Child upset about never getting an ES

[Anonymous]

I've basically ignored the whole ES controversy. I don't expect them and don't really care about them. DD, on the other hand, cares greatly about them. DD is in 2nd grade. She is smart but not gifted or extraordinary in any way. She does work very hard. She had tears in her eyes the other day because even when she follows the instructions that list what you need to do for an ES, she never gets one. The instructions will list how many sentences or what you need to do for an ES.

I asked the teacher about this. The teacher confirmed that yes she is technically doing what is listed on the sheet to get an ES and her work is very good but there are 1-2 kids in the class who just are very gifted and do extremely better then DD. They get the ES grades and DD will probably never get one. She knows how hard DD works on this and that she was putting extra effort into trying to get one. The teacher's advice was to try to convince DD to stop trying and try to gently tell her that she will never get one.

I appreciated the teacher's honesty. What she said is consistent with everything I have from others on how ES is given.

I didn't care about this ES thing before but what an awful message to send to a young kid. I can't believe that I need to tell my DD to stop trying and it simply will never matter how hard she works.

[Anonymous]

I agree that that's a bad message to send out to a child, however did you ask the teacher what those 2 "exceptional" kids do to warrant an ES? Do they put in extra effort on their homework? Do they go out of the way to do more than what is asked? Do they score higher on their tests than the other kids in the class? I mean, there has to be some basis other than "oh they're just brilliant" as to why she's giving those kids an ES.

[Anonymous]

Wait, they use a bell curve on grade school grades now?

[Anonymous]

So, your kid's teacher just told you that no matter how hard she works, she will never be more than average--so you she should stop working hard?

WTF? Your kid's teacher is a major bitch!

[Anonymous]

I would ask for examples of the ES work so you can see what those two children are producing. I don't think a teacher should say if you do X you will get and ES..but then not give it. How could you tell your child she will never get one. Only Larla and Lola will get them. They are gifted. You are not. Your career choices/prospects are limited.

[Anonymous]

And you just accepted that answer from the teacher?

[Anonymous]

I think I might talk to the principal about the message that teacher is sending. Bad

[Anonymous]

What is an ES?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've basically ignored the whole ES controversy. I don't expect them and don't really care about them. DD, on the other hand, cares greatly about them. DD is in 2nd grade. She is smart but not gifted or extraordinary in any way. She does work very hard. She had tears in her eyes the other day because even when she follows the instructions that list what you need to do for an ES, she never gets one. The instructions will list how many sentences or what you need to do for an ES.

I asked the teacher about this. The teacher confirmed that yes she is technically doing what is listed on the sheet to get an ES and her work is very good but there are 1-2 kids in the class who just are very gifted and do extremely better then DD. They get the ES grades and DD will probably never get one. She knows how hard DD works on this and that she was putting extra effort into trying to get one. The teacher's advice was to try to convince DD to stop trying and try to gently tell her that she will never get one.

I appreciated the teacher's honesty. What she said is consistent with everything I have from others on how ES is given.

I didn't care about this ES thing before but what an awful message to send to a young kid. I can't believe that I need to tell my DD to stop trying and it simply will never matter how hard she works.

This is not an ES problem. This is a teacher problem. As in: there is a problem with this teacher.

[Anonymous]

Pardon my ignorance, but what is and ES. I'm assuming it mean extra special or something similar? If that is the case, it is a bad idea and downright rude for a teacher to be telling a parent or worse the child that they will never get to that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've basically ignored the whole ES controversy. I don't expect them and don't really care about them. DD, on the other hand, cares greatly about them. DD is in 2nd grade. She is smart but not gifted or extraordinary in any way. She does work very hard. She had tears in her eyes the other day because even when she follows the instructions that list what you need to do for an ES, she never gets one. The instructions will list how many sentences or what you need to do for an ES.

I asked the teacher about this. The teacher confirmed that yes she is technically doing what is listed on the sheet to get an ES and her work is very good but there are 1-2 kids in the class who just are very gifted and do extremely better then DD. They get the ES grades and DD will probably never get one. She knows how hard DD works on this and that she was putting extra effort into trying to get one. The teacher's advice was to try to convince DD to stop trying and try to gently tell her that she will never get one.

I appreciated the teacher's honesty. What she said is consistent with everything I have from others on how ES is given.

I didn't care about this ES thing before but what an awful message to send to a young kid. I can't believe that I need to tell my DD to stop trying and it simply will never matter how hard she works.

This is not an ES problem. This is a teacher problem. As in: there is a problem with this teacher.

Absolutely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pardon my ignorance, but what is and ES. I'm assuming it mean extra special or something similar? If that is the case, it is a bad idea and downright rude for a teacher to be telling a parent or worse the child that they will never get to that point.

ES is the highest grade you can receive on the elementary report card under MCPS new guidelines.

[Anonymous]

ES stands for "Exceptional at the grade-level standard"

I agree with the others...there is something off here. The teacher isn't communicating well. While I don't think 2nd graders should be focused on grades...I can see why your DD is getting discouraged. I'd want to get some specifics from the teacher. And maybe the teacher needs to drop the instructions on how to get an ES and just give instructions for earning a P (proficient). Then she can be more subjective in giving ES.

I would tell your DD that she is doing everything that is expected of her. With my son, I don't distinguish between an ES and P - its all good to me at this age.

[Anonymous]

ES means exceeds standards. My two cents is whether she exceeds by a little or a lot, she still exceeds and should still receive the ES. Your teacher states that she exceeds, so I don't understand the relevance of whether there are one or two brilliant kids who exceed standards by a greater degree. I agree this is a teacher problem.

[Anonymous]

What? That is ridiculous. I would definitely not encourage your daughter to stop trying.

My son was also upset about the lack of ES in 2nd grade at first. I told him he just needs to try his best and I make an effort to point out myself when he did a good job on something. This helped and he has stopped getting upset.

Its odd that your teacher is laying out what is needed for ES but then seems to have a fixed view already of who will get it. At our school they don't mention anything about ES and it is almost impossible to get. My son and I are both over it and instead concentrate on his learning and personal effort.