My Mother is not interested in me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over it, OP. My mother beat me as a child because she said my severe stutter was shaming the family. But my mother is only 5 feet tall and the beatings stopped when I grew bigger than she was. Both my parents preferred my younger brother who never married as he is incapable of feeling love. My son is my mother’s only grandchild and she has no interest in him. Neither does my brother. My father has passed on. I only speak with my mother and brother when absolutely necessary regarding the family trust. My mother’s sleazy lawyer and I hate each other as he’s trying to get me disinherited. Many months go by without my speaking to my mother or my brother. Who cares? I don’t see any big deal here. GET OVER IT! Lead your own life!

Wow, no issues here, you’ve definitely gotten over your own issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over it, OP. My mother beat me as a child because she said my severe stutter was shaming the family. But my mother is only 5 feet tall and the beatings stopped when I grew bigger than she was. Both my parents preferred my younger brother who never married as he is incapable of feeling love. My son is my mother’s only grandchild and she has no interest in him. Neither does my brother. My father has passed on. I only speak with my mother and brother when absolutely necessary regarding the family trust. My mother’s sleazy lawyer and I hate each other as he’s trying to get me disinherited. Many months go by without my speaking to my mother or my brother. Who cares? I don’t see any big deal here. GET OVER IT! Lead your own life!

I just want to say to the poster I am so sorry you had to go through that and what a horrible mother! You mention a trust which makes me wonder-is there a lot of money there? I ask because my mother feels very justified being verbally and emotionally abusive because there is money there. It's like this strange hazing. She keeps threatening to disinherit too which i had to just not play into. I will be in here life the amount I can handle regardless of money. I wonder if it's the lawyer trying to get you disinherited or mom's crazy game to create drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it, OP. My mother beat me as a child because she said my severe stutter was shaming the family. But my mother is only 5 feet tall and the beatings stopped when I grew bigger than she was. Both my parents preferred my younger brother who never married as he is incapable of feeling love. My son is my mother’s only grandchild and she has no interest in him. Neither does my brother. My father has passed on. I only speak with my mother and brother when absolutely necessary regarding the family trust. My mother’s sleazy lawyer and I hate each other as he’s trying to get me disinherited. Many months go by without my speaking to my mother or my brother. Who cares? I don’t see any big deal here. GET OVER IT! Lead your own life!

I just want to say to the poster I am so sorry you had to go through that and what a horrible mother! You mention a trust which makes me wonder-is there a lot of money there? I ask because my mother feels very justified being verbally and emotionally abusive because there is money there. It's like this strange hazing. She keeps threatening to disinherit too which i had to just not play into. I will be in here life the amount I can handle regardless of money. I wonder if it's the lawyer trying to get you disinherited or mom's crazy game to create drama?

The lawyer and my brother are trying to get me disinherited. I’m not sure if my mother is mentally in touch enough to have much to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it, OP. My mother beat me as a child because she said my severe stutter was shaming the family. But my mother is only 5 feet tall and the beatings stopped when I grew bigger than she was. Both my parents preferred my younger brother who never married as he is incapable of feeling love. My son is my mother’s only grandchild and she has no interest in him. Neither does my brother. My father has passed on. I only speak with my mother and brother when absolutely necessary regarding the family trust. My mother’s sleazy lawyer and I hate each other as he’s trying to get me disinherited. Many months go by without my speaking to my mother or my brother. Who cares? I don’t see any big deal here. GET OVER IT! Lead your own life!

I just want to say to the poster I am so sorry you had to go through that and what a horrible mother! You mention a trust which makes me wonder-is there a lot of money there? I ask because my mother feels very justified being verbally and emotionally abusive because there is money there. It's like this strange hazing. She keeps threatening to disinherit too which i had to just not play into. I will be in here life the amount I can handle regardless of money. I wonder if it's the lawyer trying to get you disinherited or mom's crazy game to create drama?

The lawyer and my brother are trying to get me disinherited. I’m not sure if my mother is mentally in touch enough to have much to do with it.

Thank you for being sorry but save your sympathy for someone who needs it. I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Niger, the world’s poorest country, for two years. That was 1980 to 1982, before computers or cell phones. No internet back then. It was so primitive they didn’t even have landline phones. I was completely cut off from civilization for two years. I came home to an America I didn’t even recognize. The poor who live in Niger and are being killed off by Al Qaeda deserve your sympathy. My problems are First World problems. As far as the problems and beatings I had growing up, so what? That was decades ago. It’s got nothing to do with my life now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 40, married with no children (childless but not by choice). My sister (who has two small children) is my mother's favorite. While my husband and I are both middle class professionals, my sister and her husband are more successful financially. My sister is much more like my mother than I am-both are very extroverted and tend to be status seeking while I am an introvert and work in the human services field. Neither my mother or my sister has had mental health issues-I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. My father lives out of state and has not really been a part of my sister or my live's since my parents divorced when we were kids. I have a decent relationship with my sister at this point-we are very different people but have come to accept one another plus I am close with her kids. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about my Mom.

My mother has no interest in me or my life and hasn't for a long time. I almost always have to be the one to initiate contact with her and if I don't we can go weeks without talking. I have tried multiple times as an adult to strengthen the relationship but haven't been successful. I have directly talked about my concerns with her but she becomes very dismissive and defensive and accuses me of imagining things. I have talked about this with my sister but as my sister has a much better relationship with my mother her experience is different-she understands where I am coming from but doesn't really have any suggestions as to how to handle it. My husband agrees with me about my mother-he also sees the lack of interest-so I know it's not just something I've imagined. I'm sure that some of the lack of interest is because I don't have children but I think some of it is because she doesn't really value me as a person. In spite of counseling (I'm not in it now but have been before), I have never really gotten to a place where I can accept that this is the way it is...it hurts and I wish I could change it. I get tired of having to fake that everything is okay at family gatherings. This is going to sound pathetic but when I hear that Bonnie Rait song "I Can't Make You Love Me" it makes me think of my Mom.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

Get professional help and stop wallowing in self pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40, married with no children (childless but not by choice). My sister (who has two small children) is my mother's favorite. While my husband and I are both middle class professionals, my sister and her husband are more successful financially. My sister is much more like my mother than I am-both are very extroverted and tend to be status seeking while I am an introvert and work in the human services field. Neither my mother or my sister has had mental health issues-I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. My father lives out of state and has not really been a part of my sister or my live's since my parents divorced when we were kids. I have a decent relationship with my sister at this point-we are very different people but have come to accept one another plus I am close with her kids. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about my Mom.

My mother has no interest in me or my life and hasn't for a long time. I almost always have to be the one to initiate contact with her and if I don't we can go weeks without talking. I have tried multiple times as an adult to strengthen the relationship but haven't been successful. I have directly talked about my concerns with her but she becomes very dismissive and defensive and accuses me of imagining things. I have talked about this with my sister but as my sister has a much better relationship with my mother her experience is different-she understands where I am coming from but doesn't really have any suggestions as to how to handle it. My husband agrees with me about my mother-he also sees the lack of interest-so I know it's not just something I've imagined. I'm sure that some of the lack of interest is because I don't have children but I think some of it is because she doesn't really value me as a person. In spite of counseling (I'm not in it now but have been before), I have never really gotten to a place where I can accept that this is the way it is...it hurts and I wish I could change it. I get tired of having to fake that everything is okay at family gatherings. This is going to sound pathetic but when I hear that Bonnie Rait song "I Can't Make You Love Me" it makes me think of my Mom.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

Get professional help and stop wallowing in self pity.

This is the PP whose mother beat him for stuttering and doesn’t speak to me. I agree. GET OVER IT. You’re a big boy now. WHO CARES? Get on with your life.