Rant about childless family members

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family members sound kind of stupid, honestly. I'm childfree, and I completely get how much harder everything is with a kid. I go to see my friends with kids 95% of the time (and I usually bring takeout). i let them choose the best times to get together, and I'm fine with it being pretty rare.

I mean, really - there are multiple people in your family who don't understand you can't leave sleeping children home alone? Maybe you just have a particularly irresponsible family?? Because this seems beyond being childless and more like being clueless to the entire world around them.

That said, your complaints about them not sticking around to help with the hard stuff... well, yeah, that's the benefit of not having kids. I don't think they should be expected to. Part of your post is about stupid expectations from your family without kids (totally understandable), but part of your post reads -to me- like a whine about why people aren't giving you special accommodation now that you're a MOMMYYYYY (Why shouldn't you be expected to equally participate in family events/gifts?).

I'm the oldest, so I've had to take on the role of the responsible one. It kind of sucks. I'm always the one at family gatherings helping out our parents with dishes, cooking, cleaning up, while the other siblings and cousins have fun. It's hard for me to see other older people working hard or struggling and just sit back and relax myself. It kind of creates a distance between me and my siblings/cousins, which I resent, but I think that's just part of being the oldest.

And it was a male sibling who thought I could leave a sleeping child at home. Not to excuse it, but guys really, really don't get it, especially before kids. DH was the same.

And yes, I know, I get the part where it's not their responsibility to help with the not-fun stuff with the kids. That's why I avoid asking, most of the time, and generally just try to include them in the fun stuff.

I also get that they are my kids, my responsibility - but at the same time, it just aggravates me that at a family dinner table of 8 people, not one offers to help out one mom who is clearly running around the entire time getting food for the kids, changing diapers, feeding the baby, taking the older child to the potty, cutting up food, cleaning up after them. And then, I am pressured to bring the kids out after dinner to "do something fun" and made fun of as having a pole up my butt for not wanting to!

OP this is a different problem altogether than the one in your original post. You should stop this. Take care of your kids. Be the one to
leave to change diapers at the time for clearing the table. AT least don't do more than your fair share. You'll feel better. Don't you at least have any BILs or SILs with manners? I help out at MIL's house even though her own kids won't because I don't feel like I am at Mom's house where I can act like a 6 year old.

As for the kids, I agree that your siblings don't sound like the easiest to deal with but to be honest another part of your problem is your DH. You are hoping your siblings provide you with a break. That's not fair to them. You knew what you were stepping into with DH, and he should get you more help (working all those hours must earn some extra $, right) so you don't feel the need to unload on your siblings and aren't feeling burnt out from taking care of kids solo all the time.