Men Should Be Aggressive Except When They Shouldn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot guy being aggressive = hell yes
Ugly guy being aggressive = rapist

I think the line between creep and hot guy is more about social awareness. The socially inept who guy can't read the other person is going to come off as creepy because he's not following social norms. Not following the social norms makes someone unpredictable and a little scary. The guys who can read people and adjust their behavior accordingly are always going to get more chicks.

I prefer an aggressive man, as long as he can tell the difference between a request to chase and a firm no. If he knows me already, it isn't hard to tell the difference between the two. A soft no is a request for reassurance, but only if it's with someone I'm in a relationship with. A guy in a bar who's being too agressive is going to get shot down. I'm not into that because the expectations aren't clear. It's awkward and a little frightening. If I know my guy has my best interests in mind, he can get away with grabbing me and saying, not asking, what he plans to do.

I almost always respond positively to his advances. I think that makes him willing to aggressively put himself out there. Even if I don't drop everything and run toward the bedroom, I respond with eye contact, touch and a promise for what will happen later. I keep those promises. This way, he knows I see and appreciate his effort and interest in me. I initiate too, but not so much that I offend him.

x2!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hot guy being aggressive = hell yes
Ugly guy being aggressive = rapist


Said by a true rapey asshole who's bitter at being rejected.

So you are saying women are rapey assholes?

No I'm saying the man who wrote that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

x10000000000000000!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women completely destroyed the word "creep" by casually using to describe any guy they don't find attractive.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Hot guy being aggressive = hell yes
Ugly guy being aggressive = rapist


Said by a true rapey asshole who's bitter at being rejected.

So you are saying women are rapey assholes?


No I'm saying the man who wrote that is.

A man did not write it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Hot guy being aggressive = hell yes
Ugly guy being aggressive = rapist


Said by a true rapey asshole who's bitter at being rejected.

So you are saying women are rapey assholes?


No I'm saying the man who wrote that is.

A man did not write it.

Yes, he did. The same bitter troll all over this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

Thank you for being reasonable!
Some guys do not realize their penis is NOT the center of the universe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

Thank you for being reasonable!
Some guys do not realize their penis is NOT the center of the universe.

You have some serious anger management issues.
The problem becomes that the boyfriend (more so than husband) may be waiting for a non-no type answer because *insert feminist here* told him that anything else is rape or rapey. In the meantime, his woman has now started fucking another guy, one who could be considered rapey (but she wanted rapey from that guy). Lots of signals to interpret and misinterpret.
So, one might argue that the center of the universe is you and your pussy and you don't care what signals you're sending because you can feel free to reinterpret them later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

Thank you for being reasonable!
Some guys do not realize their penis is NOT the center of the universe.

You have some serious anger management issues.
The problem becomes that the boyfriend (more so than husband) may be waiting for a non-no type answer because *insert feminist here* told him that anything else is rape or rapey. In the meantime, his woman has now started fucking another guy, one who could be considered rapey (but she wanted rapey from that guy). Lots of signals to interpret and misinterpret.
So, one might argue that the center of the universe is you and your pussy and you don't care what signals you're sending because you can feel free to reinterpret them later.

LOL!! Not the PP but you sound absolutely batshit insane!! Your obsession with a woman fucking another guy reveals a lot more about your priorities than you realize.... hahaha pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by the "I wish he'd grab my face and kiss me" thread. A lot of women want guys to be assertive and aggressive sexually. A lot of them don't want to have to tell the guy to be this way because it ruins the effect if they have to say something. The guy should just want them so much, he just has to have her.

However, it has to be the right guy doing this. A creep being assertive and aggressive is beyond awful. Rapists have also poisoned the water. They work on the edges of plausible deniability, and take advantage of women's more passive role in the dating/sex game to force themselves on unwilling women or women so drunk (sometimes made that way by the predator) they are unable to give any kind of meaningful consent. So, women have pushed for tools and social norms that will hopefully make these predators accountable and offer some level of protection to women. Unfortunately, these tools and social norms have also blunted the inclination of a lot of good dudes to pursue women assertively. Sometimes a woman might give a "soft no" which non-rapists have been conditioned to regard at face value when the woman really meant "try harder."

So, ladies, when you want a guy to come on strong, do you give recognizable signals? Do you have trouble figuring out when, in response, guys are uninterested as opposed to simply oblivious? Does it make the flirting/courtship process less fun if you have to be obvious? Other thoughts?

That poster wasn't sending signals to her husband. She TOLD him that she wanted him to grab her face and kiss her.

How about you ask your woman what she wants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, as a man, I can easily understand "no means no." It's clear and unambiguous.

When I was dating, I always took no to mean no, and I did not try to initiate sex or intimacy without a pretty clear signal that it was OK. Many women told me (usually after we broke up), that the found this irritating and frustrating. I remember visiting an ex-girlfriend who was home sick from work. Because she was an ex and not feeling well, sex was not on my radar at all, but she seemed to be acting odd the whole visit. As I was leaving, she finally told me in exasperation that she wanted to hook up and had been trying to drop hints. Another time, I woke up to find that a new girlfriend who had told me explicitly that she did not want us to have sex yet had suddenly changed her mind and decided to act on that decision while I was sleeping. Another ex girlfriend who I had not been good about keeping in touch with spend an evening telling me how mad she was at me and how she really did not ever need to see me again, then when I went to shake her hand (don't know what I was thinking) she snorted and jumped me.

Now that I'm married, my wife wants me to initiate sex, but also tends to say no about 90% of the time. At this point, I've pretty much given up asking. And yet she wonders why we are not more intimate.

I guess what I'm saying is that no should mean no and women will likely be happiest if they initiate sex sometimes and/or clearly say "yes" or "maybe" or "later" when that's what they are thinking.

And thus, Fonzie's advice to Richie (slightly paraphrased)...
"When a woman says no, she means yes. However, when a woman says, I'm about to call the police, she's about to call the police."

I'm in a BDSM set up with my wife. She's the submissive. One of the boundaries set up at the beginning is that she doesn't get to say no, which is called "consensual non-consent." I must specify that you need to have such a discussion before you make an assumption.

While BDSM is the extreme, it does go to show that there are many women who want to be forcefully taken, and you need to know who/when that is, lest they get annoyed with you like this guy here is describing.

It also explains why women "love their husbands" but need to get FUCKED by that other guy.

The feminists will call me out on it, but that's just because I'm pure ASCII on their computer/phone screens and their animal side isn't kicking in.

But you negotiated for "consensual non-consent" in the first place. You set up your boundaries/rules/safe words. Both of you opened your mouths and said what you wanted.

You have to open your mouth and ask for what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by the "I wish he'd grab my face and kiss me" thread. A lot of women want guys to be assertive and aggressive sexually. A lot of them don't want to have to tell the guy to be this way because it ruins the effect if they have to say something. The guy should just want them so much, he just has to have her.

However, it has to be the right guy doing this. A creep being assertive and aggressive is beyond awful. Rapists have also poisoned the water. They work on the edges of plausible deniability, and take advantage of women's more passive role in the dating/sex game to force themselves on unwilling women or women so drunk (sometimes made that way by the predator) they are unable to give any kind of meaningful consent. So, women have pushed for tools and social norms that will hopefully make these predators accountable and offer some level of protection to women. Unfortunately, these tools and social norms have also blunted the inclination of a lot of good dudes to pursue women assertively. Sometimes a woman might give a "soft no" which non-rapists have been conditioned to regard at face value when the woman really meant "try harder."

So, ladies, when you want a guy to come on strong, do you give recognizable signals? Do you have trouble figuring out when, in response, guys are uninterested as opposed to simply oblivious? Does it make the flirting/courtship process less fun if you have to be obvious? Other thoughts?

That poster wasn't sending signals to her husband. She TOLD him that she wanted him to grab her face and kiss her.

How about you ask your woman what she wants?

What she wants right now, while she's busy being a mom and/or employee and/or a lot of other things? Or maybe when she's about 30 seconds from orgasm? Because what she wants may change and she may be unable to articulate what she wants when she wants. Also, for some women, the process of actually coming right out and saying what she wants may be scary and/or ruin the effect she's looking for.

So, it's good in theory. But, in practice, just asking isn't necessarily a silver bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

Thank you for being reasonable!
Some guys do not realize their penis is NOT the center of the universe.

You have some serious anger management issues.
The problem becomes that the boyfriend (more so than husband) may be waiting for a non-no type answer because *insert feminist here* told him that anything else is rape or rapey. In the meantime, his woman has now started fucking another guy, one who could be considered rapey (but she wanted rapey from that guy). Lots of signals to interpret and misinterpret.
So, one might argue that the center of the universe is you and your pussy and you don't care what signals you're sending because you can feel free to reinterpret them later.

LOL!! Not the PP but you sound absolutely batshit insane!! Your obsession with a woman fucking another guy reveals a lot more about your priorities than you realize.... hahaha pathetic.

1. As usual, nice guys finish last. Rapists are going to rape and they won't care about being rapey. Because they are.

2. Self-centered, aggressive non-rapists are just going to come on strong. If they get rejected by a woman who feels like that's rapey, they probably won't care much and will just move on to the next woman until they find a woman who is turned on by that kind of masculinity.

3. Nice, respectful guys will listen & keep a respectful distance until they are given clear signs to proceed. Mostly though, they'll resign themselves to being really good friends & probably spend a lot of time consoling their women-friends who are pining over guy #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rapists helped create this situation, but they're very happy to blame feminists for it.

I'm not disputing that rapists created the situation, but feminists exacerbate the problem by making sure the male in any relationship adheres to "no means no" while simultaneously faulting him for not knowing when "no doesn't mean no" without a specific conversation.

I get that, and I share that frustration. The problem is that actual rapists also profess confusion and frustration as cover for raping. So, my frustration with respect to the ambiguous messages women send and maybe not getting laid as much as I could seems pretty minor when compared to being raped and having the rapist get away with it by claiming mixed messages.

Thank you for being reasonable!
Some guys do not realize their penis is NOT the center of the universe.

You have some serious anger management issues.
The problem becomes that the boyfriend (more so than husband) may be waiting for a non-no type answer because *insert feminist here* told him that anything else is rape or rapey. In the meantime, his woman has now started fucking another guy, one who could be considered rapey (but she wanted rapey from that guy). Lots of signals to interpret and misinterpret.
So, one might argue that the center of the universe is you and your pussy and you don't care what signals you're sending because you can feel free to reinterpret them later.

LOL!! Not the PP but you sound absolutely batshit insane!! Your obsession with a woman fucking another guy reveals a lot more about your priorities than you realize.... hahaha pathetic.

1. As usual, nice guys finish last. Rapists are going to rape and they won't care about being rapey. Because they are.

2. Self-centered, aggressive non-rapists are just going to come on strong. If they get rejected by a woman who feels like that's rapey, they probably won't care much and will just move on to the next woman until they find a woman who is turned on by that kind of masculinity.

3. Nice, respectful guys will listen & keep a respectful distance until they are given clear signs to proceed. Mostly though, they'll resign themselves to being really good friends & probably spend a lot of time consoling their women-friends who are pining over guy #2.

Men need to stop being number 3 if they wish to actually have sex regularly, even in a committed relationship.