Are all 5-year-olds annoying as hell?

[Anonymous]

Not typical. 5 is actually a great age. I taught K and that boy would stand out as being annoying in a class.

[Anonymous]

I realize this is late, but I have to add to this. It's not really an only child thing. It's a bad parenting thing. Yes, you can be very attentive to your kid, but totally neglect to lay down boundaries when they are being rude. For what it's worth, 5 is a big age for testing boundaries—but it comes with so many good parts (like most kids have a big developmental jump in communication) that a lot of folks overlook this.

A number of onlies are pretty well-adjusted. My husband was an only. He is quiet, but friendly, considerate, goal-driven and really all around awesome. The only people I've met who don't get on with him seem to be people who are highly manipulative types, but that is rare.

My 5 year old is an only. She is sweet and generous with other little kids. She has A LOT of little friends from many families—and I have friends because of her fantastic extroverted sweet nature. The biggest battle we deal with right now is her tattling (informing) on everyone—including herself. I think it's for attention, but maybe it's a development thing. Either way it drives me up the wall and I have lost patience. It's one of those things that's cute if you hear about it, but lose patience with it after a couple weeks. We're working on learning to find positive ways to gain attention while learning what is important to tell others. I think she picked the tattling up from a little girl she has known for years, and recently went to camp with. That little friend is a sweet kid, but has always been annoying—and I have a feeling she'll remain annoying even after having a sibling (her mother is expecting) as her parents have trouble laying down boundaries. It may just take on another form—like harassing her younger sibling when their parents aren't watching. I love her mom, but we are at a point I believe my daughter needs a break from her.

So why do we have the spoiled only child stereotype? It was perpetuated many years ago. Studies have again and again proven it's not true. That doesn't mean there aren't spoiled onlies though. They are very noticable when they exist as they do get more attention from parents with bad boundaries. However, I've met parents of multiples who are equally horrid about it. It's just less obvious as their time is divided and the spoiling takes on many other fashions than simply undivided attention. This is very terrible in its own right as not only one child gains poor social skills, but two kids do, and one of them may be treated as an outcast as often parents who spoil blatantly take on favorites.

Anyhow, I think it's great to love your kid and to even be aware of their feelings, but it's equally important to teach boundaries and healthy behavior when they are young so they will continue to have other good people who love them in their lives. This is important if you have one child (so they always find love) and for children with siblings (so they find love and continue to have love of their brothers/sisters).

[Anonymous]

I think the tattling is much more of an only child thing. The more kids the more futile tattling becomes. OP I wouldn't bend over backwards so much. If he wreck a story then tell his mom you want to read to your kid without being interrupted. If he constantly thinks his work is better then just say "no, I think they are both really good efforts." He might be used to having everyone's undivided attention but I don't think it will do him any harm to know that not everyone plays that game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the tattling is much more of an only child thing. The more kids the more futile tattling becomes. OP I wouldn't bend over backwards so much. If he wreck a story then tell his mom you want to read to your kid without being interrupted. If he constantly thinks his work is better then just say "no, I think they are both really good efforts." He might be used to having everyone's undivided attention but I don't think it will do him any harm to know that not everyone plays that game.

I actually seeing tattling much more often when there are siblings. I thinks it's a good way to get a parent's attention and at the same time get another kid in trouble. Also something that wouldn't necessarily occur to an only because there's no need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we reached 5, I realized why people become parents. It made the agony of the toddler/preschool years worthwhile.

+1! I have 5 yr old twins and I'm loving 5 so much! I know this sounds pathetic, but my kids are finally so much fun to be around and do stuff with - so much more consistent with their moods ... Years 0-3 have been exceptionally tough with my 2....

[Anonymous]

My five year old is very difficult. Three was awful, four was great, five is awful. It might simply be a question of temperament, but I will say that my son's friends are also very difficult at five. It seems to come and go with the seasons, life changes, new friends, new skills, etc. Some children are just more challenging than others...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're on vacation with some old friends and their kids. Their only child is 5. Our kids are 3 and 2, and believe me they can be plenty annoying in their own way, but this 5-year-old is driving me crazy. He is not a bad kid and his parents are not inattentive. They are not always consistent with discipline but they're pretty good -- as good as most parents I know. I want to love this child and I know he means well but I'm having a tough time. He is just so annoying. He constantly interrupts adult conversations and then just talks and talks and talks without taking a breath until you finally cut him off after like 5 minutes, then he gets mad and whiny. If I compliment my child in any way, he has to one-up him. E.g. if I say "That's a nice picture" to my DS, this child will say, "But my picture is NICER, right?" And of course it is because he is older, but it's just mean to say. And yes I do compliment this other child probably MORE than I compliment my own child, but I do occasionally compliment my own child. If I sit down to read a book with one of mine, this other child MUST be included and then loudly talk through the entire thing. He is also a huge tattletale, and he seems to feel competitive even with much younger children.

Is this just the age? Is it an only child thing? Are my kids going to be like this? Do you think the parents realize how annoying he is?

He sounds needy. A good first grade teacher will take care of it. Unfortunate the parents allow it to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like my 5yo at all. He has his moments, but in general, he's a doll.

+1 I think the kid's parents need to change up their parenting a bit.

[Anonymous]

I Would take a 5 year old any day over 2 or 3. But maybe you're biased.

[Anonymous]

It is possible that this is some sort of social disorder.

[Anonymous]

This is such an old thread that OP's kids are 5 now.

OP, have your 5-year-olds been annoying as hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This particular 5 yr old sounds very insecure. If he asked "but MY picture is better, right?" I would physically touch his arm or head and say, "It's not a contest." If he interrupted when I began reading to my (quiet) children, the very first time I would put a hand on him, look him in the eyes, and say, "You're welcome to listen, but if you're going to talk I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room. This is a reading time, not a talking time." Then if he spoke again, I'd close the book, stand up, and calmly lead him to the door and say "I told you this was a quiet time. Since you want to talk, why don't you go find your mom/Larla and talk with them since you can't stay here now that you talked."

This is gold. Can you write a parenting book, please?

[Anonymous]

He's not annoying because hes 5. He's annoying because he's an only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such an old thread that OP's kids are 5 now.

OP, have your 5-year-olds been annoying as hell?

Yes...I'm really curious about OP's kids!!

I have a 5yo who has lots of 5yo friends. And they all have their sweet and lovely side as well as their annoying and bratty side.

[Anonymous]

I found this thread not long ago after my cousin visited with her 5 y.o. child. I actually searched using OP's title as keywords, which tells you that my experience was very similar to OP's. What I learned from that visit that children need to be reminded not to interrupt adults and keep quiet when adults are talking: seriously, my cousin and I could not have a normal conversation in 5 days, not even once, because her child would always get in the away and never once did she ask the child to wait until we finish talking. I was literally exhausted after their visit.