I feel like my kid is a full-time job

[Anonymous]

Anyone with SN kids feel their lives are in control and their kids are not the main stressors? Please chime in! Maybe you can help other parents here (including myself) to stay positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between the therapy appts, keeping in contact with teachers and school, dealing with IEP paperwork, medical and insurance paperwork, figuring out worthwhile activities/programs/camps and looking into funding all of the above, educating myself about the system and SN parenting I feel like I do little else. And my kid's needs are probably in the "moderate" range. Vent over.

Yep! My job is my vacation/down time. 3pm is when the shit hits the fan for me and it pretty much doesn't stop till 8pm. Tutors, therapy, homework which he cannot do on his own in spite of him being in 6th grade. I lie awake sick with worry just about every day of my life.

Me, too. 24/7 work- just to barely squeak by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone with SN kids feel their lives are in control and their kids are not the main stressors? Please chime in! Maybe you can help other parents here (including myself) to stay positive.

I could try, but I suspect I'd just be accused of humble-bragging about HFA, which is scary and very challenging but clearly not as hard to deal with as what some of you are going through. God bless you all.

I will say that it has made a world of difference for us to move our kids to a SN school where all the other parents have similar challenges. Playdates are not stressful because no one is judging anyone and everyone is prepared to deal with unexpected events and behaviors. (As someone, now a friend, said the first day -- all the parents here are very humble.) It's easier to relax and talk to each other at the birthday party because the threshold for what would require an intervention among the kids is lower. Whatever crazy thing your kid is doing just is not standing out as much. Plus, your kids have a better shot at forging genuine friendships with each other and the parents have lots in common to talk about. And you really can babysit for each other because you know what you're dealing with and trust each other. I know that the economics are impossible for many families, which sucks, but I just wanted to share that perspective in case it makes a difference for someone who is weighing options. Finding a real community of others in the same boat helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every kid is a FT job. If you don't do the work, you pay someone else to do it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between the therapy appts, keeping in contact with teachers and school, dealing with IEP paperwork, medical and insurance paperwork, figuring out worthwhile activities/programs/camps and looking into funding all of the above, educating myself about the system and SN parenting I feel like I do little else. And my kid's needs are probably in the "moderate" range. Vent over.

Yep! My job is my vacation/down time. 3pm is when the shit hits the fan for me and it pretty much doesn't stop till 8pm. Tutors, therapy, homework which he cannot do on his own in spite of him being in 6th grade. I lie awake sick with worry just about every day of my life.

Of all of the challenges and unique growing pains I've had to deal with my SN kid, I think the worry is the absolute worst thing to experience. I worry about him, his well being, and the quality of his adult life every single day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone with SN kids feel their lives are in control and their kids are not the main stressors? Please chime in! Maybe you can help other parents here (including myself) to stay positive.

I could try, but I suspect I'd just be accused of humble-bragging about HFA, which is scary and very challenging but clearly not as hard to deal with as what some of you are going through. God bless you all.

I will say that it has made a world of difference for us to move our kids to a SN school where all the other parents have similar challenges. Playdates are not stressful because no one is judging anyone and everyone is prepared to deal with unexpected events and behaviors. (As someone, now a friend, said the first day -- all the parents here are very humble.) It's easier to relax and talk to each other at the birthday party because the threshold for what would require an intervention among the kids is lower. Whatever crazy thing your kid is doing just is not standing out as much. Plus, your kids have a better shot at forging genuine friendships with each other and the parents have lots in common to talk about. And you really can babysit for each other because you know what you're dealing with and trust each other. I know that the economics are impossible for many families, which sucks, but I just wanted to share that perspective in case it makes a difference for someone who is weighing options. Finding a real community of others in the same boat helps a lot.

This. Totally this. Plus I no longer have the stress of the school calling me to get advice about how to handle certain behaviors -- the school either knows how to deal or is structured in a way so those behaviors don't exist in the first place. And I can be totally open about my kid's challenges without worrying about being judged.