How easy to date as a single 40yr old parent of two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men have more to lose in a divorce, especially if they have been focusing mostly on their careers, putting their eggs into a single basket.

For women, a divorce is often a nice break from the Rat Race: a few years of alimony and child support where they don't have to have a job outside of the house and now have time to reinvent themselves outside of the context of being a wife.

If you are rich. Those women aren't working in the first place anyways.

[Anonymous]

Alimony is something from the old days. These days, most women are expected to get a job if they don't have one already. They may get temporary alimony if they are SAHMs and their DH is rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:40 here - I'm 42, one kid, perpetually single. I simply don't have the time away from my kid or much money for sitters to put in an extensive online search. And I haven't met anyone great "naturally" in awhile - there just isn't a huge pool of available guys out there, at least not a huge pool that I am meeting when I go places.

do you dress in a feminine fashion or is it all about comfort? have you ever asked friends to set you up? fyi you have time, its just not a priority for you at this time. you're worth the investment and i bet your child would be glad to see you happily married. how will he/she learn what a good relationship/marriage looks life if your life is full of self-sacrifice and resignation to a perpetually single life? if your ex has visitation every other weekend, thats at least 4 days wide open for dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:40 here - I'm 42, one kid, perpetually single. I simply don't have the time away from my kid or much money for sitters to put in an extensive online search. And I haven't met anyone great "naturally" in awhile - there just isn't a huge pool of available guys out there, at least not a huge pool that I am meeting when I go places.

do you dress in a feminine fashion or is it all about comfort? have you ever asked friends to set you up? fyi you have time, its just not a priority for you at this time. you're worth the investment and i bet your child would be glad to see you happily married. how will he/she learn what a good relationship/marriage looks life if your life is full of self-sacrifice and resignation to a perpetually single life? if your ex has visitation every other weekend, thats at least 4 days wide open for dating.

Prioritizing my health and looks led to finding a great guy. I think it was simply a matter of prioritizing myself, honestly.

[Anonymous]

17:56 - I don't really think that's the case for the majority of women who divorce.

What I think happens in many cases is that the woman realizes she isn't happy with the guy AND she is already doing a larger share of house-cleaning and kid caregiving. So if she leaves, she's doing about the same amount of stuff for herself and the kids that she was before, and now she doesn't have to do it for the husband too.

There is generally a financial downside, though, unless the wife is the higher earner and doesn't have to pay spousal support. Running two households is expensive - it's one of my few complaints about being a single mom. We'd be a lot better off financially if we'd married.

[Anonymous]

00:04 - I'm the 14:40 you're questioning.

I am not the most girlie of girls and I don't do my nails because I don't care about that, but I do care about my appearance. I work out daily, and whenever I do anything social, I do my hair and makeup and dress like I care. (I'm more casual if I'm running errands, but then we're talking ponytail, minimal makeup and fitted tee/trainers.)

I have a huge circle of friends and there are guys within it, but many of the guys I know have hooked up with several women I know, and that doesn't appeal to me. My friends don't really have anyone with whom to fix me up - we all kind of know each other already.

I think online dating is probably the answer at some point, but with only two nights a week "off" from the kiddo (and no desire to leave her with a non-dad sitter after she's been at school plus extended day), it's hard to find the time that online dating requires to meet someone great. I'm picky - I'm not shallow or unrealistic in my wants, but I would like someone who brings brains and humor to the table, along with some stability.

I would love for my daughter to have role models for a loving relationship, but I honestly don't see it happening anytime soon. A fair number of my single-mom friends are in the same boat - we are just trying to juggle all the stuff that "has" to get done and what we'd "like" to get done falls to the bottom of the to-do list.