My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.

[Anonymous]

Love this thread! Now I just wish we could all be in preschool together. You all sound so loving and normal and awesome.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the mostly positive feedback. I'm not feeling terribly anxious about my son, but it is weird to read all these parents discuss what their kids are doing. FWIW, most of my family have pds (myself included), ivyleague educations and were brought up to be super academically achieving (3 professors in 2 generations, etc). I myself was pushed fairly hard as a child, but also was internally driven. I haven't really wanted that for my son, but sort of expected he would be "smart" in a natural, obvious way and take to learning in the way that we did (or supposedly we did). My mom comments frequently how he isn't doing X or Y yet, and that I or my sibling did that when we were that age, so she's gotten under my skin a little. On the other hand, she is kind of crazy and my brother, at least, was abnormal, doing long division and multiplication at 5 and graduating high school at 15. He's a scientist now, but also terribly socially awkward and emotionally repressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for all the mostly positive feedback. I'm not feeling terribly anxious about my son, but it is weird to read all these parents discuss what their kids are doing. FWIW, most of my family have pds (myself included), ivyleague educations and were brought up to be super academically achieving (3 professors in 2 generations, etc). I myself was pushed fairly hard as a child, but also was internally driven. I haven't really wanted that for my son, but sort of expected he would be "smart" in a natural, obvious way and take to learning in the way that we did (or supposedly we did). My mom comments frequently how he isn't doing X or Y yet, and that I or my sibling did that when we were that age, so she's gotten under my skin a little. On the other hand, she is kind of crazy and my brother, at least, was abnormal, doing long division and multiplication at 5 and graduating high school at 15. He's a scientist now, but also terribly socially awkward and emotionally repressed.

OP, go with your gut. Tell the teacher you are fine with what your child is doing. Be firm but polite so that she gets the point that you want her to drop it. Same with your mom. What I find is that the world is full of people who think they know better than you, when they don't. I've stopped letting these kind of people get under my skin. It's fun to watch them stammer when they finally understand you will not back down and that you could honestly not care less what they think.

[Anonymous]

Why is it that when people discuss exceptionally bright kids/people they always have to tell some horror story about how X was a genius but he failed at life / is miserable / has no friends? It's as irksome as being hyperfocused on giftedness, athletic ability, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when people discuss exceptionally bright kids/people they always have to tell some horror story about how X was a genius but he failed at life / is miserable / has no friends? It's as irksome as being hyperfocused on giftedness, athletic ability, whatever.

I think it's because so many people are hyper-focused on their kids being geniuses as the key to happiness in life, so people feel the need to point out that being a genius is no guarantee of anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when people discuss exceptionally bright kids/people they always have to tell some horror story about how X was a genius but he failed at life / is miserable / has no friends? It's as irksome as being hyperfocused on giftedness, athletic ability, whatever.

I think it's because so many people are hyper-focused on their kids being geniuses as the key to happiness in life, so people feel the need to point out that being a genius is no guarantee of anything.

I think many people believe that their kids being a genius is the key to **their** happiness. "If my kid is smart, I will be happy." But, that is not how it works. The bottom line is, "If my kid is happy, I will be happy." And, ironically, when you are so invested in your kid being smart your kid misses out, becomes miserable, and fails at life.

[Anonymous]

I think one of the tricks is to identify the way your child learns best.

I am the OP of the "exceptionally bright" thread. I don't think my youngest is a genius in any way at all and his proficiency at ABC/123 is likely just memorization of what he has seen. His father has a photographic memory and I suspect that some of this is in DS2, making it easier for him to learn some rote things. This is completely and utterly different from how his older brother learns. DS1 is a very tactile learner. He was slower to "memorize" his letters and numbers. As far as counting, it wasn't until he was given things to actually count that he really caught on.

I do agree about the regression as well. I have seen some in my oldest and even witnessed it in numerous nieces & nephews. Several letters are similar, they will write them backwards, this is all typical of how children learn.

This might be helpful: http://homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp/a/learningstyle.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.

Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.

You do realize that many 3 yo's can "read" books they know by heart, right? Try giving your child a book he has never seen and you'll see how well your kid can "read." Give me a break, honey. My kid can do this too and he can't read, so get over yourself.

I am talking about books that he has never seen. Got a few yesterday and he got all but a few words and almost had those words as he enjoys phonics based learning and sounding them out. There are kids who can read at 3. That's great your kid can memorize, but that is not reading. When I say reading, I mean books or words he has never seen before.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is "exceptionally bright" in some areas and "way behind" in others. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. A lot of parents only see one or the other, or at the very least, only tell you about one or the other. At the end of the day, I'm more concerned about building up the things that are underdeveloped than I am with bragging about the strong suits. At your child's age, everything sounds fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.

Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.

You do realize that many 3 yo's can "read" books they know by heart, right? Try giving your child a book he has never seen and you'll see how well your kid can "read." Give me a break, honey. My kid can do this too and he can't read, so get over yourself.

I am talking about books that he has never seen. Got a few yesterday and he got all but a few words and almost had those words as he enjoys phonics based learning and sounding them out. There are kids who can read at 3. That's great your kid can memorize, but that is not reading. When I say reading, I mean books or words he has never seen before.

Lol. When I say reading, I mean fluently reading "Little Bear" or maybe a book like "Go, Dog, Go." Your Ds in well on the way. He might be reading before kindergarten, which is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for all the mostly positive feedback. I'm not feeling terribly anxious about my son, but it is weird to read all these parents discuss what their kids are doing. FWIW, most of my family have pds (myself included), ivyleague educations and were brought up to be super academically achieving (3 professors in 2 generations, etc). I myself was pushed fairly hard as a child, but also was internally driven. I haven't really wanted that for my son, but sort of expected he would be "smart" in a natural, obvious way and take to learning in the way that we did (or supposedly we did). My mom comments frequently how he isn't doing X or Y yet, and that I or my sibling did that when we were that age, so she's gotten under my skin a little. On the other hand, she is kind of crazy and my brother, at least, was abnormal, doing long division and multiplication at 5 and graduating high school at 15. He's a scientist now, but also terribly socially awkward and emotionally repressed.

OP: That describes our family. Let him be himself and he will develop at his own pace. Many members of our family have also taken their smarts and had a great time in life.

[Anonymous]

Agree with so many people on this thread. Reading early (or doing anything early) is not a sign of future academic achievement. Curisoity and fun are the best things for this age, not rote learning. And ignore everyone, including your mother, on what he "should" be doing by now. He will have plenty of time for this kind fo thing later in life, not now. We are trying to raise our kids with the expectation that you should work hard but that you are not going to get anything right the first time, nor will you be the best at everything. Joy in life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.

Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.

You do realize that many 3 yo's can "read" books they know by heart, right? Try giving your child a book he has never seen and you'll see how well your kid can "read." Give me a break, honey. My kid can do this too and he can't read, so get over yourself.

I am talking about books that he has never seen. Got a few yesterday and he got all but a few words and almost had those words as he enjoys phonics based learning and sounding them out. There are kids who can read at 3. That's great your kid can memorize, but that is not reading. When I say reading, I mean books or words he has never seen before.

Well that's great. But it's not common, it's not average, and no one should be comparing their child to yours or anyone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.

Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.

You do realize that many 3 yo's can "read" books they know by heart, right? Try giving your child a book he has never seen and you'll see how well your kid can "read." Give me a break, honey. My kid can do this too and he can't read, so get over yourself.

I am talking about books that he has never seen. Got a few yesterday and he got all but a few words and almost had those words as he enjoys phonics based learning and sounding them out. There are kids who can read at 3. That's great your kid can memorize, but that is not reading. When I say reading, I mean books or words he has never seen before.

Well that's great. But it's not common, it's not average, and no one should be comparing their child to yours or anyone else's.

It is probably only those BOB books. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I am bumping this thread for it's awesomeness. My DD is a great kid but...just not particularly book smart. Book smarts were my thing, so it's been a new experience for me to cheer average to below average school results.