12-yr-old Milwaukee girls stab friend 10 times!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, my kid has an ipod too. She is 8, so I went into settings and disabled a bunch of stuff. I even thought it was funny when I couldn't figure out later why she didn't have an app store, and then I realized it was because I disabled it. Safari is not enabled, and since she is so young, she hasn't even asked about it. All she does is play minecraft and a horse game. I look at it frequently while she is playing to make sure. But I am worried about this as she gets older.

An ipod at 8? What is she going to have when she's 10? 12?

As a teacher, I am continually frustrated at the decisions parents make which affect kids' attention spans, social expectations, etc.

Really? The other kids in her class either have an ipod, kindle or ipad. She is not an outlier at all. She does not have unlimited access to it. She only uses it in our living room, and like I said, she mostly plays minecraft on it. And she shows me what she creates. Look mom at my cats, my horse, what should I make next, maybe a waterpark? That is what my dd is doing on her ipod.

And you think playing minecraft is a good use of an 8 year olds time? Sorry, I agree with the teacher. She's too young to be so absorbed in this PP, although I know it must make a convenient babysitter for you.

Spoken by someone who probably has one infant. Although this being an anonymous forum, you are probably going to be a seasoned mother of 5 valedictorians. I can't think of any children that age who don't have an ipod or tablet. And do you know anything about Minecraft? I actually think it helps kids explore, use their imaginations. My kids play it together with the neighborhood kids. And yes, they get plenty of outdoor time too. It's not an all or nothing.

Thanks for the response. Yes, my 8 year old finds it a great way to communicate/interact with other kids at school. She has ADHD and does check in/check out with the school counselor. Another boy that does as well was showing minecraft to dd, and she was very interested. At first she played on my iphone, and then I finally got her an ipod. Almost all the other ADHD kids at check in/check out are boys, so it helps dd have something in common with them and allows her some happy moments at school where she can feel part of a group. I see it as a positive thing, and don't appreciate all the bashing I am getting. She does not play with others, and doesn't even do the scary/zombie one. She just creates animals/buildings and things on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Do you know how to use java programming? My 8yr old does. He creates mods in Java.

Do you have any idea how complex that is? We are talking college level programming here. Some of these kids are starting to learn this at 8yrs old. As someone who has a career in IT, I know for a FACT that my son already has a huge advantage. "

A shame, though, that he's socially and creatively inept.

Are you kidding? My dd is very creative and minecraft allows you to use that skill. Do you people know anything at all about minecraft? I think of minecraft as being a lot like rainbow loom. When dd first got a rainbow loom kit, she spent 4 hours straight making bracelets, necklaces and rings. Then over the coming 6 months to a year, she created lots of other rainbow loom crafts. Eventually though, she got tired of it, and now it sits on the shelf. Minecraft will go through the same progreession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are charged as adults. In Wisconsin. The state that would not give death to Jeffrey Dahmer

I didn't see an update. Have they sentenced them? I can't even wrap my head around luring your "friend" into the woods to stab her 19 times, let alone at age 12!!! Where are the parents?

What about the 10 year old boys who lured a toddler and killed him in the '90s. This stuff happened before the internet.

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/11/25/world/2-british-boys-both-11-guilty-of-murdering-toddler.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Do you know how to use java programming? My 8yr old does. He creates mods in Java.

Do you have any idea how complex that is? We are talking college level programming here. Some of these kids are starting to learn this at 8yrs old. As someone who has a career in IT, I know for a FACT that my son already has a huge advantage. "

A shame, though, that he's socially and creatively inept.

Are you kidding? My dd is very creative and minecraft allows you to use that skill. Do you people know anything at all about minecraft? I think of minecraft as being a lot like rainbow loom. When dd first got a rainbow loom kit, she spent 4 hours straight making bracelets, necklaces and rings. Then over the coming 6 months to a year, she created lots of other rainbow loom crafts. Eventually though, she got tired of it, and now it sits on the shelf. Minecraft will go through the same progreession.

Fully agree. My college age kid is getting all sorts of tech accolades and was/is an avid gamer. He has friends, a girlfriend, and everything! Imagine that!

Your DD is fine!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never confuse what a school itself endorses for what trained educators endorse.

It seems to me that if 'trained educators' are teaching in the schools that endorse this stuff, they are endorsing it as well, at least as far as a paycheck is concerned. Time to switch careers if the disconnect is his profound.

New poster. Oh yes, because it's SOOOOO easy to switch careers and teachers who disagree with administrators should all just quit. Excellent critical thinking skills you have there. Would you apply this same logic to yourself and your own family's livelihood? You sound like an ass.

Switching careers requires determination and education. I didn't say it was easy. Doing what's right rarely is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a horrible thing to happen. Makes me not want my kids to have a computer at all.

Believe me, I have this same thought at least once a day. But it's a horrible tightrope to have to walk. After all, in order to be considered well-educated in their generation, they are going to have to be tech savvy. So the only way to do it is through complete vigilance on the parent's part. I feel like it's tougher to chase my kid and her iPod around now than it was to chase her around when she was 19 months old!

Yes, my kid has an ipod too. She is 8, so I went into settings and disabled a bunch of stuff. I even thought it was funny when I couldn't figure out later why she didn't have an app store, and then I realized it was because I disabled it. Safari is not enabled, and since she is so young, she hasn't even asked about it. All she does is play minecraft and a horse game. I look at it frequently while she is playing to make sure. But I am worried about this as she gets older.

There's your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened in the UK before the internet - look at Jamie Bulger. Some percentage of kids are potentially violent psychopaths with no moral compass, and it has always been that way.

Yep. These psychopaths planned her murder since February. It has nothing to do with tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Do you know how to use java programming? My 8yr old does. He creates mods in Java.

Do you have any idea how complex that is? We are talking college level programming here. Some of these kids are starting to learn this at 8yrs old. As someone who has a career in IT, I know for a FACT that my son already has a huge advantage. "

A shame, though, that he's socially and creatively inept.

What makes you think that? Socially he is more social than the average child. As far as creativity goes, I don't think you understand what Minecraft or Java is, so I'll let you look the fool on that one.

See, the difference between your kind of parenting and mine, is I strike a balance. I do not "ban" video games, instead I took something he was very interested in an channelled it into learning with the Java classes. My kids are well rounded. We do sports (my little programmer did two sports this spring) fine art classes every Friday, and have a lot of "family friends" where parents and kids often hang out together all weekend and do vacations together; additionally my kids play mincraft, skylanders, and plants vs zombies. I don't believe in taking a militant stance on the "evil perils" of video games. I grew up watching MTV when shrills were saying that it was going to be the demise of the social fabric of America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Do you know how to use java programming? My 8yr old does. He creates mods in Java.

Do you have any idea how complex that is? We are talking college level programming here. Some of these kids are starting to learn this at 8yrs old. As someone who has a career in IT, I know for a FACT that my son already has a huge advantage. "

A shame, though, that he's socially and creatively inept.

Are you kidding? My dd is very creative and minecraft allows you to use that skill. Do you people know anything at all about minecraft? I think of minecraft as being a lot like rainbow loom. When dd first got a rainbow loom kit, she spent 4 hours straight making bracelets, necklaces and rings. Then over the coming 6 months to a year, she created lots of other rainbow loom crafts. Eventually though, she got tired of it, and now it sits on the shelf. Minecraft will go through the same progreession.

As far as Minecraft goes, I think it is especially beneficial for girls. Mincraft already caters to the boys brains…their innate interest in building, creating, and defending. I think exposure to more Minecraft and less princess will benefit them in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Whether or not this happened before the Internet, the point is that so many kids post inappropriate things online and have no parents to monitor their behavior.

They feel comfortable posting things, making comments, harassing others because it's not face to face, so kids who might not normally have gotten into this kind of thing, now are. And no one is monitoring them to keep a handle on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether or not this happened before the Internet, the point is that so many kids post inappropriate things online and have no parents to monitor their behavior.

They feel comfortable posting things, making comments, harassing others because it's not face to face, so kids who might not normally have gotten into this kind of thing, now are. And no one is monitoring them to keep a handle on it.

I feel like parents were MORE absent when I was growing up than now. Bullying was also OK. I was always so pissed because i was the only one with helicopter parents. I remember my best friend's mom always being so drunk after 7pm and once she was out it was party time. This day and age with info overload, my parents would have easily uncovered her alcoholism...it would have been all over her FB newsfeed and I would have been banned from her house. When I was a teen I just had to make sure my parents verified the sleep over prior to 7pm and I was golden. It would have been disastrous if I had a cell phone as teen. They would have tracked me everywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look what they can create on an iPad!

...or what my kids create with Legos, paint sets, calligraphy pens.

My kid can create things on all of the above. It's not an either or thing

+1000. I don't get why discussions about kids & technology always bring out such extremes and vitriol. I'm not sure why people on this site always assume either (1) you allow a younger kid (elementary or so) access to technology which must mean that's all they ever do, or (2) you don't give your kids access to much technology at that age so you must be crazy controlling and your kids will be hopelessly out of touch, and bored all the time. There has to be a balance somewhere, why can't otherwise rational adults see that in this case? My kid can enjoy spending some time on tech-related hobbies and still play outside, do crafts, get together with friends, etc.

Granted I am not the most neutral party in this discussion; my girls got one of those four-preprogrmamed-numbers firefly type phones that could only call me & DH at work plus two local relatives when they started school full time (K, age almost 6), and a basic trac phone for the oldest in 3rd grade. My youngest has used it less than 10 times total in 2 years to contact me/DH and my oldest has been extremely responsible with using hers for only approved and necessary reasons.

I think the key is monitoring and active parental engagement with their kid, including appropriate setting of limits and expectations for how technology can be used appropriately. I try to do so, and clearly the PP with the 8 year old & iPad does so as well. Lack of such parental involvement was likely a factor in this case somehow.

That said, I don't think we can solely blame the supposed 'evils of technology' for causing this. I don't think use of phones, iPads, TVs or whatever can take a child raised with strong guidance and morals and healthy mental development and, single-handedly in isolation, turn them into vicious killers. To be clear, I am not blaming any one factor or any of the parents for this; I don't know enough about the case to comment on what could have made those girls turn out like this. It just seems pretty shallow and simplistic to focus only on blaming technology/social media for this tragedy, and I think such an analysis runs the risk of making snap judgments and decisions without understanding all of the complex underlying, important, issues.