Advice needed re. 8-yr old still in nighttime pull-ups
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Anonymous
Are you kidding? If I didn't take pull-ups off my toddler, she would still be comfortably peeing into them. The only way I could potty train her was to take pull-ups off. Yes, I had to change the sheets several times in the middle of the night. But it's the only way to go. When you take them off, accidents become very unpleasant and the child makes an effort to avoid them. |
Anonymous
| Geez - many many many kids are late bedwetters due to being heavy sleepers. This is why the alarms work, they train brains to learn to read signals to wake up from deep sleep. But even the alarms are not designed for under age 6 or 7 so 8 is not far off. Does not have to be a medical reason, and is not due to bad parenting. |
Anonymous
Of course, since it worked for your DD, it must work for everyone. 
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Anonymous
I know for a fact, from my own personal experience, that it's not the only way to go. |
Anonymous
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Of course, since it worked for your DD, it must work for everyone.
+1000 I am sure OP is smart enough not to listen to those who are blaming her. Just because your child/children did something easily does not mean it is easy for everyone. An 8 year old does not want to wear pullup. An 8 year old wants to sleep at his friends house. An 8 year old knows his younger sister is doing something before him. My ped was not concerned at 8 (no medical issues) but we used an alarm due to cub scout camp. It worked very well for us. My #2 was trained years before #1. |
Anonymous
+1000 I am sure OP is smart enough not to listen to those who are blaming her. Just because your child/children did something easily does not mean it is easy for everyone. An 8 year old does not want to wear pullup. An 8 year old wants to sleep at his friends house. An 8 year old knows his younger sister is doing something before him. My ped was not concerned at 8 (no medical issues) but we used an alarm due to cub scout camp. It worked very well for us. My #2 was trained years before #1. It's not easy for anyone, but everyone goes through this. You're enabler because your are making it comfortable for him to pee and continue sleeping, you're removing the consequences of his behavior that he should learn on his own. I would not go in pull ups to a friend's house - he'll become a laughing stock at school |
Anonymous
| And he won't become a laughing stock when he pees in his friend's bed? |
Anonymous
No, not everyone goes through this. I didn't go through this with my oldest or my middle child. We've been through it with my youngest but after consulting with our pediatrician and a urologist, we learned DS had constipation - much as other PPs have noted. It took a long time for us to discover this because DS had regular bowel movements and there was no mass present on physical examination. It was only discovered through an X-ray. "Constipation" in this case is not an issue with defecation, it's have a fecal mass in the intestines that subsequently pushes on the bladder - much like a baby pushes on the bladder of a pregnant woman. I'm so very glad we didn't give him 'consequences' for something that wasn't his fault and he had no control over. What horrible parenting that would be! Our urologist recommended the book "It's No Accident" http://itsnoaccident.net/. Reading it was revelatory. This is not an uncommon issue but not well understood by many medical providers. If I remember correctly, about 90% of the kids referred to the study for bedwetting had a fecal mass in the intestines - undiagnosed constipation. We followed the protocol in the book for the clean out regime and within 5 days, DS was dry. It was stunning. I have no idea why your DC went through this but you should have enough life experience by now to know that other people have different experiences. I'm so very glad we didn't blame him or give him consequences for his medical condition. |
Anonymous
| I don't see the relation between constipation and bed wetting. So what if the bladder is pushed? The child has to learn to wake up, whether the bladder is full or pushed. |
Anonymous
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My 12 still wets the bed. We've done alarms, Miralax, as well as Rx medication (which after taking the largest recommend does still didn't stop the bed wetting.) Most recent check up last week we again spoke with the Dr who said that there are just some outliers, and that our child may just be one of them. Two older children who did not have this issue at all, so not sure what parenting has to do with any of this. I also do know that both DH and I have brothers that wet their beds well in to teen years. (Believe me, neither one of us had permissive parents!) There absolutely is a genetic component to this. I also do know 12 yo is mortified about this, and can not do sleep overs/ sleep away camps. Otherwise, completely healthy an active kid.
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Anonymous
| I don't think there is anything "abnormal" (in the pejorative sense) about an 8 year old occasionally wetting the bed. I do think it is unusual for an 8 year old to have a soaking wet pullup every night, and that you should have him re-evaluated for a medical constipation issue since it sounds like you had the eval done a while back. |
Anonymous
Just because you don't 'see the relation' doesn't mean that it's not there. One (just one) of the issues with constipation/fecal load is that the body loses its ability to sense the need to urinate. If you don't feel the full bladder and you don't feel an urge to pee, you end up wetting yourself because the body will, at some point, expel the urine. How, pray tell, do you expect someone to learn to wake up to pee if they don't ever feel the urge to pee? |