My parents are very wealthy and they are giving me nothing of christmas!

[Anonymous]

My mother is hardly irrelevant...we talk daily, often several times a day. But that doesn't mean she has to buy me something as part of a commercialized holiday. I value personal connections and the gift of sometimes time rather than materialistic objects.

[Anonymous]

You're all being so mean to OP. It's obviously not about the gift but about what the gift symbolizes. Why would a parent tell their kid- however old- no gift for you for Christmas? Sounds either mean spirited or their is an unfortunate rift in the relationship. That's the real issue. I doubt OP is bemoaning the fact that she may not get a new scarf for Christmas. I told my parents they don't have to get me anything this year because there are now multiple grandchildren, but that's different than my parents saying to me , hey we're not giving you anything this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother is hardly irrelevant...we talk daily, often several times a day. But that doesn't mean she has to buy me something as part of a commercialized holiday. I value personal connections and the gift of sometimes time rather than materialistic objects.

You so dense! It is *YOU* that is making something out of the materialistic part of gift giving. Gift giving is not just about the object that is given from the giver to the receiver, it is largely about the sentiment, the occasion, the thought, the underlying message of love and consideration. Your mother isn't giving you a gift because you have a lack of some material thing, or that she feels the need to spend money. She loves you and she wants to show you, constantly, and this is an occasion for her to do that. Be a good child and indulge her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should trade parents. My mom is mad at me because I actually won't let her get me anything. I'm self sufficient enough to buy all the things I need so no need to have her buy something I don't. Maybe take a lesson in humility op.

Old age slowly wears us down, it saps our strength, strains our mind, and dulls our senses. It is painful to feel oneself slip away, to watch people's eyes gloss over you on the street, because you don't matter any more, or have in fact become a burden. We all have a craving to be needed and liked. While we can rationalize being cast aside by strangers, but it is torture to become irrelevant to family.

So regardless of whether you can provide for yourself, you should convey to your mom that she is needed and appreciated. If that means you let her buy you a gift, big or small, that's what you need to do.

Well said! I would invite them to join you for dinner sometime in December to be together and celebrate the season and not think twice about gift-giving.