how do I get someone to stop calling me "ladies" respectfully?

[Anonymous]

I am in a relatively senior position at the world bank. It is wholly normal for a group if women to be referred to as ladies and a group if men to be referred to as gentlemen. Perhaps it is not considered sexist on our organization because it is much more common on other countries for people to refer to professionals by these titles. I'm used to hearing women who are the General Counsel at the Bank, heads of departments, and Executive Directors all referred to as "ladies." That's a group I'd be happy to join!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like if he uses it that much and not just as a greeting it would seem like he's trying to pigeonhole you somehow.

OP here- that is exactly how it feels. Pigeonholing- it's the excessive use that gets me. And yes, it's only mildly sexist feeling, but it's sexist feeling nevertheless.

OP, I don't know how old you are, but you speak as though you are young, inexperienced and a tad entitled. Well, here's a piece of advice from someone who has been in the work world longer than you have (most likely) and is more successful than you are currently (I guarantee it):

Making a big deal out of something in the workplace because of your "feelings" is almost always a big mistake. There is nothing factually wrong, nor maliciously intended, about what he is saying, their is only your "feeling" of sexism, however you choose to define that.

Get over it. Everyone is not like you, nor chooses words in the way that you do.

[Anonymous]

^^ "there" is only your feeling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is mildly sexist. Especially to refer to a group of people in a professional context who just happen to be women, but their gender is irrelevant to the task at hand. It serves to indicate that the speaker is very much seeing you as ladies, rather than simply as colleagues.

I would find this more understandable is a female social situation, like an email to a group of moms having a night out being addressed as ladies. Even then, not the word I would use, sounds very Mad Men era.

So how would you refer to a group of professionals who all happen to be ladies or a group of professionals who all happen to be men, or a co-ed group. What are the terms that you consider to be non sexist? Do you say hello colleagues? I would find that odd in my workplace.

I don't agree that noticing that a group is women or men or coed is sexist. Same as a group of kids playing - yelling boys, get off the fence or girls get off the fence is just an accurate identifier. It is really you who is assigning a negative connotation to the world boy, girl, man, woman, lady, gentleman etc. I personally don't see those words as negative or sexist and therefore would not consider someone entering a room and using the terms ladies and gentlemen to be sexist or offensive in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like if he uses it that much and not just as a greeting it would seem like he's trying to pigeonhole you somehow.

OP here- that is exactly how it feels. Pigeonholing- it's the excessive use that gets me. And yes, it's only mildly sexist feeling, but it's sexist feeling nevertheless.

OP, I don't know how old you are, but you speak as though you are young, inexperienced and a tad entitled. Well, here's a piece of advice from someone who has been in the work world longer than you have (most likely) and is more successful than you are currently (I guarantee it):

Making a big deal out of something in the workplace because of your "feelings" is almost always a big mistake. There is nothing factually wrong, nor maliciously intended, about what he is saying, their is only your "feeling" of sexism, however you choose to define that.

Get over it. Everyone is not like you, nor chooses words in the way that you do.

I guarantee I am nicer than you. But then again, I have the sense that is not important to you in the scheme of other priorities.
It's interesting that you guarantee you are more successful. I don't know what the means, and I doubt you know it with certainty... especially when you consider the fact that people have different definitions of success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the problem with someone referring to you as "Ladies"? I don't get it.

+1

[Anonymous]

"Lady engineer" is condescending. "Lady doctor" is condescending.

"Ladies night" with drink specials is not condescending.

It depends on the context.

You probably are not being over sensitive. If he refers to all of you as "ladies," it shows that he is subconsciously focusing a lot of time and energy on word choice that is gender specific.

How about he uses the word "team"?

[Anonymous]

Say this to him:

Refer to me by my name, instead of "ladies." When you use the word "ladies" for me it has a negative connotation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Lady engineer" is condescending. "Lady doctor" is condescending.

"Ladies night" with drink specials is not condescending.

It depends on the context.

You probably are not being over sensitive. If he refers to all of you as "ladies," it shows that he is subconsciously focusing a lot of time and energy on word choice that is gender specific.

How about he uses the word "team"?

Is the idea behind it sexist? Because it's to attract women so more men come to the clubs or bars for happy hour and the whole idea is to attract more men who typically spend more money on entertainment.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous. Saying ladies and gentlemen is completely professional and respectful. Getting bent out of shape for being called a lady is just as waste of your time. Do you also not like to be described as a woman because it has "man" in it.

Maybe a better term is "you people". People get bent out of shape for the dumbest shit. If you used girls than yes that is condescending.

[Anonymous]

Ladies restroom anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous. Saying ladies and gentlemen is completely professional and respectful. Getting bent out of shape for being called a lady is just as waste of your time. Do you also not like to be described as a woman because it has "man" in it.

Maybe a better term is "you people". People get bent out of shape for the dumbest shit. If you used girls than yes that is condescending.

Yes. It is a waste of time and it makes you look bad, too.