What are/were your dealbreakers beyond the usual? (cheater, abusive, etc) Anything really frivolous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6:47 - for me, the only issue there would be the Bowie thing. And I've dated guys who lived far away; it just made it more difficult to be spontaneous or to see each other during the week.

I just tend to assume that people live where they want to live, and if I want to live in Arlington and the guy wants to live in Annapolis, we probably won't work long-term. Notice that I said "probably."

The key thing is, why does someone live in a place. I lived in Bowie because it was near a job I had once...I value short commutes. Bowie to Largo was short. I now work in both Reston and Arlington, but live in Vienna. Why? Well, good schools with housing I can afford and moderate to short commutes.

Now, if I lived in Bowie because I wanted to be near the Bay for boating, and you lived in Clarendon for the Hipsters, it probably would not work.

[Anonymous]

Must have good teeth. That was my biggest frivolous dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Non smoker!

[Anonymous]

I broke up with a really, really great guy- probably the best one I dated in terms of personality match- because he was so short. It really bothered me after awhile.

[Anonymous]

Has to be able to drive manual.

Manly and artistic/creative (hard to find men that are both).

Over 6 feet.

Not cheap.

Super smart.

Compassionate and empathetic.

Luckily DH has all of these traits!

[Anonymous]

Must be a tall, masculine feminist. Believe it or not because I'm from Madison Wisconsin I know some of these types... Also good teeth. Well dressed and clean. Must be a good driver. I dated a guy in college who would swerve and not look at he road and thought it was hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who uses the women's room. No, seriously,

- well read
- likes kids and pets
- at least moderately ambitious
- thinks The Three Stooges is funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no sandals
graduate degree (preferably terminal)
no kids
no glasses with the bar in the middle
must be able to parallel park
must own home

Teehee. No sandals -- especially not Tevas.

I had to teach my now exDH to parallel park and he was nervous for years every time he had to do it. That should have been my first clue.

[Anonymous]

No golf. Golf is a divorceable offense.

[Anonymous]

Bad teeth
Shorter than 5 ' 10''
Blonds

[Anonymous]

Deal breakers:

Passive agression as a first response when faced with conflict.
Lack of empathy to the poor, children, the disabled.
Bean-counting in a relationship.
Vanity.

[Anonymous]

My unusual deal breaker: must eat meat. Really, I can't deal with any type of restrictive diet beyond ordinary preferences.

[Anonymous]

Had to be kind to wait staff/people in service industries.

[Anonymous]

Cannot handle money - no savings and credit card debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't date anyone who isn't pretty smart. And by "pretty smart", I mean high IQ and a little nerdy and well read.

Ideally he's in a similar financial position to me. I am 43 and have owned a home since I was 27. I've met a few guys who are renting rooms in people's houses and don't own their house and are kind of bouncing around in jobs and I can't really deal with that. I feel like I'm too old to date someone who is kind of transient like that.

And if he lives super far away - like Manassas or Bowie - I'm probably not going to pursue something. Because either I'll be stuck having to meet him in the middle somewhere or have to go to him. And it's possible he actually LIKES living there, and since I like living where I do (Arlington), we'd be at an impasse.

I don't know if these things are abnormal, though. I feel like they're pretty normal at this stage of the game.

Must be why you're still single!