I was given a foodie gift by a foodie and I'm not one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You started opening that thin around lunch and JUST NOW got it open at 1:00 AM???

That is either complete perfection in icompetance or absolutely brilliant tenacity.

OP here. To answer a few questions, I tried to open it around lunchtime and couldn't. So I put it back and then when online, posting to ask if there was some magic trick to opening these types of jars since I'd never done it before. (For example, if you're opening a jar of Ragu or Welch's, you put a rubberband around the cover before twisting and that always opens the jar.) Right before I was about to go to bed, I decided to try again with the butter knife and it worked. So I posted about it.

I'm 38, and no, don't own any sort of can opener. I simply don't eat anything that requires one. It's been that was since I was 20 and moved out of my parents' house and 18 years later I'm still doing fine without one.

Maybe jarred jam that someone made themselves is not a "foodie" thing. Perhaps I expressed it that way because the friend who gave it to me IS a foodie. I am confident that if she's supposed to boil the jam (or the jar?) before giving it to me, she did. I am not worried about it killing me.

Can we just talk about how you don't own a can opener. Have you never made a dessert with sweetened condensed milk? Refried beans during taco night? Or tomato paste? Not even tuna fish? How is this possible? You obviously aren't against processed food- Ragu and Welch's.

Sure, we can talk about it. No, I've never made a dessert with sweetened condensed milk. I make desserts that come from boxes so the types of things I add are milk, water, oil, egg, etc. I don't like tacos OR beans. Never use tomato paste. I don't like tuna fish. Really, the need never arises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a mean bunch of jerks on this thread.

I haven't posted yet, but I am loving this thread. Between someone who's never seen a canning jar and someone who boils all her canned goods after opening them...this thread is priceless.

[Anonymous]

Don't you have to open tinned tomatoes? Do you always use fresh tomatoes to make sauce? So confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Can we just talk about how you don't own a can opener. Have you never made a dessert with sweetened condensed milk? Refried beans during taco night? Or tomato paste? Not even tuna fish? How is this possible? You obviously aren't against processed food- Ragu and Welch's.

I'm guessing French Laundry doesn't have a can opener on their premises. It's well known that they don't have a walk in refrigerator as most restaurants do because everything comes in fresh that day. Not having something does not equate to incompetence. Assuming things does make for something though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you have to open tinned tomatoes? Do you always use fresh tomatoes to make sauce? So confused.

She addressed this with the Rague jar & rubber band comment.

[Anonymous]

Wait, OP, are you the picky eater that was invited to the foodie friend's house for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, OP, are you the picky eater that was invited to the foodie friend's house for dinner?

Yes, but the foodie friend who gave me this jar of jam is a different person.

[Anonymous]

Ah ha! I knew it was you! When you said you hate tacos and make desserts from a box, a lightbulb went on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah ha! I knew it was you! When you said you hate tacos and make desserts from a box, a lightbulb went on.

OMG!! You are good! I remember that thread. Also, OP, I never eat anything canned that friends give me. I don't trust them. My own sister makes jam but she is flighty so I don't eat it.

[Anonymous]

HAHA this thread is gold.

Canned goods = gross, but cakes from a box = chic!

Also, OP, it REALLY is sad you don't have a can opener at 38. I've had one since I moved out of my parents' house. Then again, I'm "only" 31 and know how to open a mason jar/home canned goods, so I guess I'm an "early bloomer" to someone like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HAHA this thread is gold.

Canned goods = gross, but cakes from a box = chic!

Also, OP, it REALLY is sad you don't have a can opener at 38. I've had one since I moved out of my parents' house. Then again, I'm "only" 31 and know how to open a mason jar/home canned goods, so I guess I'm an "early bloomer" to someone like you.

I disagree that it's sad I don't have a can opener. If I had a need for one, I'd buy one. IMO, it would be sad if I:
a. had things I had no need for
b. ran out to get something because someone on the internet tried to imply they're better than I am for having one and felt the need to keep up an anonymous Jones.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am begging you to start an anthology of your posts. Between being picky at a foodie's house (HILARIOUS) and this thread, you are so entertaining. Please start another foodie thread. About anything. We should all do a kickstarter to send OP to a Cityzen chef's table and then post about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Can we just talk about how you don't own a can opener. Have you never made a dessert with sweetened condensed milk? Refried beans during taco night? Or tomato paste? Not even tuna fish? How is this possible? You obviously aren't against processed food- Ragu and Welch's.

I'm guessing French Laundry doesn't have a can opener on their premises. It's well known that they don't have a walk in refrigerator as most restaurants do because everything comes in fresh that day. Not having something does not equate to incompetence. Assuming things does make for something though.

Haha! This is so funny. I'm guessing super fresh cooking not the reason OP doesn't have a can opener. She eats cake from mixes and Ragu (the horror!). I did not realize she was OP of the dinner guest thread but it makes sense now.

[Anonymous]

I love this thread. Good for you, OP. It's nice to see someone stand up for themselves to all of these DCUM bullies.

And, having never even heard of boiling canned products but being a big fan of homemade jams from places I visit, I'm really glad I haven't died from lack of boiling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HAHA this thread is gold.

Canned goods = gross, but cakes from a box = chic!

Also, OP, it REALLY is sad you don't have a can opener at 38. I've had one since I moved out of my parents' house. Then again, I'm "only" 31 and know how to open a mason jar/home canned goods, so I guess I'm an "early bloomer" to someone like you.

I disagree that it's sad I don't have a can opener. If I had a need for one, I'd buy one. IMO, it would be sad if I:
a. had things I had no need for
b. ran out to get something because someone on the internet tried to imply they're better than I am for having one and felt the need to keep up an anonymous Jones.

OP, getting a can opener is not 'keeping up with the Joneses'. It's just part of being a normal person who cooks once in a while.