Dressing Young When You're Getting Older

[Anonymous]

Bottom line is, you walk a thin line between classy and trashy. I see MANY stylish women who look great in their 40s, who clearly know the difference between class and trash.

However, in my circle we have one woman with an AMAZING 42yo body, who looks like an expensive escort. She is all trash and quite honestly makes a fool out of herself. She crosses the line into looking desparate. If people are constantly looking at you, it might be that you are a traveling side show and that is not a good look. Think;

Carmen Electra NO
Catherine Zeta Jones YES

[Anonymous]

As another PP said, my only dressing rule is the shorter the skirt the lower the heel. If you stick to that, and always wool opaque tights with mini skirts in the winter, perfecto!

[Anonymous]

Michelle Obama is 47 and, as we all know, she has great arms - why shouldn't she show them off? I'm planning on showing off whatever body parts of mine are still in decent shape as long as I can. For instance, my arms and legs are good (I'm 49) so I'll wear shorter skirts and sleeveless when appropriate. Ain't nobody going to see my stomach though, even though I'm in good shape - 3 kids have done their work on that particular part and my 2 piece days are over. I was looking at pictures the other day from when I was 36 and had 2 small kids - I looked terrible because I didn't care at that particular point in my life. I vowed after that not to look dowdy again and I think I dress better now I did 10 years ago and look better in my clothes.

[Anonymous]

18:21 - you got it! Pick one great body part of yours and flaunt it! NOT if it is your CRACK of course, that look does no one well - and is 10 years outdated! None of us need to see that I beg you, I need to be able eat my lunch. You would be surprised.

Most of us inevitably get heavier after kids. Metabolism sucks. This doesn't have to mean dowdy all the way. Nor does it have to mean mini skirts with "cankles". Certainly you can find one part to emphasize.

PP, if "they" are staring, it might be a good thing I would not necessarily trust women here to not be catty, you know. I would judge instead by the male reaction. If you get positive (not extreme) feedback, go with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am turning 42 soon. I have always like to dress in slightly trendy clothes. I will sometimes wear skinny jeans with flats and a long sweater with a belt. I like to also wear wide-leg pants. I wear cashmere sweater-hoodies too. I like wearing cargo pants from BCBG. I like to get my clothes from Bluefly.com or Anthropologie. And sometimes I can find a thing or two in the Misses section of Nordstrom. But I don't shop at Forever 21 or Abercrombie or any place that markets to young 20's. I'm about 5'5" and 112 lbs so my body can pull it off. People are shocked when they find out my age and tell me I look about 10 years younger. But why do I still feel like I'm crossing the line with my trendy clothing? I wonder why women need to start wearing all LLBean as soon as they turn 40 (not to say I don't like LLBean for some items). I saw a TV show on Valerie Phlame, that ex-CIA agent who was Joe Wilson's wife- and she is 46 years old. She was wearing tight jeans and a trendy belt. She looked gorgeous and not a day older than 35. So clearly some older women do dress trendy. But is it socially acceptable?

I think of thin women wearing plain [no decals, embroidery type stuff] skinny jeans with a long sweater and conservative belt a CLASSIC NOT TRENDY. Like a nice Juicy hoody and pants without the writing on the but, back, or front. Have to be thin or gently curved and go up a size so you don't look competitive with the teens and twenty somethings.

At 5'5" and 112 you are better able to carry off the look than many teens --- mine is shorter and weighs less. Stay away from layered camis and wife beaters under open or button front sweaters . Also keep away from minis with tights . You are not crossing a line. Enjoy your clothes. There is no reason why you can't buy some stuff at Amercrombie or Ruhle or even Hollister. The jeans are well made at A and I as the main family launderer have thrown in the wash and dryer even sweaters [cotton cashmere blends] that held up wonderfully after multiple washings.

Why?

[Anonymous]

zumbamama wrote:I think you can dress sexy in a classy way without looking trashy. It's all how you pull the outfit together.

I have seen some pretty hot 50 somethings sporting A-line minis with and a nice blouse and cute shoes or fitted business suits with a slight hint of cleave. And then I have seen women wearing 5-inch stilettos with everything spilling out of their too-tight clothes on a cold day. There is a difference between sexy and "slutty."

OK you had me until you got to "fitted business suits with a slight hint of cleave". What is up with that? Nothing looks less professional to me than ANY cleavage in the workplace. There are plenty of other times when you can do that just not at work. Sheesh!

[Anonymous]

I think it's about how you put the outfit together and wearing what flatters your body. I saw a woman the other day who was about 60ish. She had on a blazer with a nice shirt underneath with the sleeves slightly rolled. Boyfriend jeans cuffed at the bottom and really nice pair of suede loafers. She had no surgery on her face (that I could tell at least) and she had her hair in a really nice short cut and was letting the gray come through. She was truly beautiful and it was a very classy look. She really knew how to dress for her body!

[Anonymous]

dress according to your figure not your age!!

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm puzzled why you would mention wide-leg pants as being "young". I thought they were a classic, I'm thinking Lauren Bacall. I'm 42 and wear them. Are other people thinking that I'm trying to dress young? Hmmm....

[Anonymous]

One thing that does look bad on old white skin is bright colors. Some garish colors can accentuate lines and shadows and bags!!

And only do sleeveless and stockingless if your arms/legs are toned and not too saggy. These rules should be for ALL ages!!

[Anonymous]

I can't personally wear skinny jeans - my thighs don't allow it - but I think if you're wearing them like you describe, that's not a too-young look. that's probably a good look for you. I think if an older woman (for context, i'm 38) has good legs, she should show them off in slightly-above the knee skirts, but not be too bare up top also. (lots of cleavage + lots of leg = mariah carey, ew.) Michelle Obama has shown us it's ok to rock the bare arms if you have good arms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now to all the ladies: do you really want to start dressing like a Top Shop model because you’re 40? And for all you with the body changes and the baby fat, etc., etc., is it really necessary to go all conservative? You do know that there are trendy looks that aren’t short and tight, right? And that you don’t have to have perfectly toned arms to wear a cap sleeve or even no sleeves? I’m not cut like Michelle Obama or skinny as a stick. I’m a size 10 and I wear up-to-date clothes that are neither slutty or teenager-y. The key is trendy accessories, tops, jeans, hairdo, and subtle modern makeup. AND if your face is wrinkled or caving in from volume loss and you have the tell tale wrinkled turkey neck and old crone hands and feet to get those taken care of. It’s a myth that you have to look perfect or super young to wear trendy, fashionable clothes.

Also, you are not competing with anybody! Why do people say that? Dressing nice is about looking good not competing for male attention with 20-year-olds. You can’t compete with them on that score, just like they can’t compete with you when it comes to experience, wisdom and sophistication. So please get that out of your head. You have to understand as an older woman is that 40 and beyond is when we truly come into our power. That’s why the powers that be want you to feel ashamed of yourself and like you’re “competing” to shut you the hell up and push you in the background. The best thing you can do as an older woman is to get in the gym, reclaim your body and your health, and wear what the f* you want. Being strong and beautiful, especially at 40 and beyond is powerful because most women just let themselves go. I never understand this! You are still a woman at 40. Why would you wear drab, hideous clothes and slink into the background at the prime of your life?

As for micro minis, I personally think they are for little girls. A fitted pencil skirt that hits at the knee or just slightly above is far more sexy, especially at night with a stiletto heel. If you have taken good care of your décolletage, as you should, a plunging neck line with cleavage – just enough, not spill over, is the sexiest thing ever. This is my belief. Strategic revelation of skin, the tease, is what is sexy. Not the 20-year-old all legs, all boobs, nothing to the imagination. To me, it’s the young girls who need to show it all who look desperate. They often are desperate. They want to find husbands before their looks are gone, not understanding that you cultivate your good looks over a lifetime by respecting your body. So long story longer: follow fashion, don’t be a slave. Do show skin, strategically. Don’t let society force you into conservative, old lady clothes just because you’re a certain age, and don’t try to emulate some teen or twenty-something’s ideal of sexy. There is a sexy for grown woman and you should be all over that until they nail the coffin shut. Fix major signs of ageing. Get you’re a** in the gym. The fact that you’re a mom, are in menopause or “too old” or “nobody cares anymore what I look like” are not excuses for letting yourself go. Only crazy or depressed people don’t care about how they look. Lastly, there are no ugly or invisible women, only lazy ones. I think Yves St. Laurent said that.

How do you "take care of your decolletage?"

[Anonymous]

Sunscreen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am turning 42 soon. I have always like to dress in slightly trendy clothes. I will sometimes wear skinny jeans with flats and a long sweater with a belt. I like to also wear wide-leg pants. I wear cashmere sweater-hoodies too. I like wearing cargo pants from BCBG. I like to get my clothes from Bluefly.com or Anthropologie. And sometimes I can find a thing or two in the Misses section of Nordstrom. But I don't shop at Forever 21 or Abercrombie or any place that markets to young 20's. I'm about 5'5" and 112 lbs so my body can pull it off. People are shocked when they find out my age and tell me I look about 10 years younger. But why do I still feel like I'm crossing the line with my trendy clothing? I wonder why women need to start wearing all LLBean as soon as they turn 40 (not to say I don't like LLBean for some items). I saw a TV show on Valerie Phlame, that ex-CIA agent who was Joe Wilson's wife- and she is 46 years old. She was wearing tight jeans and a trendy belt. She looked gorgeous and not a day older than 35. So clearly some older women do dress trendy. But is it socially acceptable?

I think of thin women wearing plain [no decals, embroidery type stuff] skinny jeans with a long sweater and conservative belt a CLASSIC NOT TRENDY. Like a nice Juicy hoody and pants without the writing on the but, back, or front. Have to be thin or gently curved and go up a size so you don't look competitive with the teens and twenty somethings.

At 5'5" and 112 you are better able to carry off the look than many teens --- mine is shorter and weighs less. Stay away from layered camis and wife beaters under open or button front sweaters . Also keep away from minis with tights . You are not crossing a line. Enjoy your clothes. There is no reason why you can't buy some stuff at Amercrombie or Ruhle or even Hollister. The jeans are well made at A and I as the main family launderer have thrown in the wash and dryer even sweaters [cotton cashmere blends] that held up wonderfully after multiple washings.

Why?

What are "wife beaters"? - I don't think I like that nickname.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am turning 42 soon. I have always like to dress in slightly trendy clothes. I will sometimes wear skinny jeans with flats and a long sweater with a belt. I like to also wear wide-leg pants. I wear cashmere sweater-hoodies too. I like wearing cargo pants from BCBG. I like to get my clothes from Bluefly.com or Anthropologie. And sometimes I can find a thing or two in the Misses section of Nordstrom. But I don't shop at Forever 21 or Abercrombie or any place that markets to young 20's. I'm about 5'5" and 112 lbs so my body can pull it off. People are shocked when they find out my age and tell me I look about 10 years younger. But why do I still feel like I'm crossing the line with my trendy clothing? I wonder why women need to start wearing all LLBean as soon as they turn 40 (not to say I don't like LLBean for some items). I saw a TV show on Valerie Phlame, that ex-CIA agent who was Joe Wilson's wife- and she is 46 years old. She was wearing tight jeans and a trendy belt. She looked gorgeous and not a day older than 35. So clearly some older women do dress trendy. But is it socially acceptable?

I think of thin women wearing plain [no decals, embroidery type stuff] skinny jeans with a long sweater and conservative belt a CLASSIC NOT TRENDY. Like a nice Juicy hoody and pants without the writing on the but, back, or front. Have to be thin or gently curved and go up a size so you don't look competitive with the teens and twenty somethings.

At 5'5" and 112 you are better able to carry off the look than many teens --- mine is shorter and weighs less. Stay away from layered camis and wife beaters under open or button front sweaters . Also keep away from minis with tights . You are not crossing a line. Enjoy your clothes. There is no reason why you can't buy some stuff at Amercrombie or Ruhle or even Hollister. The jeans are well made at A and I as the main family launderer have thrown in the wash and dryer even sweaters [cotton cashmere blends] that held up wonderfully after multiple washings.

Why?

What are "wife beaters"? - I don't think I like that nickname.

Tank top. So named after the cheap white men's Hanes type undershirt.