What do you do for a living and how is working out with the kids?

[Anonymous]

OP, I work in marketing (but am not an a**hole like PP) and work part-time (30 hours). But I have been at my company for many years so not sure how to negotiate that as a new employee. I had to take a pay cut of course and my chances for promotion are slim-to-none (partly by choice) but the schedule keeps me here.

What kind of marketing did you do in the past and how much are you looking to make? I think there are a lot of positions out there at family-friendly places (like non-profits, schools, etc) but they may not pay as much as what you were making when you were putting in 12-hour days. I would check out some of the temp/employment agencies that specialize in marketing and see if they can point you in the right direction. There are quite a few of them in the area.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Own my own tutoring business. I am home during the day. Do an hr or two of work during nap time depending on the day. Work 3 days a week after school from 3-9. It's ideal for me with 3 kids ranging from 8mo to almost 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a marketing professional with an MBA, currently a SAHM by choice for the last 4 years, since my first daughter was born. Now we have another daughter, 14 months old. I'm 33.

You must not be that good if you are not writing your own ticket. But the MBA explains it. You know a lot that amounts to nothing in the real world.

Can you make money? If you can't make it for yourself, how are you going to make it for someone else?

I am a marketing professional and I don't need a job because I am a marketing professional.

And you're a giant prick too! (not surprising since you're in marketing)

This country doesn't need anymore whiny losers who can't handle the truth. You are not special. No one is giving you a prize or tap dancing around your feelings.

If someone calls themselves a marketing professional yet they need a job to survive then that is laughable. If you were worth anything then you could write your own ticket anywhere. Please send me your MBA so I can make use of it as potty paper for my yorkie.

As for you PP, you are probably worthless as well. Go file some TPS reports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

I am the other MBA marketing person (not the douchenozzle). I make $200k, I could make more but the near total flexibility keeps me from leaving. I'm the primary breadwinner so yea I couldn't just fuck off and teach yoga or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

I am the other MBA marketing person (not the douchenozzle). I make $200k, I could make more but the near total flexibility keeps me from leaving. I'm the primary breadwinner so yea I couldn't just fuck off and teach yoga or something.

That's a good point - I'm the ER doctor and my salary contributes fully half the the running of our household.

[Anonymous]

I work 9-5 and then 9-1 after the kids go to sleep. (5-9 pm is famiky time.) On weekends I only work 9-1, and only if there are pressing deadlines.

[Anonymous]

I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

This is the whole point of this thread. How to work and yet somehow deal with the household, kids, life. I work for myself as a consultant and find it is absolutely perfect. I work around 30-45 hours a week, sometimes much less during slow seasons, rarely any more. I work completely around my kids' lives and generally have time to do everything I would do if I weren't working in terms of them and their needs and the household. I suppose if I didn't work I could lunch with friends and go to yoga while the kids were at school, but we need the money so there's no way I could do that. I do work when they are around in terms of working on my computer while they are sitting by me doing homework. I'm right there to supervise and help if needed while also getting work done. I also have about 2-3 times per week when DH keeps the kids, usually nights or weekends, and I meet with clients. Every once in a while it's a sitter instead. It's a good balance, gives DH more of a chance to be with the kids without them turning to me for everything, keeps me intellectually challenged, and we need the money. The money could be better and more steady, but I am seeing trends and starting to get to a point where I have a relatively stable salary that we can count on. It's rocky on that level, but it works for our family and the credit card bills that we ran up while I was building the business are getting paid down. All in all we have decided that it is working for us.

Point being, consulting can be great. I'm not really sure what a marketing professional does, but seems like you could help small businesses like mine with a stream-lined approach at doing enough marketing to get more business but be realistic that we don't have a lot of money and aren't running magazine ads or commercials or something big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT.

PP, not judging, but there's your problem right there. Many of those of us who work have partners who do more heavy lifting in the childcare/household running areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

I just went back to work after taking 3.5 years off to SAH with my twins. Have 3 kids in total (also took 3 years with my first. work full time 7-3:30. I earn $200k +.To answer your questions:

how would my house get clean?
Cleaner does weekly deep clean and nanny straightens up daily

Who would buy the groceries

Me. It takes an hour once every 1-2 weeks. Lists are your friend

Cooking

Me- and I cook from scratch once a week and freeze. You have to be organized. Nanny also helps.

scheduling all family activites,

Me/spouse- really not that hard. We have healthy social life and I do not even consider this a chore. Between invites to/from friends and perusing dckids.com for about 15 minutes a week we're set.

who would take the kids to their doctor's apts

Me/spouse. I haven't met an employer who hasn't allowed me to do this. My current employer gives us family leave and sick leave which comfortably covers all my and kids' doc visits


after school activities, piano lessons, etc.?
Me- which is why I set my hours at 7-3:0

Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter?

You have given details of child's illness (re seriousness) but perhaps a nanny would work for you? I have a few friends with sick. Kids who work. Many employers will work with you. I know with my employer, you would be allowed to work from home in the circumstances you describe.

DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me.

Where there's a will there's a way. Being at work for most is not physically exhausting. You're sat behind a desk or schmoozing with clients.
If you can get flexible hours you can make it work. I'm not saying you have to but if you really want to you can do it. It would most certainly not kill you. 75% of women do it every day and we're alive and thriving. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

I would have to agree with PP that if you were working in an office, you may feel less physically exhausted than SAH all day with young kids. I know the days that I am home with the kids are MUCH more draining than work days when I am only home in the evenings. In terms of who handles the household work/chores, many working women hire others to do that (not all, but most that I know). I have a cleaner come in, childcare provider does a lot of the laundry for the kids, etc but I wouldn't be able to afford that kind of help if I didn't work (nor would I need it). I also agree with the other PP who said that a lot of working moms have partners who take on a lot of the household responsibilities as well--if your DH isn't able to pitch in as much and you like SAH, sounds like that is what works for your family and you should keep doing that.

To address the "breadwinner" question, I work part-time (4 days) and make a little over $70K. Workplace is very flexible and I have built up a good amount of vacation so I feel like I have a good balance. But I am not the breadwinner by any means--DH makes around $180k-220K depending on the year. But he works for himself so my job provides the benefits and a decent 401K so that is the real reason I continue to work, in addition to keeping my foot in the door. I like working and I like my job well enough but my job is more of a safety net to provide the basics in case my husband's business takes a hit. And since it's so flexible, it's a good gig for me while the kids are young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in IT, 8ish-4ish, with flexibility to work at home 1-2x a week. Husband is a HS teacher and does 8-4 as well, has to be on site full time during the school year. Working out pretty well with our 1 year old, although I am thinking about going down to 32 hours to have a bit more time with the little guy. I make over 2x DH's salary so it would be a hit.

I wish people would say how much the household depends on their income when they list their jobs. I mean, working retail a couple days a week or part-time teaching preschool sounds lovely, but I am guessing that's not paying the mortgage.

I agree. Some of the jobettes here don't qualify as support-the-family endeavors.

I'm a lawyer and work part-time (3 days/week), mostly from home, hours are roughly 8-6. DH is an elementary school teacher and works from 8-4 during the school year, not at all during summers.

Works well for our family.

I'm thinking about working more. We are not in dire need of more money, but could use it for some home improvements and college savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

This is the whole point of this thread. How to work and yet somehow deal with the household, kids, life. I work for myself as a consultant and find it is absolutely perfect. I work around 30-45 hours a week, sometimes much less during slow seasons, rarely any more. I work completely around my kids' lives and generally have time to do everything I would do if I weren't working in terms of them and their needs and the household. I suppose if I didn't work I could lunch with friends and go to yoga while the kids were at school, but we need the money so there's no way I could do that. I do work when they are around in terms of working on my computer while they are sitting by me doing homework. I'm right there to supervise and help if needed while also getting work done. I also have about 2-3 times per week when DH keeps the kids, usually nights or weekends, and I meet with clients. Every once in a while it's a sitter instead. It's a good balance, gives DH more of a chance to be with the kids without them turning to me for everything, keeps me intellectually challenged, and we need the money. The money could be better and more steady, but I am seeing trends and starting to get to a point where I have a relatively stable salary that we can count on. It's rocky on that level, but it works for our family and the credit card bills that we ran up while I was building the business are getting paid down. All in all we have decided that it is working for us.

Point being, consulting can be great. I'm not really sure what a marketing professional does, but seems like you could help small businesses like mine with a stream-lined approach at doing enough marketing to get more business but be realistic that we don't have a lot of money and aren't running magazine ads or commercials or something big?

What exactly do you consult on? Your job sounds ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. I don't know how y'all do it. I'm exhausted reading this thread. I'd love to go back to work, but, uh, uh, how would my house get clean? Who would buy the groceries, do the cooking, scheduling all family activites, who would take the kids to their doctor's apts, after school activities, piano lessons, etc.? Most important, who would stay home with my youngest, who has a chronic illness that keeps her home from school 3-4 weeks every winter? DH has a long commute, travels, there's no way he could pick up the slack if I were to work FT. I'm overwhelmed every single day, so having a job would likely kill me. Just sayin.

I always say my weekend starts Monday. Make no mistake about it - raising kids is MORE work than going to an office.