Inviting irreligious and Jewish/Muslim friends to a church event.

[Anonymous]

We used to attend youth "church bus" events with my neighbors - they would pick kids up Sunday afternoon and do cookies, punch, outdoor games, crafts etc. and maybe the craft or storytime would be something like the baby Jesus story or Joseph's rainbow coat or Moses or Noah. I went for the cookies. It was only years later I realized that the church parents were getting it on at home and enjoying perhaps their sole weekly period of non-chore adult time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a lifelong Episcopalian. I went to lock ins a my church as a kid, as a tween and young teen. Lock in refers to the doors were locked so kids if they left they couldn't come back, no coming and going. Ours were slumber parties, there were movies, checkers, card games, lots of junk food, etc. No bible beating mumbo jumbo.

I agree it depends on the denomination. Episcopalian church's are pretty welcoming to all others and laid back, but Anglians are a bit preachy. My fears would be supervision, not whether my child would suddenly want rosary beads or a Torah or whatever.

Find out about the church, call the youth minister and ask. I don't think there is a widespread conspiracy theory to convert Tweens to new religions via lock ins.

I was just going to write something very similar. I was raised episcopalian. As part of the youth groups activities, we would have lock-ins. They were just fun slumber parties with little or no religious talk. As PP said, I'd be more concerned that there was adequate supervision and the thought of an attempted religious conversion would never have crossed my mind- although I'm sure it depends on the denomination. I would make sure that I asked how many adults will be present and if they will make sure everyone stays together (no sneaking off to dark corners of the building for illicit activity).

[Anonymous]

My youth group (I grew up in Bethesda in a protestant denomination) had lock-ins where we ate junk food, watched old Vincent Price horror movies and played hide-and-seek on the church grounds. I think our youth group leaders usually tried to have some sort of conversation about issues facing our age group and how to behave ethically/morally/kindly, but it was never a conversion kind of event. I occasionally invited friends to this, and to our youth group church ski weekend, and I don't think any of them ever felt pressure to join the church.

[Anonymous]

My MIL has an adopted son who is 11. He just attended a lock in at some Christian church (don't remember denomination). Had a blast playing video games all night long and eating junk food.

[Anonymous]

Exhausted teens subject to religious pressure.

I don't see any good coming from it, even if that's not their intention.

They do lock-ins at public HS too. I find it odd though in that case I didn't prevent my kids from going. I don't know why it's considered a good idea. It's not like my teens were going to be out all night. Instead they're driving home sleep deprived.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read thread, but a lock in is basically just a slumber party. Unless it's a Baptist church, there probably won't be much religion discussed. As long as it's just presbyterian or Episcopalian or something, it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for goodness sakes! The bad churches are out for your children!! Run and hide!!!
It will be a bunch of good kids playing basketball and eating pizza with a lot of adult supervision. Oh and maybe someone might tell your child that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

I think the OP's fear is that the latter statement is untrue, particularly if the child hears the message that her current religion is inadequate.

The Presbyterian church I attended as a kid encouraged us to invite friends to youth group events. They wouldn't get the hard sell, but there were discussions of religious themes, and the goal was always convetrsion, with the understanding that it would be a long road.

Were u pca or pcusa?

[Anonymous]

If you google lock-ins you can certainly get some example of conversions or people feeling pressured to believe. On the other hand, sometimes they are benign. I think it totally depends on the church and the ministers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for goodness sakes! The bad churches are out for your children!! Run and hide!!!
It will be a bunch of good kids playing basketball and eating pizza with a lot of adult supervision. Oh and maybe someone might tell your child that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

I think the OP's fear is that the latter statement is untrue, particularly if the child hears the message that her current religion is inadequate.

The Presbyterian church I attended as a kid encouraged us to invite friends to youth group events. They wouldn't get the hard sell, but there were discussions of religious themes, and the goal was always convetrsion, with the understanding that it would be a long road.

Were u pca or pcusa?

PCUSA. Right across the street from UC Berkeley. Cheerful intellectuals, but ultimately, they did want your kid to become a Christian, albeit not via hellfire and brimstone, but rather through constant exposure to the goodness of the noble church members, many of whom were cheating on their wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another musing here...at Christmas especially but year round, too, we have crosses in our home, Bible on the mantle, a beautiful pen and ink drawing of Mary and Baby Jesus, at Christmas we have a manger scene, etc etc. I Are you also against having your child at a religious environment such as my home?
I understand your concern, sort of, but am wondering where the line would be

Not OP, but the issue isn't one of being around people who are religious, or being in an environment where the religion is apparent. It's an issue of whether the intent of the event is to convert or proselytize, or whether there will be a significant religious component to the event. Presumably when you invite other kids to your home you're not having conversations with them about Jesus or asking them to pray with you, but those things are possible (or likely, depending on the church) at the event OP's daughter was invited to.

OP here.

Thanks of explaining that so well. I am open to my daughter exploring religions and being involved in religious ceremonies, I just don't want her to feel like she's being pressured in any sort of way.

[Anonymous]

In all seriousness, what's wrong with allowing your children to be exposed to others' views? I was raised by an atheist and non-practicing Catholic. They agreed to let us decide whether we were interested in pursuing any sort of religion in our lives. My best friend growing up was part of an extremely religious Evangelical-type church (she's even a Missionary now!) From a pretty young age, I was allowed to go to church with her whenever I wanted, as well as attend services elsewhere with friends. It was a wonderful way to meet other people and experience different things. I'm now 34, would classify myself as agnostic/atheist, and hope to allow my children (ages 1 and 3) similar latitude.

[Anonymous]

PP here - I should also note that the church I attended with my friend was certainly proselytizing. I was invited multiple times to go to the front of the church and take Jesus into my heart. A good learning experience about peer pressure, frankly.

[Anonymous]

I would NOT allow my child to go to such event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, what's wrong with allowing your children to be exposed to others' views? I was raised by an atheist and non-practicing Catholic. They agreed to let us decide whether we were interested in pursuing any sort of religion in our lives. My best friend growing up was part of an extremely religious Evangelical-type church (she's even a Missionary now!) From a pretty young age, I was allowed to go to church with her whenever I wanted, as well as attend services elsewhere with friends. It was a wonderful way to meet other people and experience different things. I'm now 34, would classify myself as agnostic/atheist, and hope to allow my children (ages 1 and 3) similar latitude.

+1 It is good to be exposed to the beliefs of others with whom you do not agree. If you alliw them to explore in little doses ( a 12 hour lock in being a good example), they can come home and discuss it with you - what they liked, what they didn't like, what puzzled them, etc. This will give them good analytic skills for dealing with the world when they are out on their own.

[Anonymous]

alliw/allow