Baptism as non church members?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, join a Catholic parish. Do whatever they require you to do as Baptism-prep (wait a certain amount of time? attend the classes? etc.) Have your child baptized. From here on out, try to go to some Masses occasionally, as often as you can. For example, can you and your DH split up and go to separate Masses? That is what DH and I sometimes do. He'll stay home with the kids while I go, and vice versa. Or, here's another option: when we do go as a family, he sits up front with the 7yo so she can have a good view and follow along with what's happening (helps her to stay on task) and I sit in the crying room with 2yo (who def. still needs to be in the crying room). Do we go every week? No, we do not. So I do understand where you are coming from. But maybe take this as a gentle wake-up call that you cad do a BIT more, so it's not like you are just asking the parish, "Hey, can you do something for us, but I won't make the effort to do anything in return?" Best of luck to you. I'll say a prayer for you guys!

PS Even if you cannot attend regularly, do give regularly. Our parish lets us do it on-line so I've set it up that there is an automatic withdrawal each month. Done. I don't even have to think about it ever again.

so the church gets what's most important to them -- your money -- without any benefit to your immortal soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sheesh. Yes, it's hard for me to get two kids to church. The baby naps till about 10:30, the older one wants lunch around 11, and DH is big law and often working or tracking weekends.
I have a very strong faith and belief in God. However, I don't believe that regular attendance at Mass is required to maintain that faith. There are people who go to church every week and don't live a life in the footsteps of Jesus. I try to be a good person but I admit, it's a struggle for me to get two young children out the door and at a certain place at a certain time. Especially a place where they have to sit still and be quiet. But does that mean that my child shouldn't be welcomed into God's family? Those of you being snarky and rude should perhaps think about the way you live your lives. Going to church does not equal patience, love, and an open heart.

The thing is, Catholics have very clear rules about what it means to be a Catholic in good standing and missing mass regularly because its inconvenient does not fit in.

That does not mean you aren't a good person or a good mother, but you're certainly not a good catholic or a good catholic mother.

[Anonymous]

Why not just have a ceremony for your family and friends at home, in which you welcome the child into the human family and say some prayers if you want to. No "special" person designated by god has to officiate and you don't need to be in God's building or play by the rules of organized religion, which seems to be difficult for you.

It seems like a logical alternative to shopping around looking for the most convenient official option which you don't intend to follow up with anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just have a ceremony for your family and friends at home, in which you welcome the child into the human family and say some prayers if you want to. No "special" person designated by god has to officiate and you don't need to be in God's building or play by the rules of organized religion, which seems to be difficult for you.

It seems like a logical alternative to shopping around looking for the most convenient official option which you don't intend to follow up with anyhow.

It also sounds very self-serving and frankly, meaningless. Baptism in the church, by an ordained official, is a sacred rite of passage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have to take "classes" for our Episcopal church. We had been going to church there, though. Not sure what it means to be a "member" - as a PP said, they had my name and phone number.

Not all churches are super formal. In our church, you don't have to be super dressed up, we have a nursery for the babies and a Sunday school from 3 up. Children are welcome at the service. There's a decent number of "frazzled" parents there, where it's clear they got up, possibly ran a comb through their hair, and came to church. The kids run around the fellowship hall after the service. One reason I kept going was having somewhere to go with other people when my kid had gotten up at five anyway.

If you're looking for Cathoilc church, go to thr Saturday evening mass . Catholics will have more requirements.

Yeah, I agree (also attending an Episcopal church with a nursery and Sunday school). I honestly go to church (partially) because it provides a bit of the break on the weekends - the kids love attending Sunday school and hanging out with the other kids, and I get a bit of a break and a chance to socialize myself. And people seriously come in shorts, and some come in 30 minutes late because that's how long it took them to get their kids organized. And it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just have a ceremony for your family and friends at home, in which you welcome the child into the human family and say some prayers if you want to. No "special" person designated by god has to officiate and you don't need to be in God's building or play by the rules of organized religion, which seems to be difficult for you.

It seems like a logical alternative to shopping around looking for the most convenient official option which you don't intend to follow up with anyhow.

It also sounds very self-serving and frankly, meaningless. Baptism in the church, by an ordained official, is a sacred rite of passage.

Shopping around for a church that doesn't expect you to attend and doesn't require classes sound pretty meaningless too, from a religious perspective. But if the point is to welcome the child into the world, that can be done outside of church without all the rules and regulations and commitment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have to take "classes" for our Episcopal church. We had been going to church there, though. Not sure what it means to be a "member" - as a PP said, they had my name and phone number.

Not all churches are super formal. In our church, you don't have to be super dressed up, we have a nursery for the babies and a Sunday school from 3 up. Children are welcome at the service. There's a decent number of "frazzled" parents there, where it's clear they got up, possibly ran a comb through their hair, and came to church. The kids run around the fellowship hall after the service. One reason I kept going was having somewhere to go with other people when my kid had gotten up at five anyway.

If you're looking for Cathoilc church, go to thr Saturday evening mass . Catholics will have more requirements.

Yeah, I agree (also attending an Episcopal church with a nursery and Sunday school). I honestly go to church (partially) because it provides a bit of the break on the weekends - the kids love attending Sunday school and hanging out with the other kids, and I get a bit of a break and a chance to socialize myself. And people seriously come in shorts, and some come in 30 minutes late because that's how long it took them to get their kids organized. And it's no big deal.

I hope you contribute monetarily for this service.

[Anonymous]

If the main problem is that it's hard to get to church on Sunday morning, then the Catholic church is probably the best option. When I look at www.masstimes.org for my location, for example, I see Masses on Saturday evening, then on Sunday all day as late as 8 pm.

Many parishes have programs for preschoolers on Sunday morning, although that would give you less flexibility. I agree, though, with those who say that once you've had your children baptized you've made a commitment; the church is a community and needs its people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, join a Catholic parish. Do whatever they require you to do as Baptism-prep (wait a certain amount of time? attend the classes? etc.) Have your child baptized. From here on out, try to go to some Masses occasionally, as often as you can. For example, can you and your DH split up and go to separate Masses? That is what DH and I sometimes do. He'll stay home with the kids while I go, and vice versa. Or, here's another option: when we do go as a family, he sits up front with the 7yo so she can have a good view and follow along with what's happening (helps her to stay on task) and I sit in the crying room with 2yo (who def. still needs to be in the crying room). Do we go every week? No, we do not. So I do understand where you are coming from. But maybe take this as a gentle wake-up call that you cad do a BIT more, so it's not like you are just asking the parish, "Hey, can you do something for us, but I won't make the effort to do anything in return?" Best of luck to you. I'll say a prayer for you guys!

PS Even if you cannot attend regularly, do give regularly. Our parish lets us do it on-line so I've set it up that there is an automatic withdrawal each month. Done. I don't even have to think about it ever again.

so the church gets what's most important to them -- your money -- without any benefit to your immortal soul.

Not sure if what you are criticizing here is the Church, or me? But yes, we did so for a number of reasons. 1) It was important to us to support the parish b/c they do a lot of good, even if we ourselves were too lame to make it there each and every single week. We make it about 50% of the time, I'd say. 2) Because we we know it would be rather selfish and uncouth of us to expect THEM to deliver sacramental support when WE need it (baptisms, First Communion, etc.) if we do not give BACK to them in some way. And 3) b/c we wanted our daughters to go to their school once she got to be kindergarten age, so, again, we wanted to have established a regular pattern of giving to and supporting the parish. Our 7yo daughter just completed 1st grade there and our 2yo will apply for kindergarten when she gets to be the right age. As 2yo gets older and our life has settled more into a routine, and b/c 7yo will be preparing for her First Penance and First Communion this year and we want to support that and show how important we think it is, DH and I know that we need to improve our attendance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the main problem is that it's hard to get to church on Sunday morning, then the Catholic church is probably the best option. When I look at www.masstimes.org for my location, for example, I see Masses on Saturday evening, then on Sunday all day as late as 8 pm.

Many parishes have programs for preschoolers on Sunday morning, although that would give you less flexibility. I agree, though, with those who say that once you've had your children baptized you've made a commitment; the church is a community and needs its people.

During the summer , we like to attend the 7 pm Sunday Mass or 4 pm Saturday vigil Mass in shorts and tees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, join a Catholic parish. Do whatever they require you to do as Baptism-prep (wait a certain amount of time? attend the classes? etc.) Have your child baptized. From here on out, try to go to some Masses occasionally, as often as you can. For example, can you and your DH split up and go to separate Masses? That is what DH and I sometimes do. He'll stay home with the kids while I go, and vice versa. Or, here's another option: when we do go as a family, he sits up front with the 7yo so she can have a good view and follow along with what's happening (helps her to stay on task) and I sit in the crying room with 2yo (who def. still needs to be in the crying room). Do we go every week? No, we do not. So I do understand where you are coming from. But maybe take this as a gentle wake-up call that you cad do a BIT more, so it's not like you are just asking the parish, "Hey, can you do something for us, but I won't make the effort to do anything in return?" Best of luck to you. I'll say a prayer for you guys!

PS Even if you cannot attend regularly, do give regularly. Our parish lets us do it on-line so I've set it up that there is an automatic withdrawal each month. Done. I don't even have to think about it ever again.

so the church gets what's most important to them -- your money -- without any benefit to your immortal soul.

Not sure if what you are criticizing here is the Church, or me? But yes, we did so for a number of reasons. 1) It was important to us to support the parish b/c they do a lot of good, even if we ourselves were too lame to make it there each and every single week. We make it about 50% of the time, I'd say. 2) Because we we know it would be rather selfish and uncouth of us to expect THEM to deliver sacramental support when WE need it (baptisms, First Communion, etc.) if we do not give BACK to them in some way. And 3) b/c we wanted our daughters to go to their school once she got to be kindergarten age, so, again, we wanted to have established a regular pattern of giving to and supporting the parish. Our 7yo daughter just completed 1st grade there and our 2yo will apply for kindergarten when she gets to be the right age. As 2yo gets older and our life has settled more into a routine, and b/c 7yo will be preparing for her First Penance and First Communion this year and we want to support that and show how important we think it is, DH and I know that we need to improve our attendance.

So there is a lot of earthly benefit to your family, but not to your soul, because missing mass is a mortal sin that disqualifies you from taking communion and keeps you out of heaven, should you die before returning to a state of grace.

I guess in the days before on-line banking, the priests were stricter about people coming to church, because otherwise they wouldn't get the money for that day. Now the money comes in anyhow, so your attendance doesn't matter as much -- to the Church -- but it still matters to God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I guess in the days before on-line banking, the priests were stricter about people coming to church, because otherwise they wouldn't get the money for that day.

Catholic priests do get a salary, but it isn't much. Not nearly as much as someone who manages a business of the same size. My own (comfortable) parish gives us an accounting once a year, and they seem to be taking that non-profit status literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I guess in the days before on-line banking, the priests were stricter about people coming to church, because otherwise they wouldn't get the money for that day.

Catholic priests do get a salary, but it isn't much. Not nearly as much as someone who manages a business of the same size. My own (comfortable) parish gives us an accounting once a year, and they seem to be taking that non-profit status literally.

Priests also get free room and board and maid service, a pension and a place to live for the rest of their lives. Still not the best deal, because they have to forego having a family of their own, but more security than most people have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Priests also get free room and board and maid service, a pension and a place to live for the rest of their lives. Still not the best deal, because they have to forego having a family of their own, but more security than most people have.

Their pensions are small; you can tell by the number of very old priests who are "in residence" at various parishes. They really don't get to retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have to take "classes" for our Episcopal church. We had been going to church there, though. Not sure what it means to be a "member" - as a PP said, they had my name and phone number.

Not all churches are super formal. In our church, you don't have to be super dressed up, we have a nursery for the babies and a Sunday school from 3 up. Children are welcome at the service. There's a decent number of "frazzled" parents there, where it's clear they got up, possibly ran a comb through their hair, and came to church. The kids run around the fellowship hall after the service. One reason I kept going was having somewhere to go with other people when my kid had gotten up at five anyway.

If you're looking for Cathoilc church, go to thr Saturday evening mass . Catholics will have more requirements.

Yeah, I agree (also attending an Episcopal church with a nursery and Sunday school). I honestly go to church (partially) because it provides a bit of the break on the weekends - the kids love attending Sunday school and hanging out with the other kids, and I get a bit of a break and a chance to socialize myself. And people seriously come in shorts, and some come in 30 minutes late because that's how long it took them to get their kids organized. And it's no big deal.

I hope you contribute monetarily for this service.

Oh, please. I've been on the vestry, I've been the treasurer, and I give a significant portion of our family's income to the church. There are other places I could go on Sunday morning than church; I was trying to point out it doesn't need to feel like an onerous task.