Would you buy a home in neighborhood where neighbors make a lot more than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

+1. Line in McLean Hamlet where the homes are more reasonable (under $1 M average) Lots of GS-14 and GS-15 families, government lawyers etc. Some with SAHM....

[Anonymous]

I don't know if you're still reading, OP,

But we have done exactly that. A small fixer-upper was all we could afford in our desired 800K to 2M+ neighborhood. Note the range is wide, there are modest retirees and well-to-do double income earners. Our neighbors have all been polite and friendly, except one curmudgeon who I suspect is racist. We dress better than most because we're European, not because we earn more. The neighborhood has barbecues and parties that welcome everyone. Kids play in the street and the ringleader includes my children.

That being said, we don't have close friendships with our neighbors, which is perfectly fine by me. Being foreigners and having a different frame of reference, I wasn't looking particularly for close friends anyway! We just wanted to have good neighbors and we have!

So for us, it has worked out. As another PP said, just make sure your finances are in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't. You want to find a neighborhood where you'll fit in - financially and socially. Don't be the richest or poorest family in the neighborhood. Strive for the middle.

+10000

If you don't believe you are the keep up with the Joneses type, wait until the knock downs come into the neighborhood. That should provide some perspective rather quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

+1. Line in McLean Hamlet where the homes are more reasonable (under $1 M average) Lots of GS-14 and GS-15 families, government lawyers etc. Some with SAHM....

My neighbors are both feds - one is SES and one is GS-15. I am sure their Household income is about $350,000 but they bought their house for 450,000 back in 2000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

+1. Line in McLean Hamlet where the homes are more reasonable (under $1 M average) Lots of GS-14 and GS-15 families, government lawyers etc. Some with SAHM....

My neighbors are both feds - one is SES and one is GS-15. I am sure their Household income is about $350,000 but they bought their house for 450,000 back in 2000

Where?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

+1. Line in McLean Hamlet where the homes are more reasonable (under $1 M average) Lots of GS-14 and GS-15 families, government lawyers etc. Some with SAHM....

My neighbors are both feds - one is SES and one is GS-15. I am sure their Household income is about $350,000 but they bought their house for 450,000 back in 2000

Where?

Bethesda near Western.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

+1000 It is very lonely and a lot of explaining. "We are not going to the Caribbean for Christmas. Nor will we be visiting Vail. Nor can you accept an all expenses paid trip to Europe with your friend Isabella. No we are not doing the $15k summer camp with Sammy"

This makes me very sad. We bought a $700K teardown in a $1.2++ neighborhood. There are dark moments I wish for more, but we love making this house ours. We do much of the work ourselves including the landscaping. Our neighbors have been incredibly welcoming and compliment our efforts to improve the place. The neighborhood kids play at our house, not because it's the nicest place on the block with the best stuff, but because it's a happy place to be. It's true, we have lots of conversations about why DD can't take private horseback lessons or get French manicures every week. Sometimes these conversations leave me exhausted, but mostly I look at them as opportunities to talk about how lucky we are to have what we do. Wealth is relative. And there will always be someone richer, smarter, thinner, etc. None of that matters if you're right with yourself. I'd rather her learn that in life than how to surround herself with people exactly like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

Really, I think your experience is colored by lawyers which are higher paid in Federal service. In my agency we have like 3 employees out of 150 who are Gs15; everyone else tops out at 130k. And most folks aren't making 130k by the time they are in their 30s, it takes time to work up to that for non lawyers/non doctors. Look at the one example on this thread; they are GS15 but bought in 2000, which mean they are in their 40s. young Genx and geny Feds have had years of pay freezes, smaller budgets, and such. Thy are not buying houses close in. No one in my office owns a SFH inside the beltway, I'm pretty sure, except PG county.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

+1000 It is very lonely and a lot of explaining. "We are not going to the Caribbean for Christmas. Nor will we be visiting Vail. Nor can you accept an all expenses paid trip to Europe with your friend Isabella. No we are not doing the $15k summer camp with Sammy"

This makes me very sad. We bought a $700K teardown in a $1.2++ neighborhood. There are dark moments I wish for more, but we love making this house ours. We do much of the work ourselves including the landscaping. Our neighbors have been incredibly welcoming and compliment our efforts to improve the place. The neighborhood kids play at our house, not because it's the nicest place on the block with the best stuff, but because it's a happy place to be. It's true, we have lots of conversations about why DD can't take private horseback lessons or get French manicures every week. Sometimes these conversations leave me exhausted, but mostly I look at them as opportunities to talk about how lucky we are to have what we do. Wealth is relative. And there will always be someone richer, smarter, thinner, etc. None of that matters if you're right with yourself. I'd rather her learn that in life than how to surround herself with people exactly like her.

Unfortunately, it catches up with people sooner or later. It's not as easy as feeling you bought a bargain, in a close in neighborhood, unfortunately. It comes with a ton of baggage, physically and mentally, internally and externally, which most people are not able to handle. You can pretend everything is near perfect, but its not. Most people aren't right with themselves for long, if they are at the low end of the spectrum. Its common sense. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

+1000 It is very lonely and a lot of explaining. "We are not going to the Caribbean for Christmas. Nor will we be visiting Vail. Nor can you accept an all expenses paid trip to Europe with your friend Isabella. No we are not doing the $15k summer camp with Sammy"

This makes me very sad. We bought a $700K teardown in a $1.2++ neighborhood. There are dark moments I wish for more, but we love making this house ours. We do much of the work ourselves including the landscaping. Our neighbors have been incredibly welcoming and compliment our efforts to improve the place. The neighborhood kids play at our house, not because it's the nicest place on the block with the best stuff, but because it's a happy place to be. It's true, we have lots of conversations about why DD can't take private horseback lessons or get French manicures every week. Sometimes these conversations leave me exhausted, but mostly I look at them as opportunities to talk about how lucky we are to have what we do. Wealth is relative. And there will always be someone richer, smarter, thinner, etc. None of that matters if you're right with yourself. I'd rather her learn that in life than how to surround herself with people exactly like her.

Unfortunately, it catches up with people sooner or later. It's not as easy as feeling you bought a bargain, in a close in neighborhood, unfortunately. It comes with a ton of baggage, physically and mentally, internally and externally, which most people are not able to handle. You can pretend everything is near perfect, but its not. Most people aren't right with themselves for long, if they are at the low end of the spectrum. Its common sense. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

+1 there are easier ways to teach your children this lesson. I would not purchase the home with children. Would absolutely purchase it if I were single or in a relationship without the intent of having children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most government workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....

In our close-in neighborhood in Bethesda, there are government workers married to freelance workers or SAHMs as well. They bought early and live frugally, not quite the same as the new neighbors with the Benzes, but hey, they bought in OUR neighborhood cuz they liked it! OP, can you visit a neighborhood park to get a better sense of the vibe? Honestly, I live in an original home in Bethesda and I think the playground is the great leveler. No one cares what you make - but they care if you are a dog lover! And the kids don't get 50K cars - they'll be WALKING to BCC!!!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it op. I grew up in a very affluent area...we were actually middle of the road income wise....but the entitled attitude of the children and snobbery really rubbed me the wrong way growing up. I think the healthiest neighborhood to grow up in is one that has a solid middle class.

[Anonymous]

Extreme income inequality is not healthy for communities.

[Anonymous]

Not sure about the social aspect, but it sounds like a great real estate deal! That house would only go up in value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

+1000 It is very lonely and a lot of explaining. "We are not going to the Caribbean for Christmas. Nor will we be visiting Vail. Nor can you accept an all expenses paid trip to Europe with your friend Isabella. No we are not doing the $15k summer camp with Sammy"

This makes me very sad. We bought a $700K teardown in a $1.2++ neighborhood. There are dark moments I wish for more, but we love making this house ours. We do much of the work ourselves including the landscaping. Our neighbors have been incredibly welcoming and compliment our efforts to improve the place. The neighborhood kids play at our house, not because it's the nicest place on the block with the best stuff, but because it's a happy place to be. It's true, we have lots of conversations about why DD can't take private horseback lessons or get French manicures every week. Sometimes these conversations leave me exhausted, but mostly I look at them as opportunities to talk about how lucky we are to have what we do. Wealth is relative. And there will always be someone richer, smarter, thinner, etc. None of that matters if you're right with yourself. I'd rather her learn that in life than how to surround herself with people exactly like her.

Unfortunately, it catches up with people sooner or later. It's not as easy as feeling you bought a bargain, in a close in neighborhood, unfortunately. It comes with a ton of baggage, physically and mentally, internally and externally, which most people are not able to handle. You can pretend everything is near perfect, but its not. Most people aren't right with themselves for long, if they are at the low end of the spectrum. Its common sense. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

I respectfully disagree. We don't feel like square pegs. We feel very welcomed by our neighbors. Our kid has lots of neighborhood friends who always play at our house. We're not pretending to be happy. We are happy. Yes, we feel fortunate to have found a bargain in a great neighborhood with great schools. We came from a neighborhood with crappy schools and no neighborhood kids but our house was the nicest on the block. DD experienced the other end of the spectrum and there are lessons to be learned on both sides. This works for us. It could work for OP too. It clearly isn't for everyone.