Any suggestions as how to convince my fcps principal to change my child's home room class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying to let it go. Learning opportunities come in different forms. Sometimes it's about academics, sometimes it's about resilience and adapting. Hovering over ever aspect of your child's school life isn't going to be very helpful to your child in the long term.

Children in schools are virtually powerless. The words resilience and adpating suggest children individually have the rights and powers to negotiate mutually satisfying solutions with their teachers. This is untrue, teachers hold all the cards and have all the power. Since time and memoriam teachers have had their pets/favorites and they have had their goats/the unflavored whom they periodically give a good kick.

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student.

The idea of a powerless student adapting or developing resiliency by withstanding an unpleasant environment with an all-powerful teacher is pure nonsense and it also has the potential for long range disastrous results.

Any principal worth their salt would willingly make this small adjustment and at the same time put this kid on their radar screen as individual who may need a little more personalized care. Why not these are school designed to teach and nurture the growth of children, not factories stamping out uniform aluminum cans.

College kids add and drop classes all the time. Adults change jobs several times during their working careers. They all have reasons for choices they make and the do so without being told they need to adapt or be resilient enough to suffer through unpleasant situations. If you live your life making choices and making changes, why would you deny thiese rights to a powerless child?

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not. In case it's not sarcasm...

They're children. They will be fine. Unless your child is special needs and needs to be in a considerably altered structure, your kid will be fine. "Unpleasantness" is a good thing, in my opinion. That's life. Better to learn how to deal with it when you're a child, than to be an adult and have underdeveloped life skills.

Or maybe just homeschool your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: my dad gave me great advice that is applicable here:

Duck your head when running under the helicopter blades. Whoppa whoppa whoppa

(He flew helicopters in Viet Nam)

If you are going to be a helicopter parent, brace yourself. Duck.

Incredibly stupid advice.

[Anonymous]

No .... maybe they should just move the kid to a different classroom. Children are powerless. The principal needs to change the classroom assignment or to change the dynamic with the teacher which is creating an unpleasant learning environment for the kid.

Changing the classroom assignment would be much easier and much less personal for all parties involved.

[Anonymous]

It would be mayhem if they started letting parents switch their child's teacher before school starts. One PP said that she switched her child's teacher 2 months in, after trying to make it work. Try to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demand a change. Do whatever it takes,

Don't worry about what others think or say if you really believe if will impact your child's year in school. There are plenty of parents before you who have done the same and there will be plenty who come after you who do it to.

Have you actually managed to switch teachers? I have 3 kids ranging in age from 14 to 10 (my youngest is in 5th grade). I have never known a child to have switched classroom assignments, and I know a handful of parents who have tried. My kids are in a small elementary, so it would be very easy to know if someone switched. 2 cases in particular seemed like a good case could be made, but those kids didn't get moved-- not after begging, threatening to bring in lawyers, etc.

Rather than waste energy trying to get an assignment change, I would sit down with the teacher and come up with strategies to help your kid in that particular class.

Some teachers will not work with parents on "strategies." They are lazy, unresponsive, and only interested in their own approach.

We also have three kids and we did not encounter such a teacher until one of our kids was 15, but it was an eye-opener to learn that one of the top-rated schools in the county basically forced parents to raise a ruckus, rather than replace a teacher whom we were told privately generated more complaints every year than all the other teachers in the school combined.

So, yes, sit down and try, but don't assume the teacher will necessarily make an effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's teacher is someone I know pretty well because he is a member of an organization I run. He's going to be a horrendous fit for my kid. Seriously, this guy's general demeanor and communication methods are going to push every button my kid has. And I'm doing nothing. I know other parents who have had their kids in his class, who all report that yes, he's a PITA but he's also a very good teacher. And that's what he's there to do, teach my kid. So my kid will have to deal with it. Sometimes in life you are forced to deal with someone who makes you nuts. Part of growing up is learning to navigate that.

They would probably move your child if you state the "friendship" as an issue. Whether that is your personal friendship or your child's perception of the teacher as a family friend. Sometimes children in a class with a teacher who is also a family friend can, in some cases, be a conflict. Many times a child will not behave well for someone who they spend family social time with because the child may not give them the same "authority figure" respect needed in a teacher/student relationship.

[Anonymous]

Let it go, OP. This is life. Your child is at a public school, so you're not paying for any special treatment, which barring some endangerment to your child (or very specific learning issues which should have been documented on the parent referral form at the end of last year )is what you're asking for. One of my sons got a teacher everyone griped about one year and did perfectly fine with her. It helped that I'd taught him to make his own decisions about people and he tried to go in with an open mind.

To all the posters who say push for a change, I am so happy I'm not your child. You are teaching them the wrong lessons. In school, as in life, you need to learn to get along and make do sometimes. It's never too early to start. Particulary, here in the NOVA bubble. I've got a child in college now and see some of the kids who had mommy and daddy smoothing the road for them and never having faith that they could handle things on their own. It's not pretty.

[Anonymous]

We will encounter many people in our lives who are not a good fit for us. It's part of life for your Snowflake to learn to deal with this fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go, OP. This is life. Your child is at a public school, so you're not paying for any special treatment, which barring some endangerment to your child (or very specific learning issues which should have been documented on the parent referral form at the end of last year )is what you're asking for. One of my sons got a teacher everyone griped about one year and did perfectly fine with her. It helped that I'd taught him to make his own decisions about people and he tried to go in with an open mind.

To all the posters who say push for a change, I am so happy I'm not your child. You are teaching them the wrong lessons. In school, as in life, you need to learn to get along and make do sometimes. It's never too early to start. Particulary, here in the NOVA bubble. I've got a child in college now and see some of the kids who had mommy and daddy smoothing the road for them and never having faith that they could handle things on their own. It's not pretty.

Parents with standard-issue kids are very happy to spout platitudes about how character-building it can be for other children to be given a full opportunity to fail. Please take your smug bitchiness elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others--let it go. If your child's needs are that out of the ordinary, should they be in a special needs class? Home schooled? Alternative school?

Life will hand us many types of people we'll have to learn to work with. This is a learning opportunity, not an "opportunity to fail."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We will encounter many people in our lives who are not a good fit for us. It's part of life for your Snowflake to learn to deal with this fact.

You know what and this probably gives you great satisfaction, but some kids are delicate and to denigrate them is wrong. Your little Johnny maybe the star of his seven year olds travel soccer team and it doesn't impress me one bit. I wish Johnny well, but because he is popular at seven gives you no true sense of how happy he'll be at age 30. Why would it bother you so if my child changed classrooms?

Although, Johnny is successful, my child has talents because of his/her sensitive nature in which Johnny may never understand. You can keep Johnny and all of his little boy bravado and I'll keep my sensitive snowflake.

It's a long difficult journey. We don't know what paths they'll take. We can only do the best we know how with the information we possess today.

[Anonymous]

Telling a kid to adapt to an unsuitable learning environment is nothing more than telling them they have no power and no control over their lives during that potion of every school day. Children who are out-of-favor with their teachers are much more likely to bullies by other students who feel they are protecting the teacher or [b]that the teacher has simply declared open-season on the out-of-favor student. [/b]

I'm 8:52 from the previous page whose child was moved. The bolded is exactly what happened to my DD. What it boiled down to was that the teacher simply did not like her, other kids picked up on it, and she was treated incredibly cruelly by a several boys in her class. We started by simply asking the teacher to move her to a different table (away from the boys who were harassing her) and he refused to even try that. Got the counselor involved and he did move her, and it helped some. But at this point it was clear through virtually every communication that he had it in for her. It got escalated to the principal and the principal offered her a different placement before I could even ask for it. But it took several months, including several meetings with the teacher, counselor, and finally getting the principal involved. Once she was in another class, all the "issues" the teacher used to e-mail us about on a weekly basis miraculously vanished.

What kills me is that this teacher is beloved by many. But I found out later that there were many people, particularly people who had children with special needs, who hated him. He disliked students with 504s and IEPs because they were "too much trouble", he "didn't believe in" their diagnosis, and he was going to "tough their issues" out of them. He was also popular with a lot of students because he was too lazy to assign homework or grade it. Or to do much classroom management. His class was a zoo.

He was the worst we've ever encountered, but I can tell you there are MANY teachers out there who are mean, cruel, and play favorites. I certainly wouldn't suggest a parent ask for a different placement because of a minor personality conflict. But there are many cases where there are teachers who simply shouldn't be teaching IMO. For a kid who already has a strong self esteem, they may do OK. But for a kid who is already fragile, as a PP said, these teachers can be disastrous and it can take months or years to undo the damage.

And I'm sure people will flame me and tell me to tell my special snowflake to suck it up. I just hope you never have to witness the emotional damage this kind of thing can do in your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Open. No one will agree here on this board. You have to do what is right in your gut. If there is a real problem all I can say is you are your child advocate and must do what is right for them.

[Anonymous]

I think if you're going to have any chance of getting this changed, you need to be able to make a compelling argument that couldn't be made by half the class. There has to be a good reason to make an exception for you, and not for every other parent who is unhappy with the teacher as well, and "learning style" won't usually cut it. Do you have anything else to fall back on?

[Anonymous]

Principal here: OP, your best bet is to first attempt to understand why the decision was made. Go in and ask what the thinking was in placing your child in that class. There are many factors that go into placing a student, and as a principal I obviously have a lot more information about the teachers because I see them with kids every day. Give the principal a chance to share his/her thinking before demanding a change. You may have a perception that this teacher is not a good fit for your kid, when in fact, there may be many other examples that point to this placement being the best for your kid.