how do I get someone to stop calling me "ladies" respectfully?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that for some reason, and can't figure out why. I really can't stand the WTOP traffic guy who comes on ABC's morning news - he always tosses it back to the "girls." Come on.

Would you prefer he said 'ladies'?

Do you have the same reaction when they say boys or guys?

Of course I would have the same reaction to a grown man referring to other grown men as boys in a professional setting. But you never see that.
In this context, ANYTHING is better than girls.

For some people, "girls" is the female equivalent of "guys", although I use "guys" for both men and women or mixed groups. I know others who use "gals" as the the female equivalent of "guys", and I hate that term, but I can't rationally object to it. So I just grit my teeth.

I address my male colleagues as gentlemen.

Is that wrong?

Ladies for my female colleagues
Gentlemen for my male colleagues

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's old fashioned. Maybe it's sexist. Maybe it's annoying. Maybe it's in your last nerve.

Here's the thing. He is your CLIENT. You don't get to educate him, change him, make demands based on your little pet peeves.

Suck it up.

[Anonymous]

So if a client referred to someone as the N-word, that would be okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if a client referred to someone as the N-word, that would be okay?

You equate ladies with niggers?

Ladies is not something that is considered offensive by all. It is the Ops personal preference to not be called a lady. It is not disrespectful to refer to a woman as a lady. If OP has a particular issue with it, that is her issue. Maybe a man finds the word gentleman offensive. That again is his issue - not the same as calling someone a nigger.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the replies. I think I do see it as old-fashioned - my gender has nothing to do with the work situation at hand; why do you keep bringing it up? On the other hand, I think the person who went to a girls' school has an interesting perspective I hadn't thought of. I also think this is very different coming from a man (in this case, he is also older than us and white) than it is coming from another "lady."

I also suspect that part of the reason it seems a little condescending is that "lady" is one of those terms that was more in vogue when women were considered less equal than we are now. Kind of like the word "negro" in itself isn't offensive- it's that word in a lot of languages- but the use of it implies a time that was.

Here's the thing I actually fudged on, as I was curious what the responses would be if power dynamics were not what they are: he's actually not a client, he's a co-worker (peer).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if a client referred to someone as the N-word, that would be okay?

No that would not be "okay." But he would still be a client, and the bounds of the client relationship would dictate your next move. You can pass off the client; you can suggest he seek representation/advice/take his business elsewhere. But you don't go off on a client or educate a client or pick on a client or snark up a client. That's not your role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies. I think I do see it as old-fashioned - my gender has nothing to do with the work situation at hand; why do you keep bringing it up? On the other hand, I think the person who went to a girls' school has an interesting perspective I hadn't thought of. I also think this is very different coming from a man (in this case, he is also older than us and white) than it is coming from another "lady."

I also suspect that part of the reason it seems a little condescending is that "lady" is one of those terms that was more in vogue when women were considered less equal than we are now. Kind of like the word "negro" in itself isn't offensive- it's that word in a lot of languages- but the use of it implies a time that was.

Here's the thing I actually fudged on, as I was curious what the responses would be if power dynamics were not what they are: he's actually not a client, he's a co-worker (peer).

That changes the whole equation, so why did you do that? If he's your coworker, ask him to call you by your name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sick of the fact this one client always refers to my coworker and me as "Ladies." Like, he says it 3 times in a four line email.

Quit your job. Obviously your work environment is unbearable, toxic, and borderline criminal. No one should have to put up with this amount of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Do not take offense where none was intended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sick of the fact this one client always refers to my coworker and me as "Ladies." Like, he says it 3 times in a four line email.

Quit your job. Obviously your work environment is unbearable, toxic, and borderline criminal. No one should have to put up with this amount of abuse.

I actually think it's a right- if someone is offending you because of insinuations related to gender, to say something. I have no idea how to say it, though.

[Anonymous]

Seems like if he uses it that much and not just as a greeting it would seem like he's trying to pigeonhole you somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if a client referred to someone as the N-word, that would be okay?

if robinson cano said 'sup nigga' to jay-z, i don't think he would care.

[Anonymous]

You can respond with "gents"

[Anonymous]

I agree it is mildly sexist. Especially to refer to a group of people in a professional context who just happen to be women, but their gender is irrelevant to the task at hand. It serves to indicate that the speaker is very much seeing you as ladies, rather than simply as colleagues.

I would find this more understandable is a female social situation, like an email to a group of moms having a night out being addressed as ladies. Even then, not the word I would use, sounds very Mad Men era.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like if he uses it that much and not just as a greeting it would seem like he's trying to pigeonhole you somehow.

OP here- that is exactly how it feels. Pigeonholing- it's the excessive use that gets me. And yes, it's only mildly sexist feeling, but it's sexist feeling nevertheless.