MLK Day education-Teacher not equipped to handle questions on race

[Anonymous]

Trying to figure out how to handle this. In DC's second grade class in a very white school and white class with a white teacher (white community), a child giving an example of racism, looked around the room gave an example that DC would not go to the same school as he and his classmates--this is fine, just normal observation from a child. How did the teacher handle this? By responding, "so cuckoo, right?" DC came home and asked if she would be considered white or black (we are neither). I explained some history and said that it wouldn't matter what color she was, that what was done back done was wrong. I am just concerned that a teacher was not able to handle this question properly. DC is upset that this would happen to her (welcome to the world!) I am upset that the teacher was not able to create a safe space for DC and also chose to educate in a simplified way. Also, I still don't know what the other kid or the class understood. I am tired of DC coming home saying she can't be Elsa when she plays with friends, etc. Guess we should just move.

[Anonymous]

I think you may just need to toghen up. I dont see the big deal here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the teacher handled it badly but your expectations are probably a little too high for the type of school and environment as well. No harm in contacting the teacher and discussing.

[Anonymous]

How did the teacher create an unsafe space?

The teacher was caught off guard and gave a stupid non-committal remark.

[Anonymous]

For what it is worth, the most dominant girl is always Elsa regardless of anything else. My very pale daughter is always Anna or Sven.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

Lots of girls require Elsa be base on "proper" hair color. You think that's racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

Lots of girls require Elsa be base on "proper" hair color. You think that's racist?

Unless you've grown up literally *never* being allowed to be whatever the current most popular character is since s/he *never* looks like you, you apparently can't understand why, yes, there is subtle discrimination in not allowing the non-white girl (or non-blond girl) to be Elsa. My guess is that whomever gets to be Elsa still deviates from how she looks in the movie...but kids just focus on skin and hair color since they internalize the message that these things are more important. Unless parents intervene and teach their kids that it's not about Elsa's appearance, it's about her personality and capabilities, non-white girls will be relegated to a childhood of always being a sidekick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did the teacher create an unsafe space?

The teacher was caught off guard and gave a stupid non-committal remark.

Because the child was singled out in a way that indicated that she was "less than". She's obviously internalized the message already. By using it as the beginning of a dialogue about how things were previously unfair and they have changed over time, she could have allowed the OP's kid to feel safe and welcome. Now she's just much more aware of how she's different...and lucky to be allowed into the all white club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

Lots of girls require Elsa be base on "proper" hair color. You think that's racist?

Unless you've grown up literally *never* being allowed to be whatever the current most popular character is since s/he *never* looks like you, you apparently can't understand why, yes, there is subtle discrimination in not allowing the non-white girl (or non-blond girl) to be Elsa. My guess is that whomever gets to be Elsa still deviates from how she looks in the movie...but kids just focus on skin and hair color since they internalize the message that these things are more important. Unless parents intervene and teach their kids that it's not about Elsa's appearance, it's about her personality and capabilities, non-white girls will be relegated to a childhood of always being a sidekick.

Growing up, I never got to be the Farrah Fawcett Charlie's Angel, because my friend was blond and I wasn't. I was the Jacklyn Smith character. And yet I achieved the DCUM measure of success, I went to an Ivy League school. I think you're putting waaay too much on Elsa play.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea what your post means. Punctuation is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to figure out how to handle this. In DC's second grade class in a very white school and white class with a white teacher (white community), a child giving an example of racism, looked around the room gave an example that DC would not go to the same school as he and his classmates--this is fine, just normal observation from a child. How did the teacher handle this? By responding, "so cuckoo, right?" DC came home and asked if she would be considered white or black (we are neither). I explained some history and said that it wouldn't matter what color she was, that what was done back done was wrong. I am just concerned that a teacher was not able to handle this question properly. DC is upset that this would happen to her (welcome to the world!) I am upset that the teacher was not able to create a safe space for DC and also chose to educate in a simplified way. Also, I still don't know what the other kid or the class understood. I am tired of DC coming home saying she can't be Elsa when she plays with friends, etc. Guess we should just move.

Bringing up an entire topic on race with 7 year olds is not an easy task. It requires preparation. I wouldn't expect a teacher to address it on the spot. Instead, I'd hope that s/he would honor it, table it and then address it the next day, for example.

Furthermore, you're clearly a minority if you're not calling yourself white. So YOU should have brought up the issue with your child, as home is a safe place. Instead, you glossed over it as well. While historically, we've made some damaging mistakes, these mistakes still haunt us today, and that's apparent in the other child's response. But you ignored it.

Furthermore, her issue with "Elsa" is yet ANOTHER example that needs to be addressed.

Remember that teaching starts at home.

And if this continues and the teacher avoids the topic in the future, then you can step in for your child.

[Anonymous]

I'd think that early elem school teacher should be prepared for this much better . Agree wholeheartedly, OP. And pp's, wth - you really think that how children play is meaningless?

[Anonymous]

Oh gawd, this is what the "struggle" has come to? Whining that non-white children can't play imaginary white characters? Gimme a break. This kind of bellyaching about trivia is why a lot of people are suffering from compassion fatigue.

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit confused by your original post, OP, but I think explaining Jim Crow to 2nd graders and describing it as "pretty cuckoo" isn't really offensive.

I mean, "cuckoo" is a kinder way of describing it than it deserves. Was there a lesson about Dr. King in there somewhere? That's where the opportunity lies, not reacting to what was likely a poorly articulated anecdote by your child.

As for the Elsa stuff, little white girls liking the Snow Queen and trying to replicate the images they saw in pretend play isn't racist -- it's just fantasy. There's no hatred in that replication or assignment of roles -- just imitation.

Are you suggesting Frozen, which was set in the Nordics, is racist? Or Disney was racist for making it?