Daughter needs some extracurriculars. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many people are being super witches here. OP asked an innocent question. If you can't be helpful, move on. She doesn't need your nasty preaching or condescending attitudes.

OP -- I can be helpful. My little plan worked for my dd who graduated from an Ivy. I would need to know if your child goes to a public or private school and what year they are in. Most people start too late. If child is older than rising freshman, it is late in the ballgame.

Top Ivies want people who are the best in whatever their passion is. So, if your child likes to write, as you say, then she will need to enter and win some writing contests.

For volunteering to have any recognition...child must start something themselves. Must have excellent recommendations from the people served.

Good luck! Don't listen to the naysayers. Check out fastweb.com for some ideas of all of the scholarships and contests out there. Mine won about 6 or 7 national contests and was a recruited athlete as well.

Helicopters at 12 o clock - incoming!

Do you really think most kids get into Ivies without a boatload of advice and guidance from their parents?

They don't. Kids don't know what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you want your kid to get into an Ivy, you better help them do what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you don't care (or your kid doesn't want to go to an Ivy), then feel free to back off.

I did.

Maybe OPs daughter should get into Subgenius or whatever the contemporary version of it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many people are being super witches here. OP asked an innocent question. If you can't be helpful, move on. She doesn't need your nasty preaching or condescending attitudes.

OP -- I can be helpful. My little plan worked for my dd who graduated from an Ivy. I would need to know if your child goes to a public or private school and what year they are in. Most people start too late. If child is older than rising freshman, it is late in the ballgame.

Top Ivies want people who are the best in whatever their passion is. So, if your child likes to write, as you say, then she will need to enter and win some writing contests.

For volunteering to have any recognition...child must start something themselves. Must have excellent recommendations from the people served.

Good luck! Don't listen to the naysayers. Check out fastweb.com for some ideas of all of the scholarships and contests out there. Mine won about 6 or 7 national contests and was a recruited athlete as well.

Helicopters at 12 o clock - incoming!

Do you really think most kids get into Ivies without a boatload of advice and guidance from their parents?

They don't. Kids don't know what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you want your kid to get into an Ivy, you better help them do what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you don't care (or your kid doesn't want to go to an Ivy), then feel free to back off.

I did as well. My parents did literally nothing.

I think this is the story you are telling yourself to justify your helicoptering.

I've said this before, we are depriving an entire generation of their rightful childhood. They will be very angry at us one day. And they will raise their own children with more sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many people are being super witches here. OP asked an innocent question. If you can't be helpful, move on. She doesn't need your nasty preaching or condescending attitudes.

OP -- I can be helpful. My little plan worked for my dd who graduated from an Ivy. I would need to know if your child goes to a public or private school and what year they are in. Most people start too late. If child is older than rising freshman, it is late in the ballgame.

Top Ivies want people who are the best in whatever their passion is. So, if your child likes to write, as you say, then she will need to enter and win some writing contests.

For volunteering to have any recognition...child must start something themselves. Must have excellent recommendations from the people served.

Good luck! Don't listen to the naysayers. Check out fastweb.com for some ideas of all of the scholarships and contests out there. Mine won about 6 or 7 national contests and was a recruited athlete as well.

Helicopters at 12 o clock - incoming!

Do you really think most kids get into Ivies without a boatload of advice and guidance from their parents?

They don't. Kids don't know what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you want your kid to get into an Ivy, you better help them do what it takes to get into an Ivy. If you don't care (or your kid doesn't want to go to an Ivy), then feel free to back off.

I did. Then again I suppose I am my own helicopter parent, since I am an 18 year old on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about summer classes? I'm not talking about e pensive college courses but for credit classes a school might offer so kids can get a jump on the following years curriculum.

Great idea if it comes from the kid. Otherwise, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually schools encourage this sort of thing by insisting that high school kids must have a "passion" by age 14 and that they should spend 4 years of high school creating a "story" to show that they have followed that passion. It us a ridiculous construct that leaves most kids floundering and wondering why they are losers for not having decided their future by the 10th grade. Of course it sends both parents and kids into a tizzy. I blame the system.

What schools are you talking about? I've only seen those kinds of things suggested when nervous parents show up at college nights (now offered to Freshman) and badger counselors for the proper formula to get their kids into a top college. Independent thinkers and their kids make up their own minds and explore things because they find them interesting, not because they might package them for some admissions counselor somewhere.

Parents, being the grownups, need to resist getting caught up in this nonsense and let their kids develop as they will. Otherwise, it will come back to bite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid isn't going to demonstrate any 'passion' for anything if Mommy picks out her extracurriculars. She needs to get off her ass and figure this out for herself.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually schools encourage this sort of thing by insisting that high school kids must have a "passion" by age 14 and that they should spend 4 years of high school creating a "story" to show that they have followed that passion. It us a ridiculous construct that leaves most kids floundering and wondering why they are losers for not having decided their future by the 10th grade. Of course it sends both parents and kids into a tizzy. I blame the system.

What schools are you talking about? I've only seen those kinds of things suggested when nervous parents show up at college nights (now offered to Freshman) and badger counselors for the proper formula to get their kids into a top college. Independent thinkers and their kids make up their own minds and explore things because they find them interesting, not because they might package them for some admissions counselor somewhere.

Parents, being the grownups, need to resist getting caught up in this nonsense and let their kids develop as they will. Otherwise, it will come back to bite you.

What about kids who try a lot of different things and still aren't sure what they are interested in? What about kids like that who get B averages?

[Anonymous]

IGNORE all the parents who say let DD 'just figure it out.' I was a top grad from a local strong HS and went to an Ivy. Her 'competition' is getting LOADS of help and guidance from their parents. (anyone who went to an Ivy/top college not from a competitive HS's advice should be completely disregarded - it's not the same thing - here you are trying to stand out from tons other kids who are very similar to you). It's not the same as doing the work for her - or helping brainstorm options of things to think about doing. Once she gets into something, if she's smart & motivated, she'll get there, but few teens are so enterprising to really do things without help. None of those star HS athletes out there were driving themselves to practice at age 7 or paying the select team fees. There's a difference between adding some guidance, help and support and self-motivation. Agree on things like helping 'found' something like a literary magazine or similar if that's in her strength area - definitely find awards to apply for, go to G&T camps, like the idea of doing something with a library, etc.

[Anonymous]

squash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually schools encourage this sort of thing by insisting that high school kids must have a "passion" by age 14 and that they should spend 4 years of high school creating a "story" to show that they have followed that passion. It us a ridiculous construct that leaves most kids floundering and wondering why they are losers for not having decided their future by the 10th grade. Of course it sends both parents and kids into a tizzy. I blame the system.

What schools are you talking about? I've only seen those kinds of things suggested when nervous parents show up at college nights (now offered to Freshman) and badger counselors for the proper formula to get their kids into a top college. Independent thinkers and their kids make up their own minds and explore things because they find them interesting, not because they might package them for some admissions counselor somewhere.

Parents, being the grownups, need to resist getting caught up in this nonsense and let their kids develop as they will. Otherwise, it will come back to bite you.

What about kids who try a lot of different things and still aren't sure what they are interested in? What about kids like that who get B averages?

Many of those klds will blossom later. They'll be ones we all see at high school reunions who surprise everyone because they've done so well and no one expected it. Some people find their passions early, others take longer, but it's hardly a race. And plenty of kids who go to colleges that DCUMers scoff at are going to end up being more successful than their Ivy-bound peers who peaked with the great "story" they spent 4 years creating in high school.

I highly recommend "Where You Go is Not Who You'll Be" and "Excellent Sheep" for some real life perspective on why it pays to let your kid chart their own path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid isn't going to demonstrate any 'passion' for anything if Mommy picks out her extracurriculars. She needs to get off her ass and figure this out for herself.

Not true. As long as the kid can write about her "passion" well and actually participates in the activities that mommy picks out, the kid will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid isn't going to demonstrate any 'passion' for anything if Mommy picks out her extracurriculars. She needs to get off her ass and figure this out for herself.

Not true. As long as the kid can write about her "passion" well and actually participates in the activities that mommy picks out, the kid will be fine.

Make sure she's in on the con. Maybe that could be her passion.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what percent of these kids "passions" are cons?

[Anonymous]

Model UN - you write position papers before and resolutions at the conferences, out-of-town conferences are also fun, good for public speaking
Find somewhere to volunteer that she actually likes - if she likes kids maybe volunteering in an ESL classroom or camp?

[Anonymous]

Boring pp...they is not going to stand out ...dime a dozen.
If people are ok with their kids going to average State U. please move on to another forum.