Any suggestions as how to convince my fcps principal to change my child's home room class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying to let it go. Learning opportunities come in different forms. Sometimes it's about academics, sometimes it's about resilience and adapting. Hovering over ever aspect of your child's school life isn't going to be very helpful to your child in the long term.

Children in schools are virtually powerless. The words resilience and adpating suggest children individually have the rights and powers to negotiate mutually satisfying solutions with their teachers. This is untrue, teachers hold all the cards and have all the power. Since time and memoriam teachers have had their pets/favorites and they have had their goats/the unflavored whom they periodically give a good kick.

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student.

The idea of a powerless student adapting or developing resiliency by withstanding an unpleasant environment with an all-powerful teacher is pure nonsense and it also has the potential for long range disastrous results.

Any principal worth their salt would willingly make this small adjustment and at the same time put this kid on their radar screen as individual who may need a little more personalized care. Why not these are school designed to teach and nurture the growth of children, not factories stamping out uniform aluminum cans.

College kids add and drop classes all the time. Adults change jobs several times during their working careers. They all have reasons for choices they make and the do so without being told they need to adapt or be resilient enough to suffer through unpleasant situations. If you live your life making choices and making changes, why would you deny thiese rights to a powerless child?

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not. In case it's not sarcasm...

They're children. They will be fine. Unless your child is special needs and needs to be in a considerably altered structure, your kid will be fine. "Unpleasantness" is a good thing, in my opinion. That's life. Better to learn how to deal with it when you're a child, than to be an adult and have underdeveloped life skills.

Or maybe just homeschool your kid?

Just being a child doesn't mean being in a crappy situation will be fine.

I agree with what the quoted poster wrote. Kids don't have the same options. It's up to parents to stick up for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying to let it go. Learning opportunities come in different forms. Sometimes it's about academics, sometimes it's about resilience and adapting. Hovering over ever aspect of your child's school life isn't going to be very helpful to your child in the long term.

Children in schools are virtually powerless. The words resilience and adpating suggest children individually have the rights and powers to negotiate mutually satisfying solutions with their teachers. This is untrue, teachers hold all the cards and have all the power. Since time and memoriam teachers have had their pets/favorites and they have had their goats/the unflavored whom they periodically give a good kick.

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student.

The idea of a powerless student adapting or developing resiliency by withstanding an unpleasant environment with an all-powerful teacher is pure nonsense and it also has the potential for long range disastrous results.

Any principal worth their salt would willingly make this small adjustment and at the same time put this kid on their radar screen as individual who may need a little more personalized care. Why not these are school designed to teach and nurture the growth of children, not factories stamping out uniform aluminum cans.

College kids add and drop classes all the time. Adults change jobs several times during their working careers. They all have reasons for choices they make and the do so without being told they need to adapt or be resilient enough to suffer through unpleasant situations. If you live your life making choices and making changes, why would you deny thiese rights to a powerless child?

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not. In case it's not sarcasm...

They're children. They will be fine. Unless your child is special needs and needs to be in a considerably altered structure, your kid will be fine. "Unpleasantness" is a good thing, in my opinion. That's life. Better to learn how to deal with it when you're a child, than to be an adult and have underdeveloped life skills.

Or maybe just homeschool your kid?

Just being a child doesn't mean being in a crappy situation will be fine.

I agree with what the quoted poster wrote. Kids don't have the same options. It's up to parents to stick up for their kids.

Not really, and these aren't mutually exclusive circumstances. It's up to parents to TEACH their kids how to deal with situations that may be crappy. That's life. Education is not just about books and facts, but about giving your children life skills to learn with the real world. This isn't something you learn from a book, or by keeping your children in comfortable situations. "Crappy situations" (barring abuse or something really horrific) are unavoidable in life, and are a healthy, necessary part of childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying to let it go. Learning opportunities come in different forms. Sometimes it's about academics, sometimes it's about resilience and adapting. Hovering over ever aspect of your child's school life isn't going to be very helpful to your child in the long term.

Children in schools are virtually powerless. The words resilience and adpating suggest children individually have the rights and powers to negotiate mutually satisfying solutions with their teachers. This is untrue, teachers hold all the cards and have all the power. Since time and memoriam teachers have had their pets/favorites and they have had their goats/the unflavored whom they periodically give a good kick.

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student.

The idea of a powerless student adapting or developing resiliency by withstanding an unpleasant environment with an all-powerful teacher is pure nonsense and it also has the potential for long range disastrous results.

Any principal worth their salt would willingly make this small adjustment and at the same time put this kid on their radar screen as individual who may need a little more personalized care. Why not these are school designed to teach and nurture the growth of children, not factories stamping out uniform aluminum cans.

College kids add and drop classes all the time. Adults change jobs several times during their working careers. They all have reasons for choices they make and the do so without being told they need to adapt or be resilient enough to suffer through unpleasant situations. If you live your life making choices and making changes, why would you deny thiese rights to a powerless child?

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not. In case it's not sarcasm...

They're children. They will be fine. Unless your child is special needs and needs to be in a considerably altered structure, your kid will be fine. "Unpleasantness" is a good thing, in my opinion. That's life. Better to learn how to deal with it when you're a child, than to be an adult and have underdeveloped life skills.

Or maybe just homeschool your kid?

Just being a child doesn't mean being in a crappy situation will be fine.

I agree with what the quoted poster wrote. Kids don't have the same options. It's up to parents to stick up for their kids.

Not really, and these aren't mutually exclusive circumstances. It's up to parents to TEACH their kids how to deal with situations that may be crappy. That's life. Education is not just about books and facts, but about giving your children life skills to learn with the real world. This isn't something you learn from a book, or by keeping your children in comfortable situations. "Crappy situations" (barring abuse or something really horrific) are unavoidable in life, and are a healthy, necessary part of childhood.

How about you can not stick up for your children and leave them in scrappy situations, and let OP do what she thinks is best for her child.

[Anonymous]

I meant "crappy" but scrappy would work too. Thanks auto correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying to let it go. Learning opportunities come in different forms. Sometimes it's about academics, sometimes it's about resilience and adapting. Hovering over ever aspect of your child's school life isn't going to be very helpful to your child in the long term.

Children in schools are virtually powerless. The words resilience and adpating suggest children individually have the rights and powers to negotiate mutually satisfying solutions with their teachers. This is untrue, teachers hold all the cards and have all the power. Since time and memoriam teachers have had their pets/favorites and they have had their goats/the unflavored whom they periodically give a good kick.

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student.

The idea of a powerless student adapting or developing resiliency by withstanding an unpleasant environment with an all-powerful teacher is pure nonsense and it also has the potential for long range disastrous results.

Any principal worth their salt would willingly make this small adjustment and at the same time put this kid on their radar screen as individual who may need a little more personalized care. Why not these are school designed to teach and nurture the growth of children, not factories stamping out uniform aluminum cans.

College kids add and drop classes all the time. Adults change jobs several times during their working careers. They all have reasons for choices they make and the do so without being told they need to adapt or be resilient enough to suffer through unpleasant situations. If you live your life making choices and making changes, why would you deny thiese rights to a powerless child?

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not. In case it's not sarcasm...

They're children. They will be fine. Unless your child is special needs and needs to be in a considerably altered structure, your kid will be fine. "Unpleasantness" is a good thing, in my opinion. That's life. Better to learn how to deal with it when you're a child, than to be an adult and have underdeveloped life skills.

Or maybe just homeschool your kid?

Just being a child doesn't mean being in a crappy situation will be fine.

I agree with what the quoted poster wrote. Kids don't have the same options. It's up to parents to stick up for their kids.

Not really, and these aren't mutually exclusive circumstances. It's up to parents to TEACH their kids how to deal with situations that may be crappy. That's life. Education is not just about books and facts, but about giving your children life skills to learn with the real world. This isn't something you learn from a book, or by keeping your children in comfortable situations. "Crappy situations" (barring abuse or something really horrific) are unavoidable in life, and are a healthy, necessary part of childhood.

How about you can not stick up for your children and leave them in scrappy situations, and let OP do what she thinks is best for her child.

Because you can't (and shouldn't) try and create a bubble for your child, devoid of crappy situations. I understand many parents think the loving thing to do, is to shelter their child always. But that's really not the best thing a parent can do. The best thing, is to help your child learn to adapt, deal, and persevere through crappy situations. Dealing with (benign crap) like a less than ideal teacher now, will make other things SO MUCH easier when they're older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go, OP. This is life. Your child is at a public school, so you're not paying for any special treatment, which barring some endangerment to your child (or very specific learning issues which should have been documented on the parent referral form at the end of last year )is what you're asking for. One of my sons got a teacher everyone griped about one year and did perfectly fine with her. It helped that I'd taught him to make his own decisions about people and he tried to go in with an open mind.

To all the posters who say push for a change, I am so happy I'm not your child. You are teaching them the wrong lessons. In school, as in life, you need to learn to get along and make do sometimes. It's never too early to start. Particulary, here in the NOVA bubble. I've got a child in college now and see some of the kids who had mommy and daddy smoothing the road for them and never having faith that they could handle things on their own. It's not pretty.

Parents with standard-issue kids are very happy to spout platitudes about how character-building it can be for other children to be given a full opportunity to fail. Please take your smug bitchiness elsewhere.

No one said anything about standard issue kids. Mine have had issues of all sorts and had less than perfect teachers and teachers who didn't get or even disliked them. But somehow they survived without me big-footing it in there to make things the way I thought would be ideal.

btw, if you would reread my message you would see that I made a specific exception for parents who feel their children are endangered, or whose kids have special learning issues.

but overall I really think in most cases parents do their kids a disservice by immediately pushing for a teacher change. very often, the kid, or the teacher may surprise you and as the principal who responded here noted there may be other reasons your child was put in a specific class. In the end, of course, people are free to do what they want.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should make your concerns known to the school and teacher at the beginning of the year about your child, but I wouldn't ask for a change till at least a couple of months in if things are not going well at that time.

[Anonymous]

What about if a 3rd grade teacher is not very effective AND the class size is huge (33)? Is that reason enough to want to change classes or schools? Or is there some lesson to be learned there? I don't understand all of these non-academic lessons learned arguments. By settling for this less than ideal situation, isn't there a significant trade off? The kids will learn these great life lessons, but at the expense of their academics. The cost of this lesson seems too great. My kids will learn hard life lessons in many different settings throughout life, but I refuse to sit back and let it be in this crucial setting, especially at an age where his academic foundation is being formed. You guys are delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about if a 3rd grade teacher is not very effective AND the class size is huge (33)? Is that reason enough to want to change classes or schools? Or is there some lesson to be learned there? I don't understand all of these non-academic lessons learned arguments. By settling for this less than ideal situation, isn't there a significant trade off? The kids will learn these great life lessons, but at the expense of their academics. The cost of this lesson seems too great. My kids will learn hard life lessons in many different settings throughout life, but I refuse to sit back and let it be in this crucial setting, especially at an age where his academic foundation is being formed. You guys are delusional.

I think a class of 33 is a reason to want to change classes, but I don't think it is a reason why a request to do so should be granted.

As far as effectiveness, how do you know the teacher is not effective? Is it from prior experience with this teacher? Word from other parents? What does "not very effective" mean and look like? Is the teacher ineffective with all students? If so, then that falls into the hands of the administration.

[Anonymous]

Send your kid to private school or homeschool. If you choose to send your kid to tuition-free public schools, you can expect to put up with not having your every wish granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send your kid to private school or homeschool. If you choose to send your kid to tuition-free public schools, you can expect to put up with not having your every wish granted.

Isn't there a difference between having a reasonable expectations considered and having your every wish granted?

It's this knee-jerk, "put up or shut up" attitude that does indeed lead many to conclude privates or homeschooling are their only viable options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send your kid to private school or homeschool. If you choose to send your kid to tuition-free public schools, you can expect to put up with not having your every wish granted.

Isn't there a difference between having a reasonable expectations considered and having your every wish granted?

It's this knee-jerk, "put up or shut up" attitude that does indeed lead many to conclude privates or homeschooling are their only viable options.

Not pp, but since OP hasn't specified any horrible conditions, it seems pretty safe to bet that OP is probably the one with UNreasonable expectations. It sounds like OP might be the one having knee-jerk reactions, instead of allowing her child to continue on with their assigned teacher, try it out, try and work through it, and at least give it a shot.

[Anonymous]

I always say 'it's good training for bad bosses in their future'.

Everyone has to go through it at some point. You can't micromanage their entire life.

I would wait for a problem before saying anything at all.

Personally, some of the teachers everyone doesn't like were some of the best teachers my kids had and vice versa.

I also found the popular teachers tend to get all if the demanding parents who have ill-behaved kids. Like parent, like kid.

I leave it up to the school.

I play my cards close to my chest and saving my blow up when it is truly justified. Oldest is in third grade and I haven't had to complain once yet. I know the Principal well and if that time ever comes at least she will take it seriously and know I'm not just a chronic PIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Principal here: OP, your best bet is to first attempt to understand why the decision was made. Go in and ask what the thinking was in placing your child in that class. There are many factors that go into placing a student, and as a principal I obviously have a lot more information about the teachers because I see them with kids every day. Give the principal a chance to share his/her thinking before demanding a change. You may have a perception that this teacher is not a good fit for your kid, when in fact, there may be many other examples that point to this placement being the best for your kid.

new poster here. Or, this placement may have been made because other parents have demanded that certain students NOT be placed together in a home room class, ever. The principal and teachers are backed into a corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always say 'it's good training for bad bosses in their future'.

Everyone has to go through it at some point. You can't micromanage their entire life.

I would wait for a problem before saying anything at all.

Personally, some of the teachers everyone doesn't like were some of the best teachers my kids had and vice versa.

I also found the popular teachers tend to get all if the demanding parents who have ill-behaved kids. Like parent, like kid.

I leave it up to the school.

I play my cards close to my chest and saving my blow up when it is truly justified. Oldest is in third grade and I haven't had to complain once yet. I know the Principal well and if that time ever comes at least she will take it seriously and know I'm not just a chronic PIA.

If your oldest is only in third grade, you don't know what may be in store for you later. Keep your fingers crossed.