Child upset about never getting an ES

[Anonymous]

Alternate viewpoint here: I have twins in fourth grade at a MoCo elementary. One gets primarily ES grades and a few P's, the other gets virtually all P's with an occasional ES (and an occasional I). I only have a sample size of two, but I would offer that the "ES child" does considerably more advanced work than the "P child." They both understand the assignments and answer everything correctly, but the ES child offers much more commentary, description, analysis and even provides counter examples for the teacher, etc. Yes, even on math assignments.

Both my kids were labeled G&T and they both seem smart to me. One is just more academically advanced.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, what a difficult situation. I think the only answer is that your daughter has to learn not to be a grade-grubber. She needs to accept that she is not getting the highest grade, and try to do her best anyway. The fact that it is arbitrary is just a fact of life. Later on it life I think it is an important skill to learn how to function and comply under arbitrary systems. But it would be really sad to be doing this in elementary school. She should be focused on learning and mastery rather than grades.

[Anonymous]

She needs to accept that she is not getting the highest grade, and try to do her best anyway.

I just find this so, so strange. Why is it bad for a child to want to get the highest grade? Why is it bad for a child to work hard to get a better grade? Do you all think that we should give kids tests when they are 5 and tell them what they can and can not be when they grow up? Should we start telling some kids early on not to worry about college but learn a skill because they will never excel in academics?

It shouldn't be easy but why would anyone tell a young child that grades don't matter? I thought school was supposed to incentivize kids to learn and work hard.

Isn't the whole American motto something about education giving everyone an opportunity? If you send the message to a child that they shouldn't be a "grade grubber" and shouldn't care about grades, they will not do their best. Why would they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She needs to accept that she is not getting the highest grade, and try to do her best anyway.

I just find this so, so strange. Why is it bad for a child to want to get the highest grade? Why is it bad for a child to work hard to get a better grade? Do you all think that we should give kids tests when they are 5 and tell them what they can and can not be when they grow up? Should we start telling some kids early on not to worry about college but learn a skill because they will never excel in academics?

It shouldn't be easy but why would anyone tell a young child that grades don't matter? I thought school was supposed to incentivize kids to learn and work hard.

Isn't the whole American motto something about education giving everyone an opportunity? If you send the message to a child that they shouldn't be a "grade grubber" and shouldn't care about grades, they will not do their best. Why would they?

You would only do your best if you got a good grade for it? If so, there's something wrong here, and it's not the grading system.

[Anonymous]

I hate that my child always feels bad for trying to do more than what is expected for a P and always misses the elusive ES.

I don't think the PP wants to understand what kids feel or just doesn't care. Kids that try to please a teacher or try to work harder to get good grades are not only doing it for the grade but the grade is an important reward.

This system is very bad. Whomever came up with this system should be fired.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't agree more with what the PP said. What would be the process to formally complain about this to try to get it changed? Perhaps a petition, like what was done with the school start times?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that my child always feels bad for trying to do more than what is expected for a P and always misses the elusive ES.

I don't think the PP wants to understand what kids feel or just doesn't care. Kids that try to please a teacher or try to work harder to get good grades are not only doing it for the grade but the grade is an important reward.

This system is very bad. Whomever came up with this system should be fired.

Actually, I do understand that some kids feel this way. You do not seem to understand that many kids do not feel this way.