How did you break it to your kids that Santa isn't real and at what age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was told flat out, very early on, K or 1st grade, by her best friend that there was no Santa Claus, it was just your parents. (Which is what that child's parents had told her from even earlier on - they never did Santa).

My daughter immediately asked me if that was true, and I used all sorts of diversions to just get her to drop it. "Hmm, I don't know, what I was told as a child was... I definitely don't have a lot of money for presents, so do you think Mommy and Daddy could afford to buy all that for you?" etc. And it seemed to satisfy her for a while.

In 2nd grade, in the face of overwhelming pressure from her friend, she demanded I tell her the absolute truth. So I did. She burst into tears, and said "Why did you tell me there's no Santa!!!!" When she calmed down, she said, "Well, at least there's still the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny".

By CHristmastime in 3rd grade, she gave every appearance of continuing to believe in Santa, and she stopped asking.

Now she is in fourth grade and apparently unironically, has written a letter to Santa, and talks about Santa as if she still believes -- none of this "wink, wink", I'm writing a letter to SANTA CLAUSE- really you guys. So I don't know what to think! I think she really wasn't ready all that time and wanted to believe, so she just went back to forgetting what I told her?

This happened to us too, with the tooth fairy. DS figured it out, we confirmed it, he kept up appearances for his little sister. But now he keeps up the rouse so well that I'm wondering if he's forgotten she's fake!

[Anonymous]

My son believed in Santa until he was 10. We would visit the same Santa at the mall; I went to great lengths to avoid other malls with him during December; Santa brought gifts wrapped in different paper. However, he was the last of his peers. I took a leaf from The Polar Express movie and said that once you are past age 10, Santa doesn't visit any longer. He cried, but after that Christmas, he finally realized. But he does believe that miracles do happen and sometimes we are the ones that make things special.

[Anonymous]

Having "that" talk never occurred to me. I figured she'd hear it from the older kids at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son believed in Santa until he was 10. We would visit the same Santa at the mall; I went to great lengths to avoid other malls with him during December; Santa brought gifts wrapped in different paper. However, he was the last of his peers. I took a leaf from The Polar Express movie and said that once you are past age 10, Santa doesn't visit any longer. He cried, but after that Christmas, he finally realized. But he does believe that miracles do happen and sometimes we are the ones that make things special.

WTF? You went to great lengths to make your kid believe all those years and then crushed him by saying Santa won't bring him presents anymore? THEN he realized?? Wow.

My kids are in their teens and Santa still visits every year. Different wrapping paper, handwriting, cookies left out get eaten etc... If you don't believe you won't receive. They love it. They even put carrots out for the reindeer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son believed in Santa until he was 10. We would visit the same Santa at the mall; I went to great lengths to avoid other malls with him during December; Santa brought gifts wrapped in different paper. However, he was the last of his peers. I took a leaf from The Polar Express movie and said that once you are past age 10, Santa doesn't visit any longer. He cried, but after that Christmas, he finally realized. But he does believe that miracles do happen and sometimes we are the ones that make things special.

Why would you do that? I don't even know why you'd go through all that trouble to make your son believe - sounds like a lot of work, but if you did do that, why did you feel the need to disabuse him of the notion if he wasn't asking? You just decided 10 was old enough? Weird.

[Anonymous]

My DD is almost 11 and her BFF has older siblings so that is how she found out. But, she also said that she was starting to question it and "that's what happens when your dad is a scientist. You question things."

[Anonymous]

Mine was in grade 5, I think. He was mad that we had lied to him at first. I honestly thought he didn't really believe anymore, but wouldn't admit it just in case. I was sure he had recognized my handwriting the year before.

So he was mad for a bit. Then he clued in that WE got him the presents. "You bought all that.. for me?? Why?"

Now he's 13 and we talk about Santa being the spirit of Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8.5 year old still fervently believes. He is such a wildly creative child that his imagination is fully on board with all thins Santa. He can envision the workshop, the planning and mapping of routes, the reindeer feeding schedule before the big event, etc. Same with Tooth Fairy. I think I'LL be the one crying when he realizes Santa isn't real. It's so wonderful to see it all through his eyes.

this describes my 8.5y to a T. He still believes with his heart and soul - and while I worry that he will be crushed when he finds out, I love that he has the passion of his convictions.

If it makes you both feel any better mine truly believed until 10 and even then still kept it all up. I could tell once she truly knew but in her heart she kept with it for all the fun. She is 13 now and keeps the spirit alive for her 5yr old sister. Most of her friends only want presents. My daughter truly has Christmas spirit and is so much fun to be around. She wants to do most of the decorating, she puts christmas music on her phone/ipod. She still wants to put her pajamas on and go look at lights, bakes the same cookies every year, donates and volunteers to the same places, watches the shows etc...

So the same will probably be for your kids too. Keeping the magic alive and they will do the same later. Some families are just not that into it and you see that in their kids. It is just about getting gifts.

Thanks. I am the 2nd PP - and I can totally see my kid doing these things well into late childhood. He loves Christmas lights, going through the ornaments and talking about where they came from while listening to Christmas music...

[Anonymous]

I'm 44 and my mother still wraps and sends me gifts "from Santa." It's her way of saying, "Please, no need to thank *me*. I mean, I have *no idea* where those gifts came from!"

It's cute. And as the oldest of 3 sisters, we kept up the charade for a long time just because it was fun for us to engage in a little make believe now and then. But my parents NEVER insisted that we believe or really do anything other than wrap a gift from Santa (which got the same wrapping and the same handwritten note as every other present, so not a lot of effort there ) and eat the cookies and milk we left out (and I'm not happy to do the same for my kids!).

The totally let us drive the believe-in-Santa boat at our own pace, and I'm please that they participated a little tiny bit and didn't make a big show and dance about the whole darn thing. They encouraged critical thinking, and also allowed us to pretend when it suited us.

Finally, my father grew up poor, meaning no Santa. My mother grew up in another country, and Santa wasnt' part of her holiday tradition. My friends were from very diverse backgrounds, and there was no illusion that Santa visited every good girl and boy. And finally, we kids talked-- respectfully-- among ourselves about our holiday traditions, and there is no way that a smart Jewish or Muslim or non-US Christmas celebratory kid was going to play along with the idea of Santa, because even kids know it's stupid to do that.

[Anonymous]

"WTF? You went to great lengths to make your kid believe all those years and then crushed him by saying Santa won't bring him presents anymore? THEN he realized?? Wow."

I did it because he was the last of his peers and he was being made fun of by other kids. I wanted him to have one more Christmas of believing without having kids make him feel bad or silly or too old at age 10. He was sad, but he also felt comforted that every thing that happened before was believable.

Kids' awareness of a bigger world around them develops when they mover from age 10 to 11. It's the difference between 4th and 5th graders.

Glad your teens are having a good Christmas. Mine is a teen too. Maybe we will see you at the mall on the Santa line for photos. Thanks for making me feel stupis for helping my son manage the inevitable disappointment.