What do you do for a living and how is working out with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

I agree. Some of the jobettes here don't qualify as support-the-family endeavors.

I'm a lawyer and work part-time (3 days/week), mostly from home, hours are roughly 8-6. DH is an elementary school teacher and works from 8-4 during the school year, not at all during summers.

Works well for our family.

I'm thinking about working more. We are not in dire need of more money, but could use it for some home improvements and college savings.

Stop being such an ass. Does the subject line specify that one must support the family? Have some respect for people who are doing an honest job. You must really be a bitter POS to post something like that.

If I am correcting you on manners, then there is an issue as I believe I have been branded as a douchenozzle in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop being such an ass. Does the subject line specify that one must support the family? Have some respect for people who are doing an honest job. You must really be a bitter POS to post something like that.

I'm the first PP. I do think 'what do you do for a living' connotates that the job is providing a living. I'm not sure working a few days retail does that. Happy to be proven otherwise...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop being such an ass. Does the subject line specify that one must support the family? Have some respect for people who are doing an honest job. You must really be a bitter POS to post something like that.

I'm the first PP. I do think 'what do you do for a living' connotates that the job is providing a living. I'm not sure working a few days retail does that. Happy to be proven otherwise...

Maybe it does provide necessary resources for their family. Who are you to determine what those posters need financially? Furthermore, in the United States, "what do you do for a living?" means "what do you do to earn money?"

There are many people who work retail for a living. It may be a good living for them, and it may not. But being as ass about people working an honest job is not productive. There are many jobs that don't pay a lot but they are still important. So whether you feel right or wrong doesn't matter. The point is that you are an asshole, and it is unbecoming and uncalled for.

Maybe you could make more money by working LESS if you spent more time on things that are productive and less time daydreaming about how important you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

I agree. Some of the jobettes here don't qualify as support-the-family endeavors.

I'm a lawyer and work part-time (3 days/week), mostly from home, hours are roughly 8-6. DH is an elementary school teacher and works from 8-4 during the school year, not at all during summers.

Works well for our family.

I'm thinking about working more. We are not in dire need of more money, but could use it for some home improvements and college savings.

Stop being such an ass. Does the subject line specify that one must support the family? Have some respect for people who are doing an honest job. You must really be a bitter POS to post something like that.

If I am correcting you on manners, then there is an issue as I believe I have been branded as a douchenozzle in this thread.

*What Do You Do For A Living* means, "What do you do to support yourself/your family?"

By definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work 9-5 and then 9-1 after the kids go to sleep. (5-9 pm is famiky time.) On weekends I only work 9-1, and only if there are pressing deadlines.

That is a lot of working!

[Anonymous]

PP again. Dude - how am I being an ass by asking how much the household depends on their income? If the part time retail worker brings home a substantive part of the family's salary, that's wonderful and good input for the OP. If the retail job is more of a way to earn a little extra spending money, the advice may not be as useful. Nowhere did I say that person is unproductive or the job is unimportant. My grandmother supported herself after my grandmother died for many years working retail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again. Dude - how am I being an ass by asking how much the household depends on their income? If the part time retail worker brings home a substantive part of the family's salary, that's wonderful and good input for the OP. If the retail job is more of a way to earn a little extra spending money, the advice may not be as useful. Nowhere did I say that person is unproductive or the job is unimportant. My grandmother supported herself after my grandmother died for many years working retail.

Are you the pp who used the word "jobettes"?

That is very condescending, and I don't care what NY Times article you read it in. It was the tone of the post that was disgusting. If you are the pp who just asked if people worked full time then you were not being an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

I work outside the home 50 hours a week, and have two teenagers. Have worked full time other than maternity leave for the entire time I've been a parent.

Cleaning house - professional cleaner comes every other week. All of us pick up and spot clean regularly (remember, no one is home during the weekdays until late afternoon).

Groceries - Peapod

Cooking - I cook double batches about twice a week. Takeout or go out about once a week. DH cooks about once a week

Scheduling family activities - DH and I both do that.

Taking kids to doctor's appointments - DH is a fed and has way more leave, so I schedule them, he takes them

After school activities - they either stay after school to do them (high school) or do them in the evenings when either DH or I can drive.

My DH has a long commute too but he earns only about 45% of the household income so we share all of the kid and household duties.

Sorry about your sick youngest child. Neither of my kids is chronically ill and in fact neither has missed a day of school due to illness in the past two school years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT.

PP, not judging, but there's your problem right there. Many of those of us who work have partners who do more heavy lifting in the childcare/household running areas.

If you didn't make 50% of the household income, I could see that you might have an issue, but in households where both parents materially contribute to the HHI, both parents handle household and child related chores. How else could we do it? You just don't take one full time worker and one SAHP and impose a second full time job without redistributing all the non income related responsibilities. And you'd pay for childcare, even for your chronically ill child, or you wouldn't work.

[Anonymous]

Part time lawyer, what do you do and how did you get a part time skd?

[Anonymous]

The PPs who are suggesting that any job that wouldn't fully support a family is worthless are so far out of line. And "jobette"? What kind of sexist crap is that?

OP, I'm currently a postdoctoral fellow. The pay's not great, but my employer pays the full insurance premium for our outstanding coverage (I didn't pay a dime during my first pregnancy/L&D). I make enough to contribute to our mortgage, expenses, savings, etc. What's made it work is having a flexible boss who lets me WAH two days/week, and having a husband who teleworks four days/week (by choice, his current position was essentially a lateral move taken for the flexibility).

I'm pregnant with our second, and just accepted a promotion at work. I'll go to 75% time for a while after the baby's born, so won't earn much more for now, but will gain in pension, etc. And then my salary will increase substantially when I go to FT. I'm also a licensed psychologist, so may supplement my income with a bit of private practice.

Both my husband and I want to contribute to all our responsibilities (financial, child-related, household, etc.). We're both willing to earn less if that means having flexible jobs, and so we've sought or stayed in those jobs accordingly. For other families, a different division of responsibilities works better. Really, what do you *want* to do? How much do you want to work? What income will you need to offset childcare costs? Ask yourself those questions, and then go from there. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I am in print media, I work FT, but half my hours from home, so I am here when the kiddos come home from school.

Pros -- lots of flexibility, enjoy what I do.
Cons -- work some nights and low, low pay.

[Anonymous]

I left politics after I had my kid, and now I work for a big public affairs/comms firm. My hours are normal (it's rare to have a 12 hr work day) 9-6, and my pay is more. It's actually been better since I switched. My DH actually did the same thing. We switch off on day care drop off/pick up so we can both work out, work longer, see friends a few nights a week and the other gets quality kid time before bed. Other nights we are home together, and cook/hang out together post kid bedtime. We just try to share and make sure we are in balance - this seems to impact how in balance the little one is as well. If mom and dad are happy, kid is happy. Also, a cleaning lady shows up twice a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part time lawyer, what do you do and how did you get a part time skd?

I work in-house for a large company, mostly from home, 3 days/week. The other two days I do not work.

I worked full-time for 16 years (3 years at my current employer) before going part-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in print media, I work FT, but half my hours from home, so I am here when the kiddos come home from school.

Pros -- lots of flexibility, enjoy what I do.
Cons -- work some nights and low, low pay.

Do you make more than $20k a year?