How much should a man spend on an engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

What is this, 1925? Both a man and woman should pay equally (we did).

[Anonymous]

Zero. What a waste of money. Put it in your kids college plan.

[Anonymous]

Never finance a ring. That's insane. Spend no more than what you can easily afford in cash.

Personally, my ring (a sapphire) cost about $5K. It's pretty, totally my style, and meaningful to me, but in the end, it's just a piece of jewelry. I would not have wanted my now-husband to go into debt or empty his savings for it.

[Anonymous]

As someone who is terrified of jewelry ( I break out in hives and feel like I'm having a panic atack ) he better know not to buy me a ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$0. It's a stupid waste of money for a generally tacky piece of jewelry. Especially if you have a kid, OP. If your relationship really means anything (and christ, after having a kid with this guy you still think you need a superficial bauble?) then skip it.

You're right. I really considered just not having a ring at all (or get something cheap lol) but I was just curious as to what others did.

The having a kid does not mean you are less deserving of a ring. Just don't overspend because you have other priorities.

Makes sense. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Vintage rings are usually pretty inexpensive and beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is this, 1925? Both a man and woman should pay equally (we did).

OP here. This is interesting. If you are the woman, you knew when he was proposing? (Alternatively, if you are the man, your now wife knew you were proposing?) I'm just curious as to how that works. You split the ring half and half, but how/when is it given?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never finance a ring. That's insane. Spend no more than what you can easily afford in cash.

Personally, my ring (a sapphire) cost about $5K. It's pretty, totally my style, and meaningful to me, but in the end, it's just a piece of jewelry. I would not have wanted my now-husband to go into debt or empty his savings for it.

A PP did recommend the sapphire ring and the ones she posted the link to were gorgeous! This is a good idea. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what DH spent on the ring but I'm fairly certain he paid cash. He had a work opportunity where he earned extra money and I believe it went toward the engagement ring and downpayment on a car.

I just watched one of those Suze Orman videos, one that was made right during the financial meltdown and she kept telling folks "you need to stand in your truth". Don't look at what other people are doing or focus on what you don't have. You own your situation, do what you can afford to do, and keep a positive attitude on what you do have. Weddings themselves can be an expensive endeavor so personally, I would work backwards with the budget. What would you spend on the wedding, what would you spend on the wedding rings, it's important to celebrate your union just the two of you even if it is a weekend away and your parents watching your child so what would you spend on a small honeymoon. Whatever you guys decide to do, I really think the important thing is you are being thoughful with each other and it is a celebration of being together.

Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this, 1925? Both a man and woman should pay equally (we did).

OP here. This is interesting. If you are the woman, you knew when he was proposing? (Alternatively, if you are the man, your now wife knew you were proposing?) I'm just curious as to how that works. You split the ring half and half, but how/when is it given?

You have a child together. Surely the topic of marriage isn't something you are dancing around is it? You must have discussed your living arrangements and martial expectations at some point before and after the child was born. So it seems odd now to be meekly waiting for the man to propose. You decide that you are going to get married, if you decide you want a ring you shop together for it, and presumably you must have some shared financial arrangements to at least cover child care so you discuss how you will pay for it.

I get the feeling you are watching too many RomComs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what DH spent on the ring but I'm fairly certain he paid cash. He had a work opportunity where he earned extra money and I believe it went toward the engagement ring and downpayment on a car.

I just watched one of those Suze Orman videos, one that was made right during the financial meltdown and she kept telling folks "you need to stand in your truth". Don't look at what other people are doing or focus on what you don't have. You own your situation, do what you can afford to do, and keep a positive attitude on what you do have. Weddings themselves can be an expensive endeavor so personally, I would work backwards with the budget. What would you spend on the wedding, what would you spend on the wedding rings, it's important to celebrate your union just the two of you even if it is a weekend away and your parents watching your child so what would you spend on a small honeymoon. Whatever you guys decide to do, I really think the important thing is you are being thoughful with each other and it is a celebration of being together.

Wishing you the best.

This. Thanks so much, PP. This means a lot to me! Definitely will take what you said into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this, 1925? Both a man and woman should pay equally (we did).

OP here. This is interesting. If you are the woman, you knew when he was proposing? (Alternatively, if you are the man, your now wife knew you were proposing?) I'm just curious as to how that works. You split the ring half and half, but how/when is it given?

You have a child together. Surely the topic of marriage isn't something you are dancing around is it? You must have discussed your living arrangements and martial expectations at some point before and after the child was born. So it seems odd now to be meekly waiting for the man to propose. You decide that you are going to get married, if you decide you want a ring you shop together for it, and presumably you must have some shared financial arrangements to at least cover child care so you discuss how you will pay for it.

I get the feeling you are watching too many RomComs.

I think I'm watching too many RomComs too, PP We are young (I'm 23, he's 25), so I think we both have an unrealistic view of how this all will pan out. I think we are dreaming/fantasizing a bit!

[Anonymous]

Unless you make high 6-figures, don't spend 5 figures on a ring. If your woman insists on it, just remember, that's only the beginning of how shitty your life will be. OP, really, if you have other expenses, don't go beyond $2000 tops.

[Anonymous]

You already have a kid together. It should be a mutual decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$0. It's a stupid waste of money for a generally tacky piece of jewelry. Especially if you have a kid, OP. If your relationship really means anything (and christ, after having a kid with this guy you still think you need a superficial bauble?) then skip it.

You're right. I really considered just not having a ring at all (or get something cheap lol) but I was just curious as to what others did.

instead of a traditional engagement ring, I got an "anniversary ring" with five diamonds that were the same size. It is both my engagement and wedding ring. I love it, and I can wear it with everything. the ones I was looking at were between 1500-3000. Not that it matters, but we make combined 250k/year.

If I had to do it again I might just skip the ring and go with a simple band. Don't finance a ring and FFS do NOT borrow from your 401(k) for a silly amount of jewelry.