Would you buy a home in neighborhood where neighbors make a lot more than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

[Anonymous]

Thing is, you'll be surrounded by people with more disposable income than you, either because they bought in 1998 and have a mortgage of $1000 or because they're making scads of money.

If you move to an area, do you really want to be sweating out every $30 trip to IHOP, etc.?

[Anonymous]

I don't think that you can look at a neighborhood and say - only azzholes live in that neighborhood and all of the nice ones live in the neighborhood down the road. There are jerks in every neighborhood and there are really nice people in every neighborhood, too. Buy what works best for you.

[Anonymous]

We just moved into a neighbourhood - not best or worst house and we are renovating. One set of neighbours are absolutely lovely and other set are well a bit strange (nice enough on the surface but a bit frosty - not sure why).

I think a more pressing issue is your attitude towards them - if you are going to be insecure about it then everything a neighbour says or does will be interpreted by you as a put down or judgement when it could be perfectly innocuous, their personality or just having a bad day. That in turn will infect your family and your quality of life.

So if you can deal with your insecurities and not be ready to take offence and this does not stretch you financially - then go for it.

[Anonymous]

YES! This is the BEST way, from a financial perspective, to buy a house. You never want to own the most expensive house in the neighborhood. My parents made that mistake once and rued the day they did it.

Buying the cheapest house in a neighborhood allows you to accumulate equity much more quickly with even minor or DIY updates. Your house has no local comps and everything else is more $$$ which really helps. No one is going to treat you badly, they will be happy a nice family bought the house, just keep the outside looking well kept and pretty and you will be fine.

Honestly, this is the best thing, from a financial perspective, one can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I like to do the opposite and it removes the whole keeping up with the jones.

+100000


OP, you have no ida what the situation you propose does to some people, mentally. Some people go into breakdowns over this. DON'T DO IT.

+1000 It is very lonely and a lot of explaining. "We are not going to the Caribbean for Christmas. Nor will we be visiting Vail. Nor can you accept an all expenses paid trip to Europe with your friend Isabella. No we are not doing the $15k summer camp with Sammy"

[Anonymous]

As someone whose Mom had delusions of grandeur and who grew up near a country club we could not afford to join: Don't do it.

Best not to keep up with the Joneses. The people in our neighborhood were perfectly nice, but I could not go to the club, and could not afford to go to camp with the other kids, could not afford to take ballet lessons with the "expensive" teacher, etc. etc... AND, extended family members were all jealous because we lived in the "rich" area and they were actually the nastiest people to deal with, not the wealthier neighbors. Had a very lonely childhood while the other kids got to know one another at more expensive activities we could not afford.

Mom still says: "I don't know how you can stand to spend so much time alone." Grrr. Many quality hours spent with a therapist have helped. Swore I would never live in a neighborhood we had to stretch significantly to afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just moved into a neighbourhood - not best or worst house and we are renovating. One set of neighbours are absolutely lovely and other set are well a bit strange (nice enough on the surface but a bit frosty - not sure why).

I think a more pressing issue is your attitude towards them - if you are going to be insecure about it then everything a neighbour says or does will be interpreted by you as a put down or judgement when it could be perfectly innocuous, their personality or just having a bad day. That in turn will infect your family and your quality of life.

So if you can deal with your insecurities and not be ready to take offence and this does not stretch you financially - then go for it.

Yes, YOUR attitude is what's most important.

[Anonymous]

I probably did just that - I'm a single mom with about an $100K HHI (plus child support) and I bought in a neighborhood that is mostly dual-income families, and my house was one of the cheaper houses in the neighborhood. there isn't a huge difference between my house and my neighbors' - mine fits in just fine with the original/renovated houses. (It is definitely smaller/older than the new houses going up all over the place.)

I don't really mind - honestly, I'd be an outlier in just about any North Arlington single family neighborhood. I really like my neighbors and I love where we live. But I decided I'd rather be on the poor end of the 'hood than (a) live way the hell out, (b) live in a 'hood with lesser schools, or (c) live in a condo.

[Anonymous]

(13:44 here - also, we can afford to do most of what the neighbors do, so my daughter shouldn't feel left out. We travel less, but she can still do sports, ballet and gymnastics and all the summer camps we want to do. I have a 10-year-old car, but I'm ok with that. It's not a junker, it's just not new.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone whose Mom had delusions of grandeur and who grew up near a country club we could not afford to join: Don't do it.

Best not to keep up with the Joneses. The people in our neighborhood were perfectly nice, but I could not go to the club, and could not afford to go to camp with the other kids, could not afford to take ballet lessons with the "expensive" teacher, etc. etc... AND, extended family members were all jealous because we lived in the "rich" area and they were actually the nastiest people to deal with, not the wealthier neighbors. Had a very lonely childhood while the other kids got to know one another at more expensive activities we could not afford.

Mom still says: "I don't know how you can stand to spend so much time alone." Grrr. Many quality hours spent with a therapist have helped. Swore I would never live in a neighborhood we had to stretch significantly to afford.

I also grew up in the smallest house in a wealthy area. Our friends and neighbors went to Jamaica for spring break while we drove to Detroit to visit my grandparents. It was fine! I had tons of friends, never felt insecure about the money, and had a great experience in the local public school. OP, if you don't feel bad about it, neither will your kids. Go for it (so long as you're not going to overstretch on the mortgage!).

[Anonymous]

As someone whose Mom had delusions of grandeur and who grew up near a country club we could not afford to join: Don't do it.

Best not to keep up with the Joneses. The people in our neighborhood were perfectly nice, but I could not go to the club, and could not afford to go to camp with the other kids, could not afford to take ballet lessons with the "expensive" teacher, etc. etc... AND, extended family members were all jealous because we lived in the "rich" area and they were actually the nastiest people to deal with, not the wealthier neighbors. Had a very lonely childhood while the other kids got to know one another at more expensive activities we could not afford.

Mom still says: "I don't know how you can stand to spend so much time alone." Grrr. Many quality hours spent with a therapist have helped. Swore I would never live in a neighborhood we had to stretch significantly to afford.

I live near a country club, don't care to belong to it--and honestly, I could give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me. But I can't wait to cash out of my house--equity should pay for two houses somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

^^^

I just read through your post again, and I didn't mean to be so flippant--I'm sorry you suffered with those feeling while growing up. We don't have a high HHI, but I grew up with family money and know first hand that it doesn't buy happiness, so I really don't care what other people have. We did buy our house 15 years ago and lucked out with location.

[Anonymous]

Of course I would. How is it important how much the neighbors make? This obsession with cash is anyway stupid. What matters is whether a person has culture and manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is that if you want a) good schools and b) short commute downtown, you are stuck with very expensive neighborhoods. Most middle income folks simply accept the lot of commuting long distances (which is why the 'where did the money come from' thread doesn't list any Federal employees, engineers, or teachers in who is buying close-in neighborhoods).

You are making the choice to value your time over having a nice house further out. That time you spend with your children may balance out the potential for income differences.

Also, even if you move to a neighborhood where people are similar to you in income; they may live off credit or splurge in general or go bonzo at wal-mart and mcdonalds and you might be someone who lives simply; you still won't fit in. But now you are stuck driving much longer!

You're foolish if you dont think McLean, N Arlington and Bethesda have numerous dual GS-15 Federal Employees. In fact, most ghovernment workers in the DC Area are GS-14 or above, which means a two fed household is 250K to 315K....