S/O How do you interact with opposite sex spouse of a couples friendship?

[Anonymous]

Beauty is power? That doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

Type it into google.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is pretty damn hot and attracts men to begin with. Add the fact that she has no idea that she sends them the wrong signals and you have a recipe for unwanted advances from the spouses of our friends. I have to tell her sometimes that her love of "being one of the boys" gets taken just like it was taken in college - she's trolling for sex. She gets very upset with herself over this because she's just trying to have fun. I kind of feel bad for her because it has caused problems with friendships to the point of the wife of one our friends approaching me to ask if my wife was hitting on her husband. I explained that she doesn't know the boundaries and gives people the wrong impression and encouraged her to approach my wife directly. They are now closer friends than ever. Of course, the husband got a talking to by both my wife and his wife for making his intentions with my wife known (the idiot told his wife he wanted my wife and that the feeling might be mutual). We've moved on, he was embarrassed and I simply said "Hey, I can't blame you I'm in love with her too."

I have to manage my wife's eagerness and naive look at life. She will call a guy and ask him to a drink because she wants a line on a client or a job prospect. She has no idea that he thinks/hopes it's a date leading to an affair. I have to remind her what they are thinking when she innocently goes about her business with them.

On my side it's easy - I don't have friend's wives' numbers, email address and I don't friend them on facebook. I stay away from contacting married women outside of normal business. I have a clear barrier - I dont' think it's right for me to call a friend's wife for any reason. this keeps trouble from happening. You can't crash a car you never even drive.

Your wife's actions are inappropriate. She should try to get some counseling to conduct herself in a more appropriate manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally I try to avoid:
Calling the men and having long conversations. I can do my planning with the wife. I can talk to her husband when he is there.
Flirting.
Meeting him alone for drinks or lunch, except very rarely or exceptional circumstances, i.e., I am in the city for a job interview and he works there but she doesn't.
Paying too much attention to any man in particular at gatherings
Never put anything in writing you wouldn't want your spouse and his spouse to read
Never say anything you wouldn't want repeated
Never make a phone call to him that's long enough or frequent enough that if she sees his cell phone bill, she will wonder, WTF?

Excellent post.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how attractive you are. If you are very attractive you have to proceed with more caution and sensitivity. It can ruin a friendship when your friend's husband cannot hide his attraction, even if he has zero chance with the friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is pretty damn hot and attracts men to begin with. Add the fact that she has no idea that she sends them the wrong signals and you have a recipe for unwanted advances from the spouses of our friends. I have to tell her sometimes that her love of "being one of the boys" gets taken just like it was taken in college - she's trolling for sex. She gets very upset with herself over this because she's just trying to have fun. I kind of feel bad for her because it has caused problems with friendships to the point of the wife of one our friends approaching me to ask if my wife was hitting on her husband. I explained that she doesn't know the boundaries and gives people the wrong impression and encouraged her to approach my wife directly. They are now closer friends than ever. Of course, the husband got a talking to by both my wife and his wife for making his intentions with my wife known (the idiot told his wife he wanted my wife and that the feeling might be mutual). We've moved on, he was embarrassed and I simply said "Hey, I can't blame you I'm in love with her too."

I have to manage my wife's eagerness and naive look at life. She will call a guy and ask him to a drink because she wants a line on a client or a job prospect. She has no idea that he thinks/hopes it's a date leading to an affair. I have to remind her what they are thinking when she innocently goes about her business with them.

On my side it's easy - I don't have friend's wives' numbers, email address and I don't friend them on facebook. I stay away from contacting married women outside of normal business. I have a clear barrier - I dont' think it's right for me to call a friend's wife for any reason. this keeps trouble from happening. You can't crash a car you never even drive.

Your wife is as dumb as a fox, and you as a doorknob.