My child is the only one with ADD, not on meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing to help him develop appropriate coping strategies?

Do you do any of the following?

1) Have him do 30 minutes of real exercise before school every day and more after school? Does he have breakfast with a decent amount of protein?
2) Does your school have an individual trampoline in a special ed room where kids can go to jump for ten minutes if they need to let off some energy? This is what my ES school had and it was written into some children's IEP that it be available.
3) Does he have any fidgets?
4) Does he have an exercise ball for a chair? or can he stand at a desk instead of sit?
5) Have you tried relaxation yoga or meditation?
6) Does your school have a labyrinth to walk at recess?
7) Does he have a positive behavior chart on his desk? Written into his IEP?
8) Does he get frequent breaks?
9) Can he take tests in a smaller classroom with fewer children?
10) Does he see a psychologist or LCSW that is experienced with ADHD?
11) Has he every been to a social skills group?
12) Does he get positive reinforcement at home?

1) No, but good idea
2) No
3) Yes, but teacher not happy about that.
4) Yet to bring that up...
5) No, would never work...you need to see him
6) No
7) I have one at home. It works for homework surprisingly well. They did that last year and it worked well. This teacher is too busy or something.
8) No
9) Tests well
10) psychiatrist
11) actually great social skills. All kids love him. Really in tune with others and very good judge of character. Knows when to back down. Just self centered.
12) not as much as we should...

I am the PP to whom you responded. A few comments:
1) What is in his IEP? Put the positive behavior chart IN the IEP, then the teacher cannot be "too busy or something" Does he have any behavior goals in his IEP? Having them as goals can also help it rise up in priority with the teacher. Is there one aide in his class that helps all the special ed students or does your child have a one on one aide?
2) Buy a mini trampoline and gift it to the school. Then put it into his IEP. It works wonders- medicated or not. Remember medication isn't a magic elixir, it is part of an overall plan.
3) Ask for an IEP meeting and bring up trying to have him sit on an exercise ball or stand (bring the exercise ball with you).
4) Try yoga or meditation after heavy exercise. Not just once, but over a long period of time (think years,not days). Start very simple and for very small amounts of time. It take time and commitment to raise a child with special needs.
5) Get "frequent breaks" into h is IEP/504.
6) How often does he see a psychiatrist? The ones I know don't see people weekly, they are there for medication and have a LCSW or psychologist on staff for the weekly sessions.
7) If he is self centered, a social skills class would be excellent for him.
8) I would start the IEP/504 changes now, so that they can be in place next year. I would also have a meeting in the beginning of next year to go over the IEP have a "meet and greet" withe his teachers.
9) I suggest you go to wrightslaw.com and take a few of their classes (very inexpensive and on your own time), read through the website. It is very good and I learned quite a bit of information about the process of everything. expectations I should have, and what accommodations may be helpful.

Good luck!

In the process of getting the IEP, but OMG the school really does not want to go there $$$. We tried to get him accommodations for handwriting and that failed twice. This particular teacher is not happy with me because I went to the principal early on about her. She was rude to the baby sitter and she put my son to sit next to a bully who tortured him. The bully was well known to be that way and before school started I asked her not to put them together since my son will not fight back. So a week of phone calls to principal, and then the bully's parents themselves, then a lawyer, DS got moved. Other parents went through similar things with that child. End of the year, no way to "repair" at this point.

6:42 again. Where in the process are you regarding IEP? It is fairly late in the year to be still going through the IEP process. Have you/are you using the school provided testing or are you having/have you had private testing? Was your DC diagnosed with dysgraphia and ADHD? If so, what were the recommended accommodations of the evaluator? Since his teacher was using a positive behavior chart last year, what was the reason given? Why wasn't the IEP process started last year? What do you mean "no way to repair"?

I am not suggesting medications - at all, but in order to better understand your views I would like to ask a few questions. What led you to the decision to not medicate? What things did you consider? Is there something about your child that makes him a poor candidate for medication? My DS is allergic to stimulant medication, so that is the reason he does not take the stimulant forms. After much thought and deliberation considering his specific needs, we decided to medicate with Strattera and it has been successful- but it is not a drug I would recommend to most children because of the potential side effects- he has to be monitored closely. So, I am curious about the thought process that led to your decision to eliminate medications as a possible course of action. I am also confused as to why you chose a psychiatrist instead of a psychologist to treat your DC, given your medication decision. Most people only see the psychiatrist for medication issues- otherwise it is way too expensive to do on a weekly basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes meds are necessary, but I don't think every unmedicated kid suffers without them. It's an overstatement to blame substance abuse problems at 50 on being unmedicated at 10. ADHD sufferers are frequent substance abusers, regardless of whether or not they use meds as kids. Some studies have found that med use increases the risk of substance abuse, not decreases it.

Brock and Fernette Eide are Harvard educated doctors who specialize in working with SN kids. They are tremendous diagnosticians and have written extensively about ADHD. They are cautious on drug use for kids with ADHD. They acknowledge that it is necessary for some kids, but believe that kids who can do without meds should not be given meds. You might want to check out their book "The Mislabeled Child."

Way too much of a generalization pp. Every situation is different and it is up to parent/doctor team how to effectively treat.

And the substance abuse problems don't wait until age 50. They begin early, as a way to self-medicate.
Impulsive decision making, poor school performance, and difficulty making healthy friendships all contribute here.

GP OP!

So glad that you see my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes meds are necessary, but I don't think every unmedicated kid suffers without them. It's an overstatement to blame substance abuse problems at 50 on being unmedicated at 10. ADHD sufferers are frequent substance abusers, regardless of whether or not they use meds as kids. Some studies have found that med use increases the risk of substance abuse, not decreases it.

Brock and Fernette Eide are Harvard educated doctors who specialize in working with SN kids. They are tremendous diagnosticians and have written extensively about ADHD. They are cautious on drug use for kids with ADHD. They acknowledge that it is necessary for some kids, but believe that kids who can do without meds should not be given meds. You might want to check out their book "The Mislabeled Child."

Way too much of a generalization pp. Every situation is different and it is up to parent/doctor team how to effectively treat.

And the substance abuse problems don't wait until age 50. They begin early, as a way to self-medicate.
Impulsive decision making, poor school performance, and difficulty making healthy friendships all contribute here.

GP OP!

So glad that you see my point.

If you are OP, I don't see your point. Your DS is suffering without meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 so third grade right? Let me tell you if he is well liked now, that won't last. By 4th grade those class clown behaviors that seem funny in 2nd grade start to get really annoying as most boys start to grow out of those behaviors and the adhd kids don't. There was a kid in my sons class that the boys started hating so much at that age because he kept touching them and interrupting and doing silly things to get attention. Also playground sports become important and he will be ostracized there too because he won't be able to keep up and will do things to annoy the other boys like grab the ball and run away.

I bet every parent on here who has chosen to medicate has a story to tell about a sobbing child recounting some playground moment that just broke that parents heart and contributed to the decision to try meds.

Are you suggesting medicating a child in advance of a social problem? Children, even those with ADD, grow and change too, often without medication.

Nope, I'm just telling her what's coming around the corner. It's probably happening already and she just doesn't see it. Yes, children grow and change, but it sounds like he is on a negative trajectory AND he is already suffering other negative consequences of his untreated ADHD. So I'm not buying her assertion that the other kids love her kid. Dollars to doughnuts they find him annoying as hell, and the other neighborhood kids don't want to play with him not because they don't like to play as much as he does, but because he is irritating and they don't want him around.

I'm not advocating that OP medicate her child. I'm just telling her to get off her high horse and realize that parents who make other choices typically do so after careful consideration and a lot of discussion, research, and heartache and NOT just to make their kids docile in school so as not to annoy the teachers. OP is not entitled to criticize when she so clearly has made so little effort to help her son and when she has not implemented other options available to her. The fact that, for example, she does not make her son exercise before school, which any simple research will tell you is sort of a front line, basic intervention that will help an ADHD child, is very very telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
/quote]

In the process of getting the IEP, but OMG the school really does not want to go there $$$. We tried to get him accommodations for handwriting and that failed twice. This particular teacher is not happy with me because I went to the principal early on about her. She was rude to the baby sitter and she put my son to sit next to a bully who tortured him. The bully was well known to be that way and before school started I asked her not to put them together since my son will not fight back. So a week of phone calls to principal, and then the bully's parents themselves, then a lawyer, DS got moved. Other parents went through similar things with that child. End of the year, no way to "repair" at this point.

6:42 again. Where in the process are you regarding IEP? It is fairly late in the year to be still going through the IEP process. Have you/are you using the school provided testing or are you having/have you had private testing? Was your DC diagnosed with dysgraphia and ADHD? If so, what were the recommended accommodations of the evaluator? Since his teacher was using a positive behavior chart last year, what was the reason given? Why wasn't the IEP process started last year? What do you mean "no way to repair"?

I am not suggesting medications - at all, but in order to better understand your views I would like to ask a few questions. What led you to the decision to not medicate? What things did you consider? Is there something about your child that makes him a poor candidate for medication? My DS is allergic to stimulant medication, so that is the reason he does not take the stimulant forms. After much thought and deliberation considering his specific needs, we decided to medicate with Strattera and it has been successful- but it is not a drug I would recommend to most children because of the potential side effects- he has to be monitored closely. So, I am curious about the thought process that led to your decision to eliminate medications as a possible course of action. I am also confused as to why you chose a psychiatrist instead of a psychologist to treat your DC, given your medication decision. Most people only see the psychiatrist for medication issues- otherwise it is way too expensive to do on a weekly basis.

The handwriting thing fell flat. They will NOT give any assistance with that. Asked for three years in a row. Dysgraphia had NO academic impact, because he tests well. It was odd that when I told the learning specialist that he had dysgraphia, she asked, "what's that?". ADD did not become an issue until this year, so that is why we are on it now.
Using a psychiatrist because I am also an MD and it comes down to speaking the same language and a sort of culture that I understand. BTW, the psychiatrist is CHEAPER than the LSW and the psychologists.
Prefer no meds because I am also on the holistic side and what I read about side effects is troubling. That said, the psychiatrist is also not a big fan of meds and thinks that they are overused. It has become so standard that children like mine really stand out.
BTW, thanks for your input. I considered many of the items on your list. The ball is interesting, DS might not want to sit on that if he is the only one....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are clearly monitoring this thread closely but you only respond to the posts that are not about medication. Even though you posted about medication, and that was the point, you are not responding to any of the posts from those of us who have been there, done that, and think you are doing a real disservice to your DS. You aren't even defending your choice (and its not clear to me WHY you are so adamantly opposed to medication), just ignoring the whole topic that you raised. Even the parents who have chosen not to medicate have said that under certain circumstances they would, and your DS seems to really be under those circumstances. He's suffering and you are refusing the treatment that could help him. Since you are a doctor, I'm pretty shocked that you are withholding medical treatment from your DS.

You went to the principal early on, going over the teacher's head. I can just imagine your dukes up approach. Perhaps you would have had more success if you hadn't gone all nuclear. Who cares about insulting the babysitter? That sucks, its inexcusable, but when you went to the principal about it you pretty much declared yourself a PITA and therefore didn't get listened to on the more important issue.

let me tell you how the school sees you: You have a child who is difficult to handle and you are not being a partner in that situation. Rather you are blaming everyone else. No one at the school likes you. The teacher doesn't like you. The principal doesn't like you. I've got to wonder if the other parents like you. As a result of this animosity, they will not go the extra mile to help your DS, especially because they don't see you helping your DS from your end. Meanwhile, he is suffering. I don;t see a good future for him unless you get your act together. Sad.

I am not blaming anyone. We have the worst teacher in the school this year. It is well known. She is sailing along to retirement so the story goes.
The baby sitter said hello to the teacher and attempted to shake hands with her, and she waded past her to someone else. Maybe babysitter looked too common, but that is too much. Also, baby sitter NEVER complains about that kind of thing. Anyway, I am not sure that I need to justify my actions. And any teacher who takes it out on the child needs to retire. Teacher is mad because there is one kid who is not on medication who has her work a bit harder. Nowhere have I heard that the purpose of medicating children was to make the teachers happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are clearly monitoring this thread closely but you only respond to the posts that are not about medication. Even though you posted about medication, and that was the point, you are not responding to any of the posts from those of us who have been there, done that, and think you are doing a real disservice to your DS. You aren't even defending your choice (and its not clear to me WHY you are so adamantly opposed to medication), just ignoring the whole topic that you raised. Even the parents who have chosen not to medicate have said that under certain circumstances they would, and your DS seems to really be under those circumstances. He's suffering and you are refusing the treatment that could help him. Since you are a doctor, I'm pretty shocked that you are withholding medical treatment from your DS.

You went to the principal early on, going over the teacher's head. I can just imagine your dukes up approach. Perhaps you would have had more success if you hadn't gone all nuclear. Who cares about insulting the babysitter? That sucks, its inexcusable, but when you went to the principal about it you pretty much declared yourself a PITA and therefore didn't get listened to on the more important issue.

let me tell you how the school sees you: You have a child who is difficult to handle and you are not being a partner in that situation. Rather you are blaming everyone else. No one at the school likes you. The teacher doesn't like you. The principal doesn't like you. I've got to wonder if the other parents like you. As a result of this animosity, they will not go the extra mile to help your DS, especially because they don't see you helping your DS from your end. Meanwhile, he is suffering. I don;t see a good future for him unless you get your act together. Sad.

I am not blaming anyone. We have the worst teacher in the school this year. It is well known. She is sailing along to retirement so the story goes.
The baby sitter said hello to the teacher and attempted to shake hands with her, and she waded past her to someone else. Maybe babysitter looked too common, but that is too much. Also, baby sitter NEVER complains about that kind of thing. Anyway, I am not sure that I need to justify my actions. And any teacher who takes it out on the child needs to retire. Teacher is mad because there is one kid who is not on medication who has her work a bit harder. Nowhere have I heard that the purpose of medicating children was to make the teachers happy.

There is not a single post on this thread saying your DS should take medication to make his teacher happy. There are many posts saying that your child is suffering (very accurate choice of words) from a medical disorder that you are not treating.You ignore all of that and focus entirely on the teacher. We all get it, you hate the teacher. But what are you doing to help your DS?

Sure, the teacher was shitty to the babysitter, but not go to the principal and complain shitty. You alienated her from the get-go.

But this is all a straw man anyway. This is the issue: The teacher -- for whatever reason -- finds your DS difficult to manage. You, yourself, have observed that he cannot attend to the class the way the other kids do. You also say he has low self-esteem and other children don't want to play with him. You clearly worry about the fact that you aren't giving him medication. Otherwise, you wouldn;t have raised the issue in this thread, you would have just written that you hate the teacher.

Clearly you won't even consider options to help your DS. Its very sad.

[Anonymous]

So basically you have a crappy teacher this year and you don't have the social skills/acumen to get her to play nice, and you've chosen to express your dissatisfaction with this situation by bitching about other people's kids taking medicine for ADHD and making THAT the problem instead of this individual teacher and/or your inability to work with her constructively. Why not write a post asking how to support your non-medicated ADHD child when he has an unsupportive teacher? You'd probably get much more helpful feedback.

[Anonymous]

My son is 9 and was the class clown too. After he started taking meds in September, he said that so many kids told him that he wasn't annoying anymore. He said he didn't know he was annoying before then since everyone laughed when he goofed off. I've taught 3rd grade and by then, the kids have been around each other since K and they have grown tired of the class clowns. If the teacher is exhausted by his behavior, imagine how his classmates feel. By next year, the kids will start avoiding him and won't include him. If you want to wait and watch it happen, don't complain about it after the fact.

[Anonymous]

This thread is more about the child as a stand out since medication has become the norm.
We will not know anytime soon whether the medications actually help or hurt children in the long run. But for now, it seems that most people will use them. The system might be more geared towards those who medicate.
It reminds me of that documentary about the deaf families and their decisions about whether or not to use cochlear implants to help their children with deafness. At some point, when everyone is implanted, the few deaf un-implanted children left will be the stand outs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is more about the child as a stand out since medication has become the norm.
We will not know anytime soon whether the medications actually help or hurt children in the long run. But for now, it seems that most people will use them. The system might be more geared towards those who medicate.
It reminds me of that documentary about the deaf families and their decisions about whether or not to use cochlear implants to help their children with deafness. At some point, when everyone is implanted, the few deaf un-implanted children left will be the stand outs.

Not in today's education system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's easier to hold off longer on starting medication when the child has the inattentive subtype. When it's impulsive or combined, the social implications are much greater. Our son has the combined subtype and is extremely impulsive. It's like he has no control over his body, no self control whatsover, and he is so easily angered and frustrated. On medication, he can think before he acts, he is compliant, does not get frustrated, he is so much happier.

I'm the 5/7/14 21:44 poster with the child who has inattentive type and I agree with your comment. If my son was disruptive/lacked impulse control, our decision would probably be different.

[Anonymous]

OP, you obviously have a very deep concern for your child. I would not medicate simply because everyone is saying to.

I also wonder about longterm effects of these kids on medications, switching types, dosages, ramping up, weaning off, backsliding. It sounds awful and I know that parents do it not because they want to but because they believe it is in the best interest of their child/family.

The teacher sounds like a major part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 9 and was the class clown too. After he started taking meds in September, he said that so many kids told him that he wasn't annoying anymore. He said he didn't know he was annoying before then since everyone laughed when he goofed off. I've taught 3rd grade and by then, the kids have been around each other since K and they have grown tired of the class clowns. If the teacher is exhausted by his behavior, imagine how his classmates feel. By next year, the kids will start avoiding him and won't include him. If you want to wait and watch it happen, don't complain about it after the fact.

What a jerky thing to say to a parent who is trying to figure out what is best for her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 9 and was the class clown too. After he started taking meds in September, he said that so many kids told him that he wasn't annoying anymore. He said he didn't know he was annoying before then since everyone laughed when he goofed off. I've taught 3rd grade and by then, the kids have been around each other since K and they have grown tired of the class clowns. If the teacher is exhausted by his behavior, imagine how his classmates feel. By next year, the kids will start avoiding him and won't include him. If you want to wait and watch it happen, don't complain about it after the fact.

What a jerky thing to say to a parent who is trying to figure out what is best for her kid.

Is she? Is she trying to figure out what is best for her kid? All I see is complaints about the teacher. I don't see her trying to figure out anything.