My estranged parents tried to take my daughter from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Does it make me the most dysfunctional broken human being that I loathe picking up the phone to call the police on my own parents.? What a horrid situation and highly embarassing to boot.

I have had to take out a stalking injunction and a restraining order against my mother. It sucks explaining to people, but I KNOW I'm doing what I need to do to protect my children. You are not a bad person OP. And you are not alone. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised the school didn't call the police FOR you! Definitely get this on record. I hate to say it, but they very well may do it again and in a less secure setting. I'm guessing the estrangement is fairly recent if they have a connection to your child and know her daily whereabouts. Make sure your daughter knows how to react if she sees them.

Because a grandparent who wasn't on the pick up list came by and asked for the child? The fact that the school said no is great, and they should be commended, but parents forget to put people on the pick up list or send a note all the time. If the school called the cops every time a family doesn't put grandma on the list, because they figure she's out of town, and then forgets to send a note.

No, the part where the mother got there and the grandparents were yelling down the hall at the child. THAT'S when I would have thought the school would have called. Seems like an out-of-the-ordinary disturbance to me.

[Anonymous]

I promise I don't mean this in any kind of bitchy way, but I can't believe you are hesitating on the police report. Why the reluctance? It seems to this outsider that in doing so, you are demonstrating more loyalty to them than to your daughter. They terrified her! Ask yourself this: would you have hesitated for even an hour if they were persons unknown to you? The situation as you described it warrants police involvement. I'm not trying to be harsh on you. You said you called your attorney - what did your attorney advise?

[Anonymous]

Even though they are related to you, that doesn't mean you owe them anything or they are incapable of causing harm.

Make a report and implement precautions. It sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

[Anonymous]

The behavior you are describing is completely mind-boggling and terrifying. I can only assume that you and your siblings must have cut them off for a very good reason. They didn't contact you in any way before establishing contact? They tried to take your child from school? That is terrible judgement at the very least.

Again: If they are just coming out of the blue and trying to get your child to come with them, I can't imagine what they are thinking. But it is scary. You have a right to every recourse open to you.

File the report. Their behavior is so inappropriate that you have to assume something is seriously amiss with them.

[Anonymous]

File the report. You owe it to your child.

[Anonymous]

OP, do not be so scared to call the police. They are not going to contact your parents, especially if they live in another state. You will simply be filing a report of their behavior, creating a record in case they try something like this again. They won't be arrested for attempted kidnapping. They are your child's grandparents, not some random strangers, so it is reasonable for them to ask for her at her school.

What is not reasonable is for you to hesitate about filing a report about this incident, especially if your child was very frightened by it. It will be on file in case you need it. Perhaps this will be the only time they try something like this, perhaps not. But it is your obligation to protect your child, and in this instance, a police report is necessary to document your parents' behavior.

I don't know if you need a restraining order, but if this behavior is repeated, you will need the police report to get the restraining order.

But speak to your lawyer and heed his/her advice.

Very painful situation, OP. Do what's right for your child.

[Anonymous]

OP- they are the ones that should be horrified. You are just protecting your child.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Does it make me the most dysfunctional broken human being that I loathe picking up the phone to call the police on my own parents.? What a horrid situation and highly embarassing to boot.

It makes you a good person that you hate having to do what must be done in this circumstance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the age of the kid, you should have a "safe word" for emergency pick ups, something whacky like "hamster ball" that only your kid and another adult would know if you told them. That way, if there was truly an emergency, you had a way for them to know. Otherwise, definitely call the cops, school, and any other activities your kid is involved in.

The saying used to be "Stranger Danger". You know, look out for the creeper in the windowless white van handing out candy and puppies.

The reality is that kids are most often abducted and/or worse by adults they know well.

Lawyer in my office is a huge Star Wars fan. The family password is "Luke, I am your father...." (complete with heavy breathing)

Um, why do you know the safe word? And do you tell people about it IRL too? What a dumb thing for the dad to share. The point of a safe word (or phrase) is that it is secret!

Thank you for your concern, random stranger on the internet.

I picked the kids up after school when his wife had baby #4.

No, I don't tell people in real life.

Wait, so did you show up at the school and say the password (complete with heavy breathing and all)? Were other people around? They must have thought you were crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Does it make me the most dysfunctional broken human being that I loathe picking up the phone to call the police on my own parents.? What a horrid situation and highly embarassing to boot.

No. I have almost had mine committed. Didn't do it but regret not seizing the opportunity. FWIW I have warned my work about my mom and she doesn't know her grandchildren so couldn't find preschool if she tried. Not that she has the wherewithal to travel. She lives far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though they are related to you, that doesn't mean you owe them anything or they are incapable of causing harm.

Make a report and implement precautions. It sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

totes agree