Should I feel weird about my sister-in-law breastfeeding when my kids are there visiting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/ a PP. Not appropriate in front of pre- teen and teen boys WITHOUT a coverup. Nobody is asking her to "starve her kids" here .... Just be respectful if pubescent boys .

+1000 It is inappropriate. At that age it is probably considered to be more sexual than maternal.

She's in her OWN HOUSE. Have the ignoramuses here glossed over that fact?

Well, I poop, pee, shower, and change tampons in my OWN HOUSE too, but not in front of guests.

So those things are on the same plane as feeding an infant? Okay, sure. She should just go into the bathroom, for god's sake.

They are on the same level as exposing one's breasts injudiciously, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

Have you ever nursed an infant? The majority of women don't just flop them both out while they feed the baby.

If it's a problem then the boys just shouldn't be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/ a PP. Not appropriate in front of pre- teen and teen boys WITHOUT a coverup. Nobody is asking her to "starve her kids" here .... Just be respectful if pubescent boys .

+1000 It is inappropriate. At that age it is probably considered to be more sexual than maternal.

She's in her OWN HOUSE. Have the ignoramuses here glossed over that fact?

Well, I poop, pee, shower, and change tampons in my OWN HOUSE too, but not in front of guests.

So those things are on the same plane as feeding an infant? Okay, sure. She should just go into the bathroom, for god's sake.

They are on the same level as exposing one's breasts injudiciously, yes.

Since that doesn't happen when nursing, I guess it doesn't apply here.

[Anonymous]

I'm a husband. I have a son.

This thread is making me sad.

Here is a chance to give these boys a lesson in being gentlemen, and too many of you don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.

If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So. She is nursing her kid. In her OWN HOME. And there still are people who think she should have to cover up.

FFS.

Grow up and teach your kids what breasts are for.

+ 1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.

If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.

You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

Have you ever nursed an infant? The majority of women don't just flop them both out while they feed the baby.

If it's a problem then the boys just shouldn't be there.

You didn't read the original post. They are "huge" and sil is "pretty much topless."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.

If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.

You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?

My child is female and young, but I have a fair amount of experience with preteen boys. In my experience, the easiest way to ensure that they are respectful of women is to require that they behave respectfully. If you treat this situation as a normal parenting situation, rather than an abnormal sexual situation, they will receive the message that their aunt breast feeding their cousin is not something to leer about. If they are uncomfortable, perhaps a conversation about the normal parenting situation they're observing and requiring them to behave respectfully is in order. It sounds like the OP just can't believe that their interest in and curiosity about babies is genuine, since they're boys and therefore must have sex on the brain to the exclusion of all other things. I suppose that one track mindedness accounts for why boys over age ten have no interests in anything but sex. Certainly explains why there are no boys on the honor roll, excelling in sports, writing, playing music, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.

Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.

Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.

It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.

My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.

If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.

You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?

My child is female and young, but I have a fair amount of experience with preteen boys. In my experience, the easiest way to ensure that they are respectful of women is to require that they behave respectfully. If you treat this situation as a normal parenting situation, rather than an abnormal sexual situation, they will receive the message that their aunt breast feeding their cousin is not something to leer about. If they are uncomfortable, perhaps a conversation about the normal parenting situation they're observing and requiring them to behave respectfully is in order. It sounds like the OP just can't believe that their interest in and curiosity about babies is genuine, since they're boys and therefore must have sex on the brain to the exclusion of all other things. I suppose that one track mindedness accounts for why boys over age ten have no interests in anything but sex. Certainly explains why there are no boys on the honor roll, excelling in sports, writing, playing music, etc.

+1 from a mom of three teenage boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since it is her house, you should say nothing to her and communicate to the kids that they should excuse themselves and go into another room while she is breastfeeding.

+10000.

[Anonymous]

If you feel weird, avert your gaze. I think it's good for boys that age to know that's what breasts are for. Maybe they will be fathers one day and support their wives breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

You should feel weird that you feel weird about your boys seeing breasts feeding a baby, OP. You have been negatively affected by our society's twisted way of looking at women, and it's probably affecting your boys' attitudes towards women.

This occasion is a good opportunity for them to be around breasts being used as intended, in a normal, healthy way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She almost always nurses with no cover of any kind. When my boys (11 and 13) go over to hang around with their cousins she seems fine with this, although she is pretty much topless. The watch and ask questions about babies and such and she answers their questions, She is absolutely huge so I am wondering if that is what they are really interested in.

I am a breastfeeding mom of several kids, including married adult, teens and tween and newborn. So my guess is that the boys are genuienly interested in the baby stuff at this point. If they were, say, 16 and 14, I might think otherwise...but at their age I think it's still pretty innocent.

That being said, I do choose to cover up around children who are not my own. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I don't know if every kid who ever comes over is used to seeing breastfeeding. My guess is, most are not. But I do happily answer questions about it-the little girls next door had several.

[Anonymous]

NP here - a lot of posters are bringing up the idea that the mom should cover up because the boys may have sexual feelings seeing naked breasts.

My question is - so what?

Boys this age can get aroused by staring at a lamppost. If they are going to go masterbate to the thought of their breast-feeding aunt, they are probably already having sexual thoughts about all sorts of non-kosher people and things. But so long as those thoughts stay in their heads and they behave properly, who cares?