MLK Day education-Teacher not equipped to handle questions on race

[Anonymous]

Exactly, there's no such thing as racism says a white person who benefits directly from denying its existence.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you read the thread about Black parents and school rankings?

This area is much more segregated than where I grew up, and because the segregation is such a problem here, nearly all middle- and upper-class black children go to private school. It does set up an unbalanced dynamic in public schools.

If you want to, you can point out to your daughter that it's only the same girls who play Elsa, the most dominant, out-going, popular girls. You can minimize color or race in this particular instance, if you want to go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so another child said that back when schools were segregated, your child would not have been allowed in class with the rest of them. What exactly do you think the teacher should have said then? It sounds like you are angry that your child was singled out. Do you think the teacher should have punished the other student for singling your child out or something?

Oh sorry, I see that you did say what you thought she should have done. So "cuckoo" was not strong enough huh.

Glad to see you went back to read but your original response is sad. In what world, would a parent seek a revengeful approach to a comment made by a child? Thanks for projecting characteristics on me, though. "Cuckoo" was not elaborate enough.

I sense your anger and sarcasm, but I didn't know what you thought was wrong with "so cuckoo" so I was just guessing. It completely sucks to be the only minority child in a classroom. I really wouldn't write off your teacher as clueless or incompetent though because she didn't have a lesson ready on the spot to respond to the question of why schools used to be segregated. I also wouldn't write off your whole school because it's very white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious as to how the teacher should have handled it. Suggestions? How do you teach about MLK without mentioning racism?

I think you're being a deliberate idiot you do teach about racism you just don't necessarily single out lala and talk about how she'd be segregated from her class.

[Anonymous]

I believe OP said her child was not Black, but an entirely different minority of a darker hue.

Oh, I see. OP wanted the teacher to tell everyone that her child was not African American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I believe OP said her child was not Black, but an entirely different minority of a darker hue.

Oh, I see. OP wanted the teacher to tell everyone that her child was not African American.

That's an uncharitable interpretation.

And what the OP actually said was, "DC came home and asked if she would be considered white or black (we are neither)."

[Anonymous]

Growing up in a community that didn't look like me, I would never have been upset by that kind of comment, and I still fail to see what there is to be upset about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compassion fatigue? Seriously? I am not looking for your opinion, then. You don't need to participate in this discussion as it is trivial to you and will contribute to your fatigue.

DC was upset--that is real. I am looking for insight on how to address it without having to move. BTW, she is very clear about her heritage and we have discussed race relations, slavery, etc. I have always phrased certain types of treatment as happening in the past. Obviously one comment from a child does not lend to an overall feeling of being different. It builds up over a series of experiences she has had which include seemingly innocuous comments about black people, dark skinned people, black people's physical makeup, etc. I am sorry I summarized this series of experiences into the Elsa comment--I assumed people could read between the lines. Interestingly, those who have been through it could understand this summary statement. When you have to field questions from your child about skin color, race, etc. on a regular basis, it is quite....fatiguing. If it was only just fatiguing, I would be fine. I worry more for her mental health and also for the kids in her class that are growing up with built in biases--that may have a real impact on how they behave as adults. Maybe they will do something "really" racist to catch the attention of the fatigued PP.

The incident in question took place in the class and I felt that the teacher should have reinforced how wrong the treatment was, that MLK moved America forward by showing how bad this treatment is and that the idea that skin color would determine what kind of person you are, where you go to school, etc. is wrong. Show positive examples of different types of people through literature/media. I feel that if you are going into a topic such as this, you should be better prepared to ensure a child does not feel singled out. Glossing over a comment does not help. I appreciate the answers from the teacher who said it is good not focus on it at the moment. However, I would want her to circle back to it.

Another minority mom here. I think what you describe in your first paragraph is a huge challenge of being a minority child in a homogenous environment. Your kid will always be picked to play the darker character. When she's older, she will be asked "why do Magenta people do xyz?" as if she represents all of them. I'm not sure there is an external solution for it. I can only try provide a solid foundation and instill a sense of pride in my DC so they're prepared for when those situations do happen.

As far as this particular classroom incident goes, I agree with a pp that the teacher probably thought going into such detail then and there would have made your daughter even more uncomfortable. I went to a predom white primary school, where we learned very little of my culture outside of the negative things that occurred in the past. Anyway, I just remember how uncomfortable it was to sit through those history lessons where once again I was the representative for all Magenta people.

[Anonymous]

I think you're being a deliberate idiot you do teach about racism you just don't necessarily single out lala and talk about how she'd be segregated from her class.

But, the teacher did not single her out. The other child did. Teacher tried to deflect and move on.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to live in a place where your child isn't a minority.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to live in a place where your child isn't a minority.

Oh my goodness. That isn't racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

Lots of girls require Elsa be base on "proper" hair color. You think that's racist?

Unless you've grown up literally *never* being allowed to be whatever the current most popular character is since s/he *never* looks like you, you apparently can't understand why, yes, there is subtle discrimination in not allowing the non-white girl (or non-blond girl) to be Elsa. My guess is that whomever gets to be Elsa still deviates from how she looks in the movie...but kids just focus on skin and hair color since they internalize the message that these things are more important. Unless parents intervene and teach their kids that it's not about Elsa's appearance, it's about her personality and capabilities, non-white girls will be relegated to a childhood of always being a sidekick.

OMG, kids are concrete thinkers. This is 2nd grade not sophomore year in college Sociology class…. Likely they would also tell a boy that he could not " be Elsa" would that make them homophobic or insensitive to Transgender kids ?

Better question is : WHY do you want your daughter to feel like she can be Elsa so damn bad???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need to live in a place where your child isn't a minority.

Or perhaps OP should offer to teach a few lessons on race since she doesn't like how the school is handling it.

[Anonymous]

You know when your child asks you something of a sensitive nature that catches you off guard, and you haven't thought through the perfect response before you have to acknowledge your child's question somehow?

Teaching is like that but x25 students, give or take. Sometimes kids say things that aren't "on the plan", and you can't ignore what they said but in a moment you have to think of a response that acknowledges the comment or question, but also won't open a door that you hadn't planned to open.

And, in the last 10 years or so, you also have to think of the "take home" in that split second, which is when you ask yourself what students will go home and tell their families about what you said. I completely understand why the teacher said what she said. She acknowledged the comment, which was age appropriate coming from a 2nd grader, and also reinforced that way of thinking is "cuckoo"--an accurate and age appropriate word to describe that way of thinking.

Sometimes you can't win. One day my class was brainstorming words that begin with the "sh" sound, and when it was one girl's turn she proudly exclaimed "shit!" That afternoon my principal got a call from an angry parent complaining that I allow students to use curse words in the classroom. You can't control what kids say, you can only control how you react to it, and it may not be the perfect response every single time in every parents' eyes.

If you think the situation calls for more attention than it was given, then go deeper in detail at home. Education is not just provided in school--this would be a great learning opportunity for your family to delve deeper into this subject if you feel it deserves more attention.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you can't win. One day my class was brainstorming words that begin with the "sh" sound, and when it was one girl's turn she proudly exclaimed "shit!" That afternoon my principal got a call from an angry parent complaining that I allow students to use curse words in the classroom. You can't control what kids say, you can only control how you react to it, and it may not be the perfect response every single time in every parents' eyes.

I had a first grader who announced that her dad was being sent to jail for rape. Moving on........