Would you have waited around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have waited, and always waited. Phone can go dead, parents could have a flat tire, etc.

I would wait just because it's polite but it's not like a 12-year-old would be left helpless in one of the situations you described. I'm sure she'd know enough to go back into the theater, tell an employee what happened (i.e. "I went to the 7:30 showing of Cinderella & my mom was supposed to pick me up afterwards but she isn't here yet & my phone just died") & ask to use one of the theater's phones.

[Anonymous]

We had a car pool where the parents left my 13 y o DD at a game in a shady neighborhood 30 miles from our house. They said to her: We have plans. Would you mind? Of course she said no (what else would she say?) After they left she called us -- obviously, we do not car pool with them again. So I would think carefully about what kind of parents you are dealing with when you let your young DD go out. Some parents are just not -- the ones you want to driving your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a car pool where the parents left my 13 y o DD at a game in a shady neighborhood 30 miles from our house. They said to her: We have plans. Would you mind? Of course she said no (what else would she say?) After they left she called us -- obviously, we do not car pool with them again. So I would think carefully about what kind of parents you are dealing with when you let your young DD go out. Some parents are just not -- the ones you want to driving your DD.

What kind of car pool involves leaving a kid 30 miles from home in a shady neighborhood?

I don't see how that's at all applicable here. Did you just want to vent?

[Anonymous]

So easy to judge but you also don't know what the parents' constraints are. Maybe they had another (younger) child they needed to pick up from elsewhere (maybe somewhere less safe)? So yes, in a vacuum, I would have waited around. But the one thing I've learned from parenting is not to judge because there are so many factors involved in everyone's decisions and you don't know half of them.

[Anonymous]

I would have waited too. just like some guys, during courting stage they would open doors and also wait for you. after a few months, their true nature shows.... they drop you at your house and drive off....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dropped DD (7th grade but not 13 until June) at the movies to see Cinderella with a friend. I made sure they hooked up before I drove away.
I was in the parking lot reading when the movie let out but was reading a book. When I looked at the theater, DD was standing there by herself looking at her phone. Her friend had already been picked up as they probably parked at the curb instead of in a spot like me, and they drove away.

I was kind of surprised that they (the parents) didn't make sure my DD was picked up or at least confirmed I was on my way.

Miss-communication happens at this age when young teens are starting to plan going out only with friends.

I would have waited until the friend (even though she had a phone) touched base with her parents before driving away.... or am I too much of a helicopter?

I would have definitely waited. It's not only safety, it's simple etiquette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 12 people. She can stand in front of a movie theater alone. She can make short walks to the store to pick something up. She can be outside alone. You do not need to constantly fear a12 year old being kidnapped. This is the way you fail to teach confidence and competence.

It would have been polite to ask if her mom was on the way and for all you know the mom did ask. But thats not a safety issue.

I'm pretty shocked by the paranoia here.

It's not JUST about safety, as I just posted a second ago, it's a matter of politeness to me. It's rude to leave a person there waiting to be picked up. You go to an event together, you either leave together or wait till everyone's ride is there. Or, if someone needs to leave before for very serious reasons, then at least one person should wait with the other person.

That's how I was brought up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have waited. But, for me, the age isn't the biggest factor. It think it's polite. I have a friend who doesn't drive and when I drop her off at home, I don't pull away from her home until I see she's unlocked the front door and is walking into her home. When I was younger/single, my girlfriends and I would call each other when we got home, just to make sure we got home.

I don't drive either, and most people who drive me home (male or females) walk me to the entrance of my apartment complex and wait till the mani door has locked behind me. A few of them do that *and* wait till they see the the light in my bedroom go on through my window. I am always very thankful, and very impressed by those who do the latter.

It's good manners, even more than safety.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as the 13 yr old that was often left waiting around, please stick around. Even though the mall was close to my home and I was really independent, it still sucked and made me nervous - time was ticking by and I would get worried that something happened, my parents weren't coming, etc. at that age, it wasn't as fun to walk around and hang out at the mall alone so normally I just sat and waited. And yes, shady guys hit on me from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Older male here. BTDT with my kids at movies, ballgames, whatever. When delivering a child to their home I always waited till they went in.

[Anonymous]

I would have waited. Not because of paranoia over kidnapping, but I would be concerned that the parents weren't showing up any time soon - they could have been in an accident or major traffic delays. There could have been a miscommunication and they thought I was taking her home. Each of the parents might have thought the other was picking up.

Sure, she would have eventually made it home safely in any of these scenarios, but shouldn't have to be alone to figure it out.

Yes, she had her phone, but the battery could die.

OP, I wouldn't say anything to the parents. I would just know that I probably can't count on them to be the most reliable and safety-conscious.

[Anonymous]

You could avoid this by having each parent drive one way and pick up/drop off the other child from home. (Like you could pick up the friend,and drop off both at the theater, the other parent would do pick up.)

This is what me and my friends always did.

[Anonymous]

I would have waited, too. I don't leave when dropping off a kid until I see them enter the house. This was drilled into me when I was a kids and it's not only polite, it's just common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So easy to judge but you also don't know what the parents' constraints are. Maybe they had another (younger) child they needed to pick up from elsewhere (maybe somewhere less safe)? So yes, in a vacuum, I would have waited around. But the one thing I've learned from parenting is not to judge because there are so many factors involved in everyone's decisions and you don't know half of them.

+1 and OP you were there, just not paying attention. It doesn't seem wise to take umbrage at this. I think your answer is would you have been upset if you had to wait for a parent in a situation like that, one where you were standing there until they took notice?