SIL Baby Name Woes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How, exactly, does this hurt you, in any way? I'm genuinely curious. You are annoyed that she is using one of the two common nicknames for Theodore, which is a perfectly normal name, which happens to be the much more convoluted nickname for your kid, whose name is Thomas. So there will be two cousins nicknamed Teddy. And this is so awful, why?

+1. OP, you are totally ridiculous. you named you son Thomas and are upset because your SIL will name her son Theodore? you really need to grow up. you will be surprised how fast your son will outgrow "Teddy" anyway.

my father's first cousin has a daughter named like me (she is younger). my sister has the same name as the cousin (an unusual name to boot) and my brother the same name as the cousin's husband. our families have been doing Christmas together for almost 40 years, did Easter together for three decades and in August had dinner together to celebrate various family birthdays, in addition to seeing each other during the year (we lived in different towns). we shared not only but three names and never had any issue or problem. my daughter has the same name as one of the cousin's grandchildren (a common name), and nobody blinked.

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed! Not much you can do about it, but I'd still be annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Six months after my first DS was born, Dhs cousin named his new DS the same name.

The boys are now 18 years old and just fine. So are all the parents. OP, why do you even care? I didn't.

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't bother me a bit if someone else in my extended family used the same name we'd used for one of our kids. Our family has three different Marys. It's a nice name. We all liked it. No one got mad at anyone else. We all hang out together frequently and no one fixates on it. Life will go on.

Also, I think it's especially tough not to duplicate boy names in larger extended families if everyone is pretty traditional with the names they choose. In ours we have a John who goes by John and a John who goes by Jack and another Jack who goes by Jack. The name James has been used as two first names and multiple middle names. No big deal in my book. If you liked your SIL before this, please let it go!!

[Anonymous]

I literally can't believe the PPs who say this wouldn't be upsetting to them. You are totally right to be upset, OP. This is pretty ridiculous.

We named our kid the same thing as my second cousin (who we don't know well, never see, and who is about 20 years older than my DS). We asked first whether it seemed like this would be weird, and no one felt it was, but that was a very different situation, and the name had personal significance on my DH's side.

I also have two brothers who are married and have kids. One had three kids before marrying my oldest brother, and it just so happened that one of the names of those kids was the name my other SIL has always wanted to name a daughter if she had one. SIL#2 asked SIL#1 if it would be okay to name their daughter this name, and both agreed it was okay. They did make a slight modification to the name to make it a little different, though (think Anne/Ann), and they use different nicknames that are related but not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up a good friend's dad married one of his old friend's (second marriage). They were such good friends before marrying each other they had both named their kids Melinda and Garret. So the blended family had big and little Melinda and big and little Garret. There was one extra kid with his own name. Everyone survived.

That is downright bizarre!

I know someone named Kari whose parents divorced when she was young. Her dad remarried and had more kids and named one of them--Kari.

Wow, that's weird. What was the dad's reasoning for that?

[Anonymous]

I'd be irritated too, OP. But like PPs have said, she will be one with explaining to do. She'll definitely get some puzzled responses from family members about it. Hopefully it will dawn on her that it's truly odd to give your baby the exact same nick name as her brother's baby.

And this is NOT the same as using a family name, PPs.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who says to start referring to the new baby as "Little Teddy." Not to be passive aggressive, but just to drive home how confusing it will be!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP who says to start referring to the new baby as "Little Teddy." Not to be passive aggressive, but just to drive home how confusing it will be!

Except it won't be confusing. There have been several posts from people noting that cousins shared names in their family and it was not a big deal. My family was the same, and really, no one was confused. "Big Teddy" and "Little Teddy" are not confusing. My husband is the Third, so at family get-togethers, there are three men who answer to the name William. It's not a problem. Especially when the kids in question don't even have the same name! One is Thomas and one is Theodore, so any confusion is resolved by using their given names.

[Anonymous]

The thing about nicknames (especially when one isn't a common nickname for the original name) is they aren't permanent. They will have two totally different real names. Thomas and Theodore. You may find in another couple o years, your "teddy" wants to go by Tommy or Tom. Happened with us with our William. And Theodore may decide he likes Theo better than Teddy. Honestly it seems ridiculous to be this upset over matching nicknames!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP who says to start referring to the new baby as "Little Teddy." Not to be passive aggressive, but just to drive home how confusing it will be!

Except it won't be confusing. There have been several posts from people noting that cousins shared names in their family and it was not a big deal. My family was the same, and really, no one was confused. "Big Teddy" and "Little Teddy" are not confusing. My husband is the Third, so at family get-togethers, there are three men who answer to the name William. It's not a problem. Especially when the kids in question don't even have the same name! One is Thomas and one is Theodore, so any confusion is resolved by using their given names.

Exactly. Plus most kids end up with a handful of nicknames they respond to.

[Anonymous]

Call him "Other Teddy" as in "Hey, look...it's Teddy and Other Teddy. Aren't they cute?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally can't believe the PPs who say this wouldn't be upsetting to them. You are totally right to be upset, OP. This is pretty ridiculous.

We named our kid the same thing as my second cousin (who we don't know well, never see, and who is about 20 years older than my DS). We asked first whether it seemed like this would be weird, and no one felt it was, but that was a very different situation, and the name had personal significance on my DH's side.

I also have two brothers who are married and have kids. One had three kids before marrying my oldest brother, and it just so happened that one of the names of those kids was the name my other SIL has always wanted to name a daughter if she had one. SIL#2 asked SIL#1 if it would be okay to name their daughter this name, and both agreed it was okay. They did make a slight modification to the name to make it a little different, though (think Anne/Ann), and they use different nicknames that are related but not the same.

I literally can't believe the PP's who say this WOULD be upsetting to them. I have many first cousins who share the same name and are close. No one is confused. In this case, the kids wouldn't be sharing a first name at all, just a nickname, which either or both might outgrow, anyway. Not only is it not a problem, it's actually sweet and lovely. I loved the suggestion from a (sane) PP to play it up, like take pics of them with teddy bears together every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call him "Other Teddy" as in "Hey, look...it's Teddy and Other Teddy. Aren't they cute?"

Call her son Little Teddy or Teddy Too.

[Anonymous]

^You should start doing this before the baby is born. Maybe she'll change her mind.