Inviting irreligious and Jewish/Muslim friends to a church event.

[Anonymous]

It won't be a dangerous situation (most likely) but it could easily be an uncomfortable one. It could just be a fun night with friends, or, it could be a fun night with friends that includes being asked to publicly accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Some evangelical churches offer prizes to the youth who bring in the most friends.

[Anonymous]

I did lock-ins as a teen. There was never any brainwashing happening or recruiting or conversions. The youth pastor was usually there and he would talk a bit about God and kind of a pump you up for Jesus talk, and an invitation that if anyone wants more info, to ask. Then a night of good clean fun - usually movie that was not violent/sexually driven, lots of pizza and laughing.

It is a church, so the focus is on connections and having fun but they also care about the spiritual self (hence it being church) so that gets mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won't be a dangerous situation (most likely) but it could easily be an uncomfortable one. It could just be a fun night with friends, or, it could be a fun night with friends that includes being asked to publicly accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Some evangelical churches offer prizes to the youth who bring in the most friends.

Agree with this, and therefore it depends not only on your comfort level but on how old your kid is. I wouldn't put a 9-year-old in this position. A mature 12-year-old, maybe, if I'd discussed it with her ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you let your kid go to a bowling party in fear that they would then be obsessed about becoming a professional bowler? Would you let your kid go to princess party in fear that they would only wear pink and tiaras for the rest of their life?
It's a party, it will be fine

Religious brainwashing is real thing.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it really depends on the church, and how you think your DD would respond. My family was Christian, but not particularly church-going or religious, and I attended many youth group events and lock-ins with my church-member friends as a pre-teen and teen. The youth group meetings were definitely more religion-focused than the lock-ins (with the exception of a weekend- long retreat that was rather religious), and the lock-ins I attended at a Baptist church in NC decidedly more religious than the ones at Methodist and Lutheran churches in western NY. In regards to the latter, I actually don't recall there being much, if anything, about religion incorporated into them at all - they were just fun events where we got to stay up all night and eat pizza and go midnight bowling.

For what it's worth, despite going to these events as a teen/pre-teen, and attending church-based summer day camps as a kid, I never bought into the Christian faith. From the earliest time I can remember thinking about it, it just wasn't believable to me, and the events I attended with friends (when religion was a real part of them) only reinforced those feelings. I later converted to Judaism as an adult. If *I* were in your shoes, I'd likely ask the other mother what could be expected at the lock-in in terms of faith-based teachings/activities - and if it wasn't likely to be a big part of the event, I'd be inclined to let my child go. I think my (also Jewish) husband would lean the other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a lock-out? I go to church but have never heard that term.

DD corrected me.

"Lock-in"

They lock the youth (this group being girls 9 to 12) into the gym to play games and watch movies. I don't know, she is excited about it.

I'm Jewish and would need more info. What KIND of games? Movies about what? Movies like ET and Annie and Grease and High School Musical? Fine. Movies about Jesus? Not fine.
Games like basketball and 7-Up? Fine. Games like religious games? Not fine.

Exactly this. I was in a Jewish youth group, and sometimes events and activities were religious and sometimes they were just watching fun completely secular movies and secular games. Some things would have been appropriate for non Jewish friends and some probably would make them uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say "it depends on the church", but in my experience a church that isn't evangelical isn't going to invite 9 year olds who don't already have a relationship with the church to over night events. The fact that they're inviting 9 year old strangers is a sign that there's probably an evangelical component.

I grew up Episcopal, and I don't ever remember a kid coming to a youth group event whose family wasn't already a member of the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was going to say "it depends on the church", but in my experience a church that isn't evangelical isn't going to invite 9 year olds who don't already have a relationship with the church to over night events. The fact that they're inviting 9 year old strangers is a sign that there's probably an evangelical component.

I grew up Episcopal, and I don't ever remember a kid coming to a youth group event whose family wasn't already a member of the church.

I remember bringing non-Catholic friends to our Catholic youth group events.

It was 9th-10th grade, and a really fun group.

No evangelizing though, just usually an opening/closing prayer and grace. The rest was g-rated fun.

[Anonymous]

Oh for goodness sakes! The bad churches are out for your children!! Run and hide!!!
It will be a bunch of good kids playing basketball and eating pizza with a lot of adult supervision. Oh and maybe someone might tell your child that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a lock-out? I go to church but have never heard that term.

DD corrected me.

"Lock-in"

They lock the youth (this group being girls 9 to 12) into the gym to play games and watch movies. I don't know, she is excited about it.

Our Lutheran church does this. The kids love it. Little if any religious content.

[Anonymous]

Our Presbyterian Church does this as well. It's mostly just for fun. Very little -- if any -- religious stuff, and certainly no conversion push.

[Anonymous]

Whoa, a bunch of conservative DCUM! If your DD wants to attend, I see no harm in having her attend. You should however, have some conversations with her around this topic, which you may have done so already. If you are atheists/agnostic then your DD probably already is very into those beliefs and it should not be a problem. Personally, I think it's a bunch of teens getting together and having a prayer before a meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for goodness sakes! The bad churches are out for your children!! Run and hide!!!
It will be a bunch of good kids playing basketball and eating pizza with a lot of adult supervision. Oh and maybe someone might tell your child that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

I think the OP's fear is that the latter statement is untrue, particularly if the child hears the message that her current religion is inadequate.

The Presbyterian church I attended as a kid encouraged us to invite friends to youth group events. They wouldn't get the hard sell, but there were discussions of religious themes, and the goal was always convetrsion, with the understanding that it would be a long road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are atheist/agnostic.

DD got invited to an event at a good friends church. I am open to my daughter attending religious ceremonies, but I fear that this particular event may be aimed at conversion. It's a "lock out", anyone know anything about them?

Well which is it?

Atheism and agnosticism are two very different things.

[Anonymous]

Just some food for thought, OP, but what would the difference be if a parent didn't want their child around your family for celebrations/sleepovers/parties because you are atheist and thought a sleepover might turn into you or your child mocking their beliefs and attempting to convert them to atheism?
Sounds kind of far-fetched and hysterical right?
I realize it is an imperfect example but just something to think about.