I don't think most people are "intolerant" of in-laws. I think you pick your spouse and you don't pick their family, and sometimes the results aren't pretty. Particularly with guys and their mothers, the boundary issues are RAMPANT. I can say honestly that I liked my MIL when I met her. And then I got to know her. She's a gossip, a racist, and doesn't respect limits with others - our relationship (or lack thereof) has deteriorated accordingly. She's not someone I want to spend time with (we see them maybe once a year). Family is wonderful in theory, sometimes better kept at a distance in practice. |
When I got pregnant, we moved to be closer to the family, after working in another country for many years. Both sets of grandparents adore their GC, but completely ignore any boundaries we are trying to establish. They are cognizant of it and in fact, get offended by our attempts to make them follow the rules. I recently overheard MIL and my mom bragging to each other about how they ignored my requests and got their way. We love them, but living near the family proved to be hard. |
Both parents are out of state (but 40min from each other). My parents come down to visit 3-4 times a year, the inlaws 1-2. We go back to visit 3-4 times a year, and take a yearly vacation with my parents and siblings (one week long). When we go home it's normally 1-3 days per family depending on why we're home. People visit us for normally long weekends (so 2-3 days). Facetime 4-5 times a week with my mother, and the inlaws 1-2 times a month. |
My in-laws live about three hours away. We see them about every three months. They never stay more than 2-3 nights at a time. My DH and I have been married for almost 27 years. I've known my inlaws since I was 15. They drive me nuts sometimes, but I adore them!
I am also a MIL. Our oldest child is 25. We see my son and is wife about three times a year. They live across the country. I hope she doesn't feel about me the way some of you feel about your MILs. Family is everything. |
Almost every fuc@ing weekend. They live 15 min away and DH can't say no. |
We see them for two hours for nonevents, 4-8 hrs for holidays like Xmas or lunar New Years or relatives in town. My DH sees his MIL once a year(live abroad). So unfair. |
What is the minus?????? |
Well, presumably you wouldn't call your DIL a cunt because she had the audacity to want to spend Christmas in her home country for the first time in 10 years. Or you don't spout racist crap. Or you don't smear dog shit on your ex-boyfriend's car door handle when you're mad at him. |
NP here. Hopefully you are also not bipolar and in the habit of screaming "Everything was just fine til SHE joined the family!" Some of us are quite justified in keeping those visits very minimal. This is my second MIL, so I know they can be lovely people. |
It's been more than 10 years since I saw SIL. Luckily she lives across the country and doesn't ever save money so she can't afford a plane ticket out here. Sorry - but I won't subsidize your lifestyle if you want to be an able-bodied, single mom on welfare.
Haven't seen MIL in about 13 years. Haven't seen aunt, uncle, cousins inlaws in 15 years. Drama, drama, drama was the reason we moved far, far away. |