miss the "little kids, little problems" years

[Anonymous]

The teen years were rough, but all 3 of my kids made it through. They got caught drinking, smoking pot, had boyfriends & girlfriends that we didn't approve of, stayed out too late, and were grounded plenty of times. But, they all graduated and we're accepted to the colleges of their choice. They never got into trouble let at school or with the law. And despite the number of times they screamed "I hate you" or "you don't know anything" they have reached the point where they call because they recognize we do love them and we do know. It gets better no matter how rough those years can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. Am I the only one who is truly enjoying her tween/teens?

toddler days were nonstop 24/7.

I enjoy(ed) my teenagers. But I don't deny that handing them the keys and having them drive around gave me gray hair. No, it wasn't the same as letting go of the 2-wheel bike for the first time.

I am truly glad for you that your children seem to be having reasonably happy teen years. Some do, and I don't want to take away from that in the slightest. We are not so lucky, and though I can tell you that my son is still a joy to me, and I like many things about the man he is becoming, this period is not at all easy.

+1 (substituting daughter). Very nicely said.

[Anonymous]

Completely agree with all of this. Our son slammed out of the house last night in anger. Waited and then looked for him for an hour and then his dad came homw and we looked for another hour. His rage scares us into thinking he might do something to himself. When we came home, he was asleep in bed...

I would rather deal with a toddler since they are less likely to take off. Everyone tells me what a wonderful son I have, but right now, not with us.

[Anonymous]

So just got my 16 year to stop smoking pot. He got in major trouble and yesterday - what did we find in his room - pot. I was pissed and told him how disappointed I was. I asked, "...and how did it make you feel??!!!" His response - WONDERFUL!

[Anonymous]

This is so not for the meek.

My son didn't speak to me for the last 36 hours because of something we as parents had to do, but handled really, really poorly. Arghhh.

To 11:$9 and 12:49 -- I haven't had just those experiences, but I can totally relate to that horrible pit you felt grow in your stomach.

[Anonymous]

Yes, when they're little you feel like you're working all the time but you still have control over what's happening. When they're teens, you have much more free time but you realize you have no control over their depression and anxiety and you have limited control over their drinking and drugging. Dd's adolescence was very scary but she did make it through to a fairly mature and stable adulthood. Hang in there, everyone!

[Anonymous]

Give it another 10 to 20 years. They'll be complaining about having to care for their problematic elderly parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know. You just get stinky armpits and angry faces and 'f*ck you, mom' -seriously? and I hate you and can you drop me off a block before we get there because I can't be seen with you and 'YES I'M WEARING THIS' and slammed doors. ~sob~

Yeah, aside from the occasional stink, the rest shouldn't be the norm.

…said the mother of toddlers.

you just don't realize until you experience teenagers first hand. sometimes I wish I never had kids. 2 teenagers, sometimes I really want to just run away and have some peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give it another 10 to 20 years. They'll be complaining about having to care for their problematic elderly parents.

You know, an anonymous forum is just the place to complain so that you can carry on and do what needs to be done.

My parents are dead, so your scenario is not likely to happen.

I respectfully ask you to go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is relevant that the people who are saying it was "fine" are reflecting on it from the past. And the ones who are saying what they will or will not unequivocally tolerate don't even have teens yet. The ones who are in the thick of it--11-17 are the parents that are wailing about the horror--because it is BRUTAL.

I'm in the thick of it, too, but so far my kids haven't given me too much headache. Knock on wood. Of course I know that the potential for turmoil is there with every kid, even good/esponsible kids with loving/involved parents. I'm not letting my guard down but I am enjoying a relatively easy stretch..

[Anonymous]

I think it is relevant that the people who are saying it was "fine" are reflecting on it from the past. And the ones who are saying what they will or will not unequivocally tolerate don't even have teens yet. The ones who are in the thick of it--11-17 are the parents that are wailing about the horror--because it is BRUTAL.

Oh god. I have a 10.5yo is still mostly wonderful. Which is great since he was hell on wheels from 0-5. And just when he entered the semi-sane elementary years, I had another who was even more of a handful. That one is about to turn 6yo, and I was hoping I might get a break soon. But it sounds like it's going to get worse before it gets better....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So just got my 16 year to stop smoking pot. He got in major trouble and yesterday - what did we find in his room - pot. I was pissed and told him how disappointed I was. I asked, "...and how did it make you feel??!!!" His response - WONDERFUL!

Lol they are too good with retort.

As long as they are mentally and physically healthy, I am ok with the rest. My friend's son became depressed and suicidal this year. It has been really rough and I feel truly scared just watching from the sideline.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad I read this. Some days with a 4/7 year old are sooo much easier than the early years, but still feel hard when one is particularly difficult, but I need to keep in mind how much harder it may be when they are teens. Though my 7 year old girl sometimes sounds like a teen

[Anonymous]

Catch a family movie together like " if I stay".


http://m.imdb.com/title/tt1355630/

The point is you need to build relationship bridges from the early years. My son and daughter did gave snappy comments but never to the point they are rude. If my child slammed the door and was in bed 2 hours later while you were looking for him, I would wake him and have a talk. He needs to understand relationships. What would he also seriously do if we were dead eg accident, sickness. A kid taking life for granted may also need some volunteering and maybe a trip outside to the rest if the world. I sent my snappy teen daughter to Sri Lanka church missions working with abandoned kids and orphanages. She was a different child three weeks later....