Dressing Young When You're Getting Older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now to all the ladies: do you really want to start dressing like a Top Shop model because you’re 40? And for all you with the body changes and the baby fat, etc., etc., is it really necessary to go all conservative? You do know that there are trendy looks that aren’t short and tight, right? And that you don’t have to have perfectly toned arms to wear a cap sleeve or even no sleeves? I’m not cut like Michelle Obama or skinny as a stick. I’m a size 10 and I wear up-to-date clothes that are neither slutty or teenager-y. The key is trendy accessories, tops, jeans, hairdo, and subtle modern makeup. AND if your face is wrinkled or caving in from volume loss and you have the tell tale wrinkled turkey neck and old crone hands and feet to get those taken care of. It’s a myth that you have to look perfect or super young to wear trendy, fashionable clothes.

Also, you are not competing with anybody! Why do people say that? Dressing nice is about looking good not competing for male attention with 20-year-olds. You can’t compete with them on that score, just like they can’t compete with you when it comes to experience, wisdom and sophistication. So please get that out of your head. You have to understand as an older woman is that 40 and beyond is when we truly come into our power. That’s why the powers that be want you to feel ashamed of yourself and like you’re “competing” to shut you the hell up and push you in the background. The best thing you can do as an older woman is to get in the gym, reclaim your body and your health, and wear what the f* you want. Being strong and beautiful, especially at 40 and beyond is powerful because most women just let themselves go. I never understand this! You are still a woman at 40. Why would you wear drab, hideous clothes and slink into the background at the prime of your life?

As for micro minis, I personally think they are for little girls. A fitted pencil skirt that hits at the knee or just slightly above is far more sexy, especially at night with a stiletto heel. If you have taken good care of your décolletage, as you should, a plunging neck line with cleavage – just enough, not spill over, is the sexiest thing ever. This is my belief. Strategic revelation of skin, the tease, is what is sexy. Not the 20-year-old all legs, all boobs, nothing to the imagination. To me, it’s the young girls who need to show it all who look desperate. They often are desperate. They want to find husbands before their looks are gone, not understanding that you cultivate your good looks over a lifetime by respecting your body. So long story longer: follow fashion, don’t be a slave. Do show skin, strategically. Don’t let society force you into conservative, old lady clothes just because you’re a certain age, and don’t try to emulate some teen or twenty-something’s ideal of sexy. There is a sexy for grown woman and you should be all over that until they nail the coffin shut. Fix major signs of ageing. Get you’re a** in the gym. The fact that you’re a mom, are in menopause or “too old” or “nobody cares anymore what I look like” are not excuses for letting yourself go. Only crazy or depressed people don’t care about how they look. Lastly, there are no ugly or invisible women, only lazy ones. I think Yves St. Laurent said that.

How do you "take care of your decolletage?"

Think 'Real Housewives of OC' - all of them have spotted decolletage and flaunt it- not a good look. If you are free of sun damage, the above look works. If not, skip it.

[Anonymous]

I have a differnt opinion on the mini skirt. I don't understand the need for women to "flaunt" anything at any age. Why must we "show off" our so-called assets? I didn't wear miniskirts in my twenties because I wasn't interested in attracting frat-boy-types. I don't see the need to wear them now no matter how thin I am. You can see my legs just fine in an above the knee length pencil skirt. I agree with a pp who said something about dignity. That's something we should strive for our entire lives, not how long we can squeeze into a mini.

[Anonymous]

Riddle me this - I am a 24-year-old woman. My fiance and I live in a townhouse complex, and the 37-year-old single mom who lives across the street drives me off the wall. (Ok, her personality is HORRENDOUS, but that is just a side bar). She has two kids - one 9-year-old girl and one 12-year-old boy - and I will admit that she has a rockin body. However...

When I moved in with my fiance, I gained a few "love" pounds, which put me nowhere near being fat, but it was definitely not fun gaining 15 pounds when I have been thin my whole life. She, coincidentally, lost weight due to some freakish internal infection in one of her organs (which she did not end up getting treated by the doctor due to the fact that she was losing weight - great role model right there). She ended up becoming insanely thin. More and more I noticed she would come over to my house and "ask" how she looked in her glittery jeans (not joking about that either - they had to have been girls jeans), in her uber mini-skirts, in her midriff-baring tops and barely-there shorts. She would go out to bars and come over the next day to brag about how 22-year-old guys hit on her the night before. THAT is insecurity. Not only that's, but it was blatantly obvious that she had some ego thing to prove to me since I am 13 years younger than her.

Well, oddly enough, I am now in the best shape of my life and have lost all of the weight that I gained, and she no longer comes knocking on my door to "show off" her disgustingly skanky clothes. THAT is a prime example of a ridiculously desperate older woman who needs to learn how to dress her age.

[Anonymous]

Oh, age-appropriateness. By all means continue to dress in trendy clothes. I do, and I'm later forties. I've been told, without promting whatever, that I look 36 or thereabouts. But even if I didn't and I wasn't 120 lbs at 5'5" I would still wear fashion-forward looks that flatter my shape.

The truth is, society has an aversion to older people - women in particular - looking in any way remotely with it or sexual. It's old puritain thinking about women that once you're a certain age you're a mom and you should button it all up and get dour and matronly. This is best demonstrated in the way women over 40 are treated in entertainment. Once upon a time, Madonna was the biggest thing going. She was hot and under forty and adored. The minute she turned 40 the knives came out. Cover up Madonna! You're old Madonna! Never mind that for the past decade she has looked phenomenal for a woman of any age. Somewhere they're attacking Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez, too.

You have a choice: you can go with the flow, cut off your hair, cover up your body and fade into the wood work; or you can keep on living and wearing what you like. You will be criticized one way or another, precisely because you are now in that category of "older woman." Society really has no role for us other than mom and grandmother and wife dutifully in the background. You are not supposed to be sexy anymore. Your flesh is repulsive to society. That's why you get all this fashion advice about covering up your parts. Ironically even if they are perfectly good parts apparently there's an expiration date on them.

Don't listen to that BS. Do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Riddle me this - I am a 24-year-old woman. My fiance and I live in a townhouse complex, and the 37-year-old single mom who lives across the street drives me off the wall. (Ok, her personality is HORRENDOUS, but that is just a side bar). She has two kids - one 9-year-old girl and one 12-year-old boy - and I will admit that she has a rockin body. However...

When I moved in with my fiance, I gained a few "love" pounds, which put me nowhere near being fat, but it was definitely not fun gaining 15 pounds when I have been thin my whole life. She, coincidentally, lost weight due to some freakish internal infection in one of her organs (which she did not end up getting treated by the doctor due to the fact that she was losing weight - great role model right there). She ended up becoming insanely thin. More and more I noticed she would come over to my house and "ask" how she looked in her glittery jeans (not joking about that either - they had to have been girls jeans), in her uber mini-skirts, in her midriff-baring tops and barely-there shorts. She would go out to bars and come over the next day to brag about how 22-year-old guys hit on her the night before. THAT is insecurity. Not only that's, but it was blatantly obvious that she had some ego thing to prove to me since I am 13 years younger than her.

Well, oddly enough, I am now in the best shape of my life and have lost all of the weight that I gained, and she no longer comes knocking on my door to "show off" her disgustingly skanky clothes. THAT is a prime example of a ridiculously desperate older woman who needs to learn how to dress her age.

Sounds like you're jealous of an older woman with a hot bod.

[Anonymous]

Here's my view: Wear what looks good on you, trendy or classic; wear clothes that fit you well; wear clothes that make you feel good; don't wear many trends at once; never show cleavage and lots of leg at the same time; miniskirts are okay if you have the body and top half is more covered; don't wear clothes that are super short/super tight clothes. Enjoy your clothes and participate in fashion as much or as little as you wish to.

I even shop at Forever 21 where I avoid the miniskirts, tight/short tops and bottoms but I've bought decent knee length dresses, tops, leggings and accessories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am turning 42 soon. I have always like to dress in slightly trendy clothes. I will sometimes wear skinny jeans with flats and a long sweater with a belt. I like to also wear wide-leg pants. I wear cashmere sweater-hoodies too. I like wearing cargo pants from BCBG. I like to get my clothes from Bluefly.com or Anthropologie. And sometimes I can find a thing or two in the Misses section of Nordstrom. But I don't shop at Forever 21 or Abercrombie or any place that markets to young 20's. I'm about 5'5" and 112 lbs so my body can pull it off. People are shocked when they find out my age and tell me I look about 10 years younger. But why do I still feel like I'm crossing the line with my trendy clothing? I wonder why women need to start wearing all LLBean as soon as they turn 40 (not to say I don't like LLBean for some items). I saw a TV show on Valerie Phlame, that ex-CIA agent who was Joe Wilson's wife- and she is 46 years old. She was wearing tight jeans and a trendy belt. She looked gorgeous and not a day older than 35. So clearly some older women do dress trendy. But is it socially acceptable?

I don't think most "women wear LLBean as soon as they turn 40". It's not the clothes, but the body. You can always tell middle age body even from far away, even if it is in great shape. It will never look like a teenager's body. Celebrate your age and wear what looks good and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

You're ridiculously desperate to post this.

Anonymous wrote:Riddle me this - I am a 24-year-old woman. My fiance and I live in a townhouse complex, and the 37-year-old single mom who lives across the street drives me off the wall. (Ok, her personality is HORRENDOUS, but that is just a side bar). She has two kids - one 9-year-old girl and one 12-year-old boy - and I will admit that she has a rockin body. However...

When I moved in with my fiance, I gained a few "love" pounds, which put me nowhere near being fat, but it was definitely not fun gaining 15 pounds when I have been thin my whole life. She, coincidentally, lost weight due to some freakish internal infection in one of her organs (which she did not end up getting treated by the doctor due to the fact that she was losing weight - great role model right there). She ended up becoming insanely thin. More and more I noticed she would come over to my house and "ask" how she looked in her glittery jeans (not joking about that either - they had to have been girls jeans), in her uber mini-skirts, in her midriff-baring tops and barely-there shorts. She would go out to bars and come over the next day to brag about how 22-year-old guys hit on her the night before. THAT is insecurity. Not only that's, but it was blatantly obvious that she had some ego thing to prove to me since I am 13 years younger than her.

Well, oddly enough, I am now in the best shape of my life and have lost all of the weight that I gained, and she no longer comes knocking on my door to "show off" her disgustingly skanky clothes. THAT is a prime example of a ridiculously desperate older woman who needs to learn how to dress her age.

[Anonymous]

I'm 25, in excellent shape, and have been wearing LL bean as long as I can remember. Classic does not equal old/dowdy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 25, in excellent shape, and have been wearing LL bean as long as I can remember. Classic does not equal old/dowdy.

http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/68125?feat=507743-GN2

whoa! Watch out, men! Killer knees ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 25, in excellent shape, and have been wearing LL bean as long as I can remember. Classic does not equal old/dowdy.

http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/68125?feat=507743-GN2

whoa! Watch out, men! Killer knees ahead.

And your point is...?

[Anonymous]

How does the "no miniskirt" rule apply to short shorts? I am almost 36 and love me some short shorts. Not a$$-cheek hanging out daisy dukes but 3.5" shorts from J. Crew. I like to wear them with a nice platform espadrille as I am short (5'4" and 124 lbs, about a size 2-4) and they make my legs look longer. Is it tacky or tasteful?

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack but this is an example of what I'm talking about: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Navigation/Sale/AllProducts/PRDOVR~35080/99102297451/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~~17~15~all~mode+matchallany~~~~~shorts/35080.jsp

[Anonymous]

Those of you who're wondering about what looks good/is appropriate for your age . . . once you have a teenager, you'll get lots of advice on what you should be wearing! Seriously, it's great to have an adult daughter to make suggestions--I'm very appreciative! She has a lot of fashion sense and seems to know what's flattering for my age and figure so that I feel good about what I'm wearing and neither frumpy nor silly. It's great to have a backup opinion.

[Anonymous]

I'm still waiting for that answer about why you should avoid wearing a cami or tank top with an open front sweater. Seems like a completely mainstream thing to wear whether you are 15, 35, 55. As seen all over here for instance,

http://www.anntaylor.com/ann/cat/AT-Apparel/AT-Sweaters/cata000011;jsessionid=5859E2AAC5B42711255CABB59F24DF2C