Would you have waited around?

[Anonymous]

We wait. I picked DD (sixth grade) up from a school dance and her friend was with her. I told DD flat out "We're going to wait for Freya's mom with her; we don't leave girls standing around on the street by themselves."

I'd have done that with a boy too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have waited until her ride got there or she confirmed someone was about to pick her up.

[Anonymous]

She's 12 people. She can stand in front of a movie theater alone. She can make short walks to the store to pick something up. She can be outside alone. You do not need to constantly fear a12 year old being kidnapped. This is the way you fail to teach confidence and competence.

It would have been polite to ask if her mom was on the way and for all you know the mom did ask. But thats not a safety issue.

I'm pretty shocked by the paranoia here.

[Anonymous]

My answer would depend on the other kid and what I know about their parents' reliability. I would always ask first if they wanted me to stay. If they said yes, then I'd stay. If they said no, my mom's picking me up and I knew the parents weren't flaky, and it was a well lit, well populated area I'd be ok leaving. If I know they're the kid who's parents are always late or forget to pick them up, etc-then I'd wait or call the parents to make sure they were on the way. Or if I know the kid is impulsive and likely to wander off with friends or do stupid things-I'd wait to make sure they didn't get into trouble.

If I picked them up somewhere more isolated, then I'd definitely wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she had her phone with her, presumably they knew she'd be able to reach you, and if there was a problem with that, she'd be able to reach them again. I don't think its a huge deal.

This. That's why in the olden days my mom made sure I had a dime on me for pay phones. Well. Probably a quarter by high school.

I would have had my child check with her to make sure her ride was coming though.

[Anonymous]

I'd wait. But hell I'd wait with a 40 year old friend - him OR her - if their ride hadn't arrived. It seems rude to me to just leave someone.

[Anonymous]

In the DC area, I would have waited. if the PP is posting from some idyllic small town far from DC that is a different story. Further, I would hesitate to let my DD go to public places with this girl again. The parents are a little too casual for me.

[Anonymous]

I would have waited to or had her call you while I was there. But you really need to be more aware too. I might be a little sensitive because my husband is always buried in his phone. He doesn't glance up occasionally to see me waving from down the mall or across the parking lot or whatever. You really need to glance up from the phone or book A LOT when you are looking for somebody.

[Anonymous]

I would've waited unless I had to be somewhere else right away. If I had to leave, I would have texted the other mother.

[Anonymous]

My kids will tell you I'm pretty protective, but this has happened several times with my daughter and it never occurred to me to be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your input.
I'm the type of mom who makes sure my DD's friends goes into the house when I drop them off and do the same if I drop off my BFF after a mom's night out. It was drilled into me at college that you always have a wingman (wingwoman) when you go out and never leave her by herself.

In a way, it was a good reminder to go over with DD some of the what ifs. What if I wasn't there in a few minutes.... what if your phone was dead... Who do you approach to ask to use their phone.

But, most importantly, I talked with DD to stand up for her safety. I told her if she was in a similar situation where she is the last one, she needs to TELL that friend, "Hey, just wait for me to touch base with my mom to see where she is before you left."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input.
I'm the type of mom who makes sure my DD's friends goes into the house when I drop them off and do the same if I drop off my BFF after a mom's night out. It was drilled into me at college that you always have a wingman (wingwoman) when you go out and never leave her by herself.

In a way, it was a good reminder to go over with DD some of the what ifs. What if I wasn't there in a few minutes.... what if your phone was dead... Who do you approach to ask to use their phone.

But, most importantly, I talked with DD to stand up for her safety. I told her if she was in a similar situation where she is the last one, she needs to TELL that friend, "Hey, just wait for me to touch base with my mom to see where she is before you left."

^^ before you LEAVE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I probably would have waited, but I also don't think it's wrong that they didn't wait.

I would have waited, and they should have waited too.

Do check with your daughter. It's possible the parents asked, "Oh, should we wait with you until your mom gets here?" and she might have said, "Oh, no, she's somewhere around here and I'll call her, you don't have to wait." They STILL should have stayed until she was with you but might have taken her at her word and gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I probably would have waited, but I also don't think it's wrong that they didn't wait.

I would have waited, and they should have waited too.

Do check with your daughter. It's possible the parents asked, "Oh, should we wait with you until your mom gets here?" and she might have said, "Oh, no, she's somewhere around here and I'll call her, you don't have to wait." They STILL should have stayed until she was with you but might have taken her at her word and gone.

DD said, her friend just saw her mom, said bye, got in the car and left.

But DD now knows that she should also makes sure SHE doesn't leave a friend along.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's going to be a long teenage road, if this bothers you enough to ask here.