Classmate "doesn't celebrate birthdays"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad grew up in a family that didnt celebrate birthday because of their religion - Church of the Bretheren.
i really dont know much else about it but they went to church often three times a week.

I grew up CoB -- this surprises me, but not by much. My family didn't really 'celebrate' any birthdays or holidays, though they were acknowledged and not exactly forbidden.

[Anonymous]

United/Worldwide Church of God doesn't recognize birthdays or traditional holidays. Had a HS friend (in the '80s) who had to deflect any birthday greetings. He's now on FB and seems to happily accept birthday greetings, even though both he and his wife went to the church's (now defunct) evangelical university, Ambassadors. Knew a family more recently who also opted out of birthday/holiday parties, the pledge, and a few other things. Refused to go to a mandatory school training event because it interfered with one of their all-day church things then threatened to sue the preschool. Took the kids out of school for 3 weeks for required travel to Feast of the Tabernacles in the Bahamas.

[Anonymous]

But you don't know this woman is a jw right? Maybe she has another reason for not celebrating birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up as a JW. They have a very literal way of viewing the bible. Since the bible only mentions two birthdays and they both end badly, the stance is no birthdays- obviously God doesn't want his worshipers celebrating the day of their birth. They only celebrate wedding anniversaries and their version of passover.

It's a lonely childhood and I'm glad I choose to leave the religion, even though it meant losing my family. I think birthdays are a wonderful time, when a person can feel special for one day.

You should do an AMA thread.

I never thought about that. I always feel so ordinary but I did have an abusive and chaotic childhood.

JW childhood poster, you also posted on the "Embarrassing Parents" thread, no? It's interesting to me and I also think you should do an AMA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up as a JW. They have a very literal way of viewing the bible. Since the bible only mentions two birthdays and they both end badly, the stance is no birthdays- obviously God doesn't want his worshipers celebrating the day of their birth. They only celebrate wedding anniversaries and their version of passover.

It's a lonely childhood and I'm glad I choose to leave the religion, even though it meant losing my family. I think birthdays are a wonderful time, when a person can feel special for one day.

You should do an AMA thread.

I never thought about that. I always feel so ordinary but I did have an abusive and chaotic childhood.

JW childhood poster, you also posted on the "Embarrassing Parents" thread, no? It's interesting to me and I also think you should do an AMA!

I didn't. I started an AMA but it's buried in off topic. The link was posted on this thread a bit back. Thanks, go ask me anything on it .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Jehovah's Witness does not celebrate birthdays.

Or any holidays. No Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc. I'm not sure about thanksgiving.

They don't vote either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, she could have RSVPed no and I wouldn't have said anything to her today. I don't know why she couldn't have added "we are Jehovah's Witness and so we don't celebrate birthdays." No different than an Orthodox Jew saying, "we don't drive on Saturdays and can't make it to the venue." Done. Instead it was so vague and her girls seemed somewhat uncomfortable with the conversation. Now I get why. I respect a religious belief but didn't know this actually was a thing. Thank you all for helping me sort that out.

I would imagine Jehovah's Witnesses are used to people looking at them strangely and she just didn't feel up to it or something. Who knows. I am Jewish and always feel awkward telling non-Jews I am taking off for Rosh Hashanah or not eating bread products during Passover, stuff like that. It's not that I feel embarrassed about it, but I don't want to make the other person feel uncomfortable or embarrassed (often the reaction is "oh, sorry, I didn't know!" when of course they had no reason to know and I didn't expect that they would). I wouldn't avoid the question if asked directly, but if someone offers me a cupcake during Passover I just say "no thanks." I don't give a reason unless they ask. She probably felt like it was rude to just say no, and maybe she didn't want to outright lie by saying she had another engagement, so she offered a half reason. No big deal really and now you know not to be hurt when your kid is not invited to her kid's birthday party!

Personally, I'd much rather know the reason... I like learning about other cultures and what they do to honor their religion. Some of it I just file away for next year. I work with at least one kosher person, so I know that I can stop by the kosher bagel place before a meeting to grab something he can eat too. I get that it might be annoying to have to inform so many people I guess.

[Anonymous]

We knew Christian Scientists who didn't celebrate birthdays, but they were pretty flexible about it. I understand (from google) that it's up to the individual, not necessarily a question of church doctrine.

[Anonymous]

How sad to have so few celebrations. I'm Jewish and one of my favorite prayers essentially says "thanks, god, for letting me live to see this occasion." It's appropriate for almost anything new or unusual or that you haven't done in a while.

[Anonymous]

I know many JWs through marriage. Its interesting how they choose to interpret things. They officially do not celebrate birthdays, yet a special day out for a movie, dinner and ice cream is ok. They don't officially celebrate the 4th of July, but watching fireworks is ok. Some have Thanksgiving, some have Thanksgiving on the next day. They often make a huge deal about anniversaries and turn them into a Christmas like atmosphere trading a ridiculous number of presents with each other. So, not all JW kids are totally deprived. In fact I'd say these kids get more presents than I got as a kid... but yes they officially don't celebrate birthdays or holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know many JWs through marriage. Its interesting how they choose to interpret things. They officially do not celebrate birthdays, yet a special day out for a movie, dinner and ice cream is ok. They don't officially celebrate the 4th of July, but watching fireworks is ok. Some have Thanksgiving, some have Thanksgiving on the next day. They often make a huge deal about anniversaries and turn them into a Christmas like atmosphere trading a ridiculous number of presents with each other. So, not all JW kids are totally deprived. In fact I'd say these kids get more presents than I got as a kid... but yes they officially don't celebrate birthdays or holidays.

I'm sure lots of people in every faith bend the rules. I've heard a lot about the JW rules becoming more lax. All I know is how my life, and the lives of those I've talked to, were as children, and they were strict. Maybe it was the time period, of the 70's.

[Anonymous]

PP - Oh I do not doubt that you had a terrible time as a kid. That was not at all what I was trying to imply. I've read enough about other JWs to know that life can be pretty brutal. I was just offering some perspective on my experience. I am sure that it all has to do with the time period, location, socioeconomic status and congregation too. My point was really that these people toe the party line, but behind the scenes things are a little different.