3 kids, 60k this upcoming school year in childcare/tuition. Are we insane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Not insane. This situation will pass eventually. I would think that you need a full time nanny for both the baby and the toddler.

If your kids are happy I would stick with this. Please do not have more kids.

But will the situation really "pass eventually," PP? Not if the younger two kids also go to private K and the older one moves on to private elementary school and on and on....

OP, can you explain why your oldest needs a private K? It might help to know why. I can't speak to the nanny costs, never having gone that route, but I really find myself agreeing with those saying above to look farther ahead and consider moving to someplace where all your kids can go to good public schools if you possibly can.

As a family looking at college around the corner in a few years' time, I can only add, unless you already have college funds for three plus retirement for two adults well in hand, and are saving monthly for both -- I would really reconsider the priorities here.

[Anonymous]

2 kids, $0 in childcare/tuition this school year. Lots of savings. At my last job I didn't even make $60k, and I have two master's degrees. So from my perspective yes it's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-thanks everyone!

To clarify:
We actually share nanny for infant=$28k per year
toddler daycare=$16,000
Private Kindergarten=$12,000 + after care activities for K

I don't understand the issue. These are very inexpensive options actually. Many people in the DC area pay up to $50,000 just for two children in preschool/daycare and have much lower working salaries. If $225,000 is divided in two, that's $112,500 which is much higher than $56,000. Of course, many people can live off of just $112,500 here.

[Anonymous]

The fact that many people do this does not make it less insane.

You can get an au pair and send the older child to public school for 1/3 of this amount.

[Anonymous]

I am not entirely sure you can. in some ways it is just the cost of having three kids and living in close in neighborhoods in DC. Could OP move to an area with cheaper childcare, sure. They could have also chosen to have two kids instead of three. The actual childcare costs seem reasonable to me, is it insane they have to pay that much sure, but it is direct consequences of the choices they made. So like her DH said, you suck it up for a few years.

1. Many people don't have space for an au pair. Space is often the price paid for a shorter commute
2. If it is truly private K that is the easy one to drop, but given the age cutoff my oldest will need private K because Her birthday misses the cutoff. The other option would be to have a 5 year doing nothing all day. Sounds torturous and unfair to me since she has been used to constant interaction and friends that her preschool provides.
3. The nanny share prices actually seem reasonable to me for someone paying my normal wage and associated taxes/overtime etc. sure you could find someone desperate to take a lower amount, but personally i think if you are paying someone to work for you fill time you should pay them a livable wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not entirely sure you can. in some ways it is just the cost of having three kids and living in close in neighborhoods in DC. Could OP move to an area with cheaper childcare, sure. They could have also chosen to have two kids instead of three. The actual childcare costs seem reasonable to me, is it insane they have to pay that much sure, but it is direct consequences of the choices they made. So like her DH said, you suck it up for a few years.

1. Many people don't have space for an au pair. Space is often the price paid for a shorter commute
2. If it is truly private K that is the easy one to drop, but given the age cutoff my oldest will need private K because Her birthday misses the cutoff. The other option would be to have a 5 year doing nothing all day. Sounds torturous and unfair to me since she has been used to constant interaction and friends that her preschool provides.
3. The nanny share prices actually seem reasonable to me for someone paying my normal wage and associated taxes/overtime etc. sure you could find someone desperate to take a lower amount, but personally i think if you are paying someone to work for you fill time you should pay them a livable wage.

If your child is preschool aged she doesn't "need private K". She can continue to attend PreK, and move to K on time when she is the right age. Kids whose birthdays are early within the year have so many advantages. Why would you pay for the privilege of throwing those advantages away?

As for OP, childcare and education are not a place where I cut, if at all possible. If you think this is the best combo for your kids and you can afford it, then it's worth it. I do wonder why you don't choose a full time nanny for infant/toddler/aftercare for all 3. It seems like it would be about the same cost, and much less exhausting and complicated for you. Probably not better or worse for the kids.

[Anonymous]

You get the childcare you pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not entirely sure you can. in some ways it is just the cost of having three kids and living in close in neighborhoods in DC. Could OP move to an area with cheaper childcare, sure. They could have also chosen to have two kids instead of three. The actual childcare costs seem reasonable to me, is it insane they have to pay that much sure, but it is direct consequences of the choices they made. So like her DH said, you suck it up for a few years.

1. Many people don't have space for an au pair. Space is often the price paid for a shorter commute
2. If it is truly private K that is the easy one to drop, but given the age cutoff my oldest will need private K because Her birthday misses the cutoff. The other option would be to have a 5 year doing nothing all day. Sounds torturous and unfair to me since she has been used to constant interaction and friends that her preschool provides.
3. The nanny share prices actually seem reasonable to me for someone paying my normal wage and associated taxes/overtime etc. sure you could find someone desperate to take a lower amount, but personally i think if you are paying someone to work for you fill time you should pay them a livable wage.

If your child is preschool aged she doesn't "need private K". She can continue to attend PreK, and move to K on time when she is the right age. Kids whose birthdays are early within the year have so many advantages. Why would you pay for the privilege of throwing those advantages away?

As for OP, childcare and education are not a place where I cut, if at all possible. If you think this is the best combo for your kids and you can afford it, then it's worth it. I do wonder why you don't choose a full time nanny for infant/toddler/aftercare for all 3. It seems like it would be about the same cost, and much less exhausting and complicated for you. Probably not better or worse for the kids.

Not trying to be obtuse, but honestly i don't understand the difference between "private K" and preschool. To me they are the same thing, but we are still another three years away from being able to do start public when my DC is supposed. So I am likely missing something. The preschool my DC attends offers that final year, but it is usually a very very small class, b/c of the age range.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Dh likes parochial school for kindergarten but our dcps elementary is one of the better ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Dh likes parochial school for kindergarten but our dcps elementary is one of the better ones.

Did you tour both schools within a quick timeframe? We actually managed to tour them on the same morning -- that's just how the tours were scheduled. I made sure DH came because he really wanted to go Catholic and I wanted public. By the end of the 2nd tour, DH had no qualms about going to our public (one of the JKLM).

What exactly is it about the parochial school that he thinks is important for K? Will it change in the later grades or is he up for 3 catholic school tuitions for 13 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not entirely sure you can. in some ways it is just the cost of having three kids and living in close in neighborhoods in DC. Could OP move to an area with cheaper childcare, sure. They could have also chosen to have two kids instead of three. The actual childcare costs seem reasonable to me, is it insane they have to pay that much sure, but it is direct consequences of the choices they made. So like her DH said, you suck it up for a few years.

1. Many people don't have space for an au pair. Space is often the price paid for a shorter commute
2. If it is truly private K that is the easy one to drop, but given the age cutoff my oldest will need private K because Her birthday misses the cutoff. The other option would be to have a 5 year doing nothing all day. Sounds torturous and unfair to me since she has been used to constant interaction and friends that her preschool provides.
3. The nanny share prices actually seem reasonable to me for someone paying my normal wage and associated taxes/overtime etc. sure you could find someone desperate to take a lower amount, but personally i think if you are paying someone to work for you fill time you should pay them a livable wage.

If your child is preschool aged she doesn't "need private K". She can continue to attend PreK, and move to K on time when she is the right age. Kids whose birthdays are early within the year have so many advantages. Why would you pay for the privilege of throwing those advantages away?

As for OP, childcare and education are not a place where I cut, if at all possible. If you think this is the best combo for your kids and you can afford it, then it's worth it. I do wonder why you don't choose a full time nanny for infant/toddler/aftercare for all 3. It seems like it would be about the same cost, and much less exhausting and complicated for you. Probably not better or worse for the kids.

Not trying to be obtuse, but honestly i don't understand the difference between "private K" and preschool. To me they are the same thing, but we are still another three years away from being able to do start public when my DC is supposed. So I am likely missing something. The preschool my DC attends offers that final year, but it is usually a very very small class, b/c of the age range.

I would assume that kids from private K go on to first grade, so either the PP is then going to send her kid to public school, and have her be young for grade throughout her school career (a real disservice to the child) or pay 13 years of private school tuition so that her kid can be young for grade in college. If she's sending her kid to private K and then public K that seems like setting her kid up for boredom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get the childcare you pay for.

This. I was a SAHM until my kids went to Kindergarten and saw my share of bad nannies. I remember one particularly bad one who felt she was woefully underpaid.