Am I a Tiger Mom?

[Anonymous]

1-She graduated from high school in Fairfax County. My point was that despite being in public high school in Alabama for two years, she still had no problem at all in her well respected Fairfax County High School.

2-She actually turned down two ivys and went to University of Florida. They have an accelerated medical school program. Her pediatrician in Fairfax recommended that she consider it when she was looking at schools. http://www.admissions.ufl.edu/ugrad/combdegreespec.html

3-Yes. She took AP courses and exams in high school in Alabama and in Fairfax. I couldn't tell you how many she took. A lot. She got 4s and 5s on the exams. Her college didn't take all of them, but they took most. She also took some dual enrollment courses.

4-National Awards? She is a National Merit Scholar.

5-She does not have a job. She is still in school full time. The cost of her tuition, books, fees, housing, and meals are completely covered by her scholarships.

My point was not to brag on her. She did this on her own. Our other kids are nothing at all like her. Some kids are just naturally academically gifted. We didn't prep her for any test. We didn't hire tutors. We didn't push her. We did exactly the same thing with her that we did with all of the kids. We provided opportunity and encouraged her to do her best. Then we stayed out of the way.

i am very familiar with accelerated BS/or BA/MD programs. In my day 6 year programs (e.g., Brown and Jefferson in Phili). I am not familiar with this variety in Florida (must be new) and it appears you are not admitted directly from high schools like the programs I am familiar with. Thus, I would have gone to Ivy (and/or Ivy accelerated medical programs Brown, Dartmouth were you are admitted from high school). But you have to really be admitted to Ivy to have the choice! I don't buy you long story by a mile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think an hour is a little extreme. Especially if they are fighting it (you don't say whether they love or hate it). Are they getting enough sleep?

I do think some supplementation is necessary, especially depending on how math is taught. Various new math curricula aren't stressing things like the memorization of multiplication tables, etc.

However, learning stuff by rote isn't the be-all, end-all. I hope you are teaching critical thinking/problem solving skills, as well as resilience. Those are the skills that will help them shine in higher level classes (and life). Not just stuffing their heads with data.

Again with the dissing of foundational knowledge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really? Flash cards at home? Barf. I agree with 15:34; I try to help my preschool-aged child learn through fun, life activities - cooking, gardening, helping with chores, trips to museums, hikes, etc. He gets 8 hours of early learning 5 days a week at preschool. Anything "structured" over and above that is overkill and tantamount to robbing your child of their childhood. Let the damn kids play.

I suggest all you flash card people read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Einstein-Never-Used-Flashcards-Learn--/dp/1594860688/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360166085&sr=1-1&keywords=don%27t+flash+cards

Yes, you are right - for a preschool age child it's not needed but this thread was not talking about preschool kids. And yes, to memorize basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division my school age child definitely needed flash cards. It is rote memorization and some method was needed. Flash cards worked for her. Other kids might do things like write the facts down over and over, memorize them from a sheet of paper, hear them once and just know them, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.

Why not both? Why assume the posters don't do both?

Because there are only 24 hours in the day.

I am the parent who does the hour and half each day. First, my kid loves the one on one attention. I do not simply have her sit and do a workbook for that time. I sit with her while she works and I will sometimes do the pages with her. She reads out loud to me. I read out loud to her while she colors, builds with legos, etc. We have several educational board games that focus on specific areas that we play. She also does some independent work. At her age, that 90 minutes does not fill the evening. She also practices dance for anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes each evening, plays or read by herself, or we do some crafts. This is after a full day of school, plus after care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.

Why not both? Why assume the posters don't do both?

Because there are only 24 hours in the day.

I am the parent who does the hour and half each day. First, my kid loves the one on one attention. I do not simply have her sit and do a workbook for that time. I sit with her while she works and I will sometimes do the pages with her. She reads out loud to me. I read out loud to her while she colors, builds with legos, etc. We have several educational board games that focus on specific areas that we play. She also does some independent work. At her age, that 90 minutes does not fill the evening. She also practices dance for anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes each evening, plays or read by herself, or we do some crafts. This is after a full day of school, plus after care.

And what time does this perfect child go to bed? And how/when exactly do you prepare, eat and clean up after dinner, have bathtime, etc? We get home at 5:30; dinner is ready by 6:15. DH plays with our son for those 45 minutes without workbooks. Then dinner is 45 minutes. By now it is 7; bedtime starts at 7:30. So at 7 I either play some more/read to him or give him a bath while DH cleans up from dinner. At 7:30 has to get into jammies/brush teeth and gets to watch one program before bedtime at 8. So even with getting at home at 5:30 DS only gets about 75 minutes of one or the other parent's undivided attention every night.

By all means, tell us how you do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.

Why not both? Why assume the posters don't do both?

Because there are only 24 hours in the day.

I am the parent who does the hour and half each day. First, my kid loves the one on one attention. I do not simply have her sit and do a workbook for that time. I sit with her while she works and I will sometimes do the pages with her. She reads out loud to me. I read out loud to her while she colors, builds with legos, etc. We have several educational board games that focus on specific areas that we play. She also does some independent work. At her age, that 90 minutes does not fill the evening. She also practices dance for anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes each evening, plays or read by herself, or we do some crafts. This is after a full day of school, plus after care.

And what time does this perfect child go to bed? And how/when exactly do you prepare, eat and clean up after dinner, have bathtime, etc? We get home at 5:30; dinner is ready by 6:15. DH plays with our son for those 45 minutes without workbooks. Then dinner is 45 minutes. By now it is 7; bedtime starts at 7:30. So at 7 I either play some more/read to him or give him a bath while DH cleans up from dinner. At 7:30 has to get into jammies/brush teeth and gets to watch one program before bedtime at 8. So even with getting at home at 5:30 DS only gets about 75 minutes of one or the other parent's undivided attention every night.

By all means, tell us how you do it.

This. We are all out the door by 8 am and don't get back until 6 or 6:15. After dinner, I like to hang out with them and play for about 45 min until it's time start the bed time routine. We manage to do some workbook pages about 3 times a week for 20- 25 minutes at a time. My kids are 3 and 5. We do read a lot. I don't know how you all have the time to do this extra stuff!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.

Why not both? Why assume the posters don't do both?

Because there are only 24 hours in the day.

I am the parent who does the hour and half each day. First, my kid loves the one on one attention. I do not simply have her sit and do a workbook for that time. I sit with her while she works and I will sometimes do the pages with her. She reads out loud to me. I read out loud to her while she colors, builds with legos, etc. We have several educational board games that focus on specific areas that we play. She also does some independent work. At her age, that 90 minutes does not fill the evening. She also practices dance for anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes each evening, plays or read by herself, or we do some crafts. This is after a full day of school, plus after care.

And what time does this perfect child go to bed? And how/when exactly do you prepare, eat and clean up after dinner, have bathtime, etc? We get home at 5:30; dinner is ready by 6:15. DH plays with our son for those 45 minutes without workbooks. Then dinner is 45 minutes. By now it is 7; bedtime starts at 7:30. So at 7 I either play some more/read to him or give him a bath while DH cleans up from dinner. At 7:30 has to get into jammies/brush teeth and gets to watch one program before bedtime at 8. So even with getting at home at 5:30 DS only gets about 75 minutes of one or the other parent's undivided attention every night.

By all means, tell us how you do it.

This. We are all out the door by 8 am and don't get back until 6 or 6:15. After dinner, I like to hang out with them and play for about 45 min until it's time start the bed time routine. We manage to do some workbook pages about 3 times a week for 20- 25 minutes at a time. My kids are 3 and 5. We do read a lot. I don't know how you all have the time to do this extra stuff!

ESPECIALLY if you have elementary school aged children, because they are coming home with homework, which must be done in lieu of any flash cards/workbooks/etc. Unless you are a SAHM, work non-traditional hours, or only work PT, the math just doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.

Why not both? Why assume the posters don't do both?

Because there are only 24 hours in the day.

I am the parent who does the hour and half each day. First, my kid loves the one on one attention. I do not simply have her sit and do a workbook for that time. I sit with her while she works and I will sometimes do the pages with her. She reads out loud to me. I read out loud to her while she colors, builds with legos, etc. We have several educational board games that focus on specific areas that we play. She also does some independent work. At her age, that 90 minutes does not fill the evening. She also practices dance for anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes each evening, plays or read by herself, or we do some crafts. This is after a full day of school, plus after care.

And what time does this perfect child go to bed? And how/when exactly do you prepare, eat and clean up after dinner, have bathtime, etc? We get home at 5:30; dinner is ready by 6:15. DH plays with our son for those 45 minutes without workbooks. Then dinner is 45 minutes. By now it is 7; bedtime starts at 7:30. So at 7 I either play some more/read to him or give him a bath while DH cleans up from dinner. At 7:30 has to get into jammies/brush teeth and gets to watch one program before bedtime at 8. So even with getting at home at 5:30 DS only gets about 75 minutes of one or the other parent's undivided attention every night.

By all means, tell us how you do it.

This. We are all out the door by 8 am and don't get back until 6 or 6:15. After dinner, I like to hang out with them and play for about 45 min until it's time start the bed time routine. We manage to do some workbook pages about 3 times a week for 20- 25 minutes at a time. My kids are 3 and 5. We do read a lot. I don't know how you all have the time to do this extra stuff!

ESPECIALLY if you have elementary school aged children, because they are coming home with homework, which must be done in lieu of any flash cards/workbooks/etc. Unless you are a SAHM, work non-traditional hours, or only work PT, the math just doesn't add up.

My child is in 2nd grade and attends the after-school. We are out the door by 7:45am each morning. Bed time is between 9:15 - 9:45pm. Homework is done at after-care.

Dinner lasts a max of 15 - 20 minutes each night. 45 minutes for dinner? way too long.

[Anonymous]

PP with the 2nd grader, when do you guys get home? How long for dinner prep and cleanup? We get in the door around 6:15, by the time I prep dinner, we're looking at 6:40 and we eat until about 7:10. Then we have free time until about 8 during which we may do any combo of a number of things - play, watch tv, read, do 20 min of work book activity if they're up for it (which they are about 3 times a week). Then 8 pm is bath and then books. We're in bed by 8:45 - 9:00. What am I doing different from you? I would love to squeeze an extra 45 min into the evening but they have to go to bed by 9.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I'm a Tiger Mom, but I have my 2nd grade DC do extra work at night. We have a sitter that takes him to a study group 2x/per week (and I take him on Saturdays). Its for an hour each time, unless DC asks to stay longer. DC and sitter get home around 7, they work on homework/activity until 7:45 while I make dinner. Sometimes they do vocabulary flash cards. Last week they worked with DC's plastic volcano. On non-sitter days, we work on reading comprehension and english. DC does around 3-7 pages in a 3rd grade workbook. I'm mostly cooking, but I also help.

DC eats until 8, then bath. We read in bed for 20 minutes from 8:30-9, then DC can play ipad or watch TV until 930ish. He doesn't get up until 7:30 am, so he can get 10 hours of sleep if he goes to bed at 9:30pm.

[Anonymous]

OP, not

[Anonymous]

Sorry, meant to say you are not a Tiger Mom, but I commend you.

I have to supplement my 8 year old's education at home mostly because he is gifted yet learning disabled (waiting on the county to explore different programs for that). It takes an enormous amount of time and energy, so I make sure he gets enough physical activity and goofing off time as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'm a Tiger Mom, but I have my 2nd grade DC do extra work at night. We have a sitter that takes him to a study group 2x/per week (and I take him on Saturdays). Its for an hour each time, unless DC asks to stay longer. DC and sitter get home around 7, they work on homework/activity until 7:45 while I make dinner. Sometimes they do vocabulary flash cards. Last week they worked with DC's plastic volcano. On non-sitter days, we work on reading comprehension and english. DC does around 3-7 pages in a 3rd grade workbook. I'm mostly cooking, but I also help.

DC eats until 8, then bath. We read in bed for 20 minutes from 8:30-9, then DC can play ipad or watch TV until 930ish. He doesn't get up until 7:30 am, so he can get 10 hours of sleep if he goes to bed at 9:30pm.

What kind of study groups are there for 2nd graders?