Breastfeeding + weight loss

[Anonymous]

OP, a really good friend of mine has battled eating disorders for years. She did what you were doing - not restricting calories exactly, but claiming not to be hungry, or claiming she was too busy being a mom, or any number of other excuses to justify eating 500 calories a day. We were ALL really concerned. I spent the better part of my wedding reception trying to get her to eat SOMETHING, ANYTHING, with very little success. Eventually, after a full on family intervention, she made an appointment with a counselor at an eating disorder clinic to start trying to get healthy.

I breastfed my daughter for over a year, and at first, like you, I was thrilled that the weight just flew off, especially because I'd tempered my expectations about that happening. It was nice to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight so quickly. It was also nice to lose the 10 pounds I'd been overweight before getting pregnant without really trying. But that's my point - I wasn't TRYING. I was eating normally. 500 calories per day is not normal. I know you know this.

This isn't about breastfeeding. It's about control. If it wasn't breastfeeding, it would be exercise or laxatives or any of the other ways that people with eating disorders control their weight. The fact that you are a single mom makes me even more concerned because there is no one around to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. I would encourage you to make a plan with a counselor and share that plan with someone in your support network so that you have some community accountability.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

My husband lost his mom when he was 3 years old. Despite it being 45 years later, it is still poignantly evident how much that loss impacted him. I look at our children (age three and newborn) and think about what their world would be like if mama suddenly died. Please, please don't do that to your kids.

You have the strength to get better. You have that within you. Please seek some help. You don't want your children to grow up without their mother, and you don't want them to model disordered eating.

You can do it, I know you can. Make that call and get the help you need.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did make some calls and will be getting some help. Still wondering if anyone else who was an underweight breastfeeder might share what happened in their situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently battling anorexia as well, slipped back, but am recovering again (trying). I understand somewhat your situation. Wanting to be there for my kids and the joy they bring me made eating a non issue thankfully. I was recovered and well within a normal weight when I had the kids and nursed. I slipped back as a crutch to deal with stresses. bad, bad, I know, working on it. You are not alone.

Commit right now to stop weighing yourself and counting calories for the rest of the week (one day/week at a time). Everytime you nurse (say everythree hours?) I think you need to look at your baby and eat something while you nurse. Plan it ahead of time. Staring at that sweet little one should be enough motivation.

You are in crisis and need to get to a stable place. Go to the store and pick out some safe foods before this darn storm. You need nutrition. Do you eat nuts, peanut butter, hard boiled eggs, little protein bars, milk? You want dense calorie rich foods that you will be able to stomach mentally and physically. Trying to eat a big plate of pasta is probably overwhelming. For the sake of your baby start supplementing with formula a little, you just have to. Can you start with one feeding today. You have done a great thing in getting help and reaching out. Good luck. There are many here to support you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did make some calls and will be getting some help. Still wondering if anyone else who was an underweight breastfeeder might share what happened in their situation.

What difference does it make knowing about others who were underweight and breastfeeding?

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm an underweight breastfeeder. I gained no weight either time I weaned. I am 5'7, 115. Before babies I was 135.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I did make some calls and will be getting some help. Still wondering if anyone else who was an underweight breastfeeder might share what happened in their situation.

What difference does it make knowing about others who were underweight and breastfeeding?


That is the disease talking -- seeking validation. That she can continue to do what she is doing and be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I did make some calls and will be getting some help. Still wondering if anyone else who was an underweight breastfeeder might share what happened in their situation.

What difference does it make knowing about others who were underweight and breastfeeding?


That is the disease talking -- seeking validation. That she can continue to do what she is doing and be okay.

I also think she may be seeking comfort that she won't gain the weight back if she eats more or will stay trim after weaning. I'm in an unhealthy pattern myself, and could see myself asking this. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Really just wanting to hear from others who have been in the same situation. Did you get healthy again or end up seriously ill? Did you gain or lose after weaning? Did low weight seem to affect your supply at all? Did you have a heart attack or end up with osteoporosis because you were malnourished and the baby took everything from you? Etc etc etc. Just wondering what others' experiences have been.

[Anonymous]

Google images of women with osteoporosis. That's what will happen to you. Breast feeding women need tons of dairy bc the baby is essentially leeching it out of you.mget help NOW. If you are truly worried about your baby, then get help. Put the baby on formula. Good luck to you, OP. Please help yourself.

[Anonymous]

I was anorexic in college and have menta when I slip back into that mind set. I breast fed three children and was also beyond thrilled when the weight came off so easily. I looked really sick after I got ten lbs under my normal weight- 115, at 5'8". People commented on it and I lost a lot of the desire to be super thin. These days I am happy at my weight, 123-125. I still watch what I eat and exercise a lot but the little people in my house have made a big difference in how i treat my body. Additionally, my oldest is now in kindergarten and under no circumstances do I want her to grow up with an ill mother or have her letting he weight control her life as it did mine for so long. That by itself is my biggestoyivatornto be good to myself. Good luckOP. Please take the steps to get well. Your child needs you.

[Anonymous]

Geez. Sorry for the typos. That was supposed to say biggest motivator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently battling anorexia as well, slipped back, but am recovering again (trying). I understand somewhat your situation. Wanting to be there for my kids and the joy they bring me made eating a non issue thankfully. I was recovered and well within a normal weight when I had the kids and nursed. I slipped back as a crutch to deal with stresses. bad, bad, I know, working on it. You are not alone.

Commit right now to stop weighing yourself and counting calories for the rest of the week (one day/week at a time). Everytime you nurse (say everythree hours?) I think you need to look at your baby and eat something while you nurse. Plan it ahead of time. Staring at that sweet little one should be enough motivation.

You are in crisis and need to get to a stable place. Go to the store and pick out some safe foods before this darn storm. You need nutrition. Do you eat nuts, peanut butter, hard boiled eggs, little protein bars, milk? You want dense calorie rich foods that you will be able to stomach mentally and physically. Trying to eat a big plate of pasta is probably overwhelming. For the sake of your baby start supplementing with formula a little, you just have to. Can you start with one feeding today. You have done a great thing in getting help and reaching out. Good luck. There are many here to support you.

Sorry you are going through the same thing. Fun, huh? I thought this was out of my life for good. I did a little shopping so I would have some small things to eat, and I think it has been helping. It is hard because every time I eat something, I know I am getting fatter and fatter and it is overwhelming. It's awful that I am so obsessed when I should just be focused on getting healthy for my child. I wish I could be well but skip over the weight gain part. I am afraid to supplement at all because I know it is a slippery slope and I don't want my supply to be affected. I think if my milk were to dry up I would have no reason whatsoever to eat.

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp you quoted that relapsed, I get it, I do. But you are a mom now, you have to pull it together for that baby. With you nursing it isn't just about you now. The baby may be gaining fine but you will never ever forgive yourself if one nutrient, vitamin D whatever, is not getting to your baby and there is an issue down the road.

You can stabilize your nutrition without horrible bloating that makes you "feel" fatter from eating again. Fat does not reappear overnight. Eat nuts, drink calories, small amounts will add up. Do not focus on gaining weight today or tomorrow, focus on stabilizing yourself with nutrition. If you can't do it for you, do it for yor baby. Keep up the good work adding food. Your body desperately needs it. You could collapse or have a heart attack, it has happened to young moms. God forbid if you are alone with a newborn and that happens. You can do this! Please check back in.

[Anonymous]

I have been working on the nutrition piece. I don't think I have gained any weight, but I have been taking in more calories and have been trying to eat quality foods. I feel better overall, but I have still had unexpected dizzy spells, which is unsettling. I am going to meet with an RD later this week so hopefully she can help.