I hate my SIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP - have you said anything to your SIL? Nothing agressive, but a hint like "I wish Target took returns w/o the receipt because I the outfits are too small for Junior - what do you think?" and put the ball in her court.

Wow. Just when I thought I had seen the most petty narrowminded people on this board... this PP and OP come in and take the cake.

WHY ON EARTH would you say anything about this to your SIL? WHY WHY WHY?? Unless you are a thankless b*&ch whose sole purpose is to create more feelings of bad blood? Why put the ball in her court? Except to reinforce that she didn't "get away with it", and or make her feel crappy? If this is your purpose then go at it... but don't wonder then when she ends up even hating your more.

Look, despite your protestations that there is "much more than this"... I'd say this little incident says a great deal about YOU. You admittedly didn't speak to this woman for over a year. She was kind enough to get you a small gift to celebrate the birth of your baby... and now you're on the warpath because she re-used a box??? A friggen BOX??? With bad tissue paper?

Great googly moogly. The woman left the tags on! Its not an insult to your intellect. She thought it was a nice box and used it to package her gift.

Try acting like an adult.

Yikes, you spoke your mind. Careful, someone might call you horrible.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge difference between speaking your mind on an opinion board (especially when the OP asked for it), and speaking your mind to a relative about how evil you think she is. While admittedly, there may be an appropriate time and place to tell a relative what you think of her, doing it in response to a gift that you feel is inadequate is the wrong time and place.

[Anonymous]

OP, what has your husband said about the issue?

[Anonymous]

Wow - I haven't read all the other responses - just the OP's original post. Totally think the OP is upset for no reason in this particular case. I know it can be hard when we don't get along with someone (don't like them, don't trust them, etc) and that it can get to a point where anything that is done makes one angry.

However - in this case - she put clothes in a box for a more expensive store - but left the tags on clearly indicating the clothes were from Target? I keep boxes from other stores and use them as needed. Whenever I get a box (unless it's obvious that the box has never been opened - small kitchen appliances, etc) I never assume the gift inside comes from the store on the box.

I have no clue why the OP would feel so angry about this one incident. Please let it go.

[Anonymous]

The OP is overreacting. Obviously there's some tension between the two of them, but I think the OP is bordering on irrational.

By the way (this really bothered me), but when I give baby clothes as gifts I typically buy them for when the baby is older. Normally new parents get lots of clothes for newborns, but never for when the baby ages. My mother taught me this is a considerate thing to do. I guess my mother is an inconsiderate bitch according to the OP's guidelines.

We also frequently re-use gift boxes. Who doesn't?

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Look, despite your protestations that there is "much more than this"... I'd say this little incident says a great deal about YOU.

Try acting like an adult.

Amen!

OP: I can't believe the fact that the clothes are size 12 mo further "fueled [your] theory" that your SIL is deliberately messing with you. You really are looking to assume the worst about her, aren't you? Did you even consider a kinder interpretation? For instance, maybe she bought you 12 mo clothes because almost everyone gives newborn clothes as gifts, and she wanted you to have some clothes for when your babe is older rather than having so many newborn outfits that he doesn't even wear them all.

Try to let this incident go, and invest some of the energy you've used stewing about an imagined slight to reflect on YOUR role in this bad relationship.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

12:30: I never said my SIL is an inconsiderate bitch (even though I think she is), I never said it in my post.
The clothes were winter clothes and it will be summer when DS is 12 mos.

Regardless, I don't re-use gift boxes, maybe that is why I was so surprised. And like a PP said, you don't buy a frying pan in Walmart and gift it in a Williams Sonoma bag. At least I don't do it...

12:21: My husband can't stand his sister either, but he doesn't care about this issue. He doesn't care about anything relating to her really, even if it means she never got to meet DS. It was me who tried to get closer so that she could meet DS. She didn't call to congratulate on pregnancy or when DS was born.

07:45: I might be upset at my SIL, but you sound upset at the world.... so angry...

The purpose of this post were to see if anyone else thought there was smthg behind this incident, as like I said in my post, I know i am biased bc I can't stand her so I might see stuff where there really isn't anything.

[Anonymous]

while I agree that the box thing is tacky, who the hell needs newborn clothes? I know that after 3 kids I think we used the NB size for a week for each. I NEVER buy NB, always 6month+ as gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

12:30: I never said my SIL is an inconsiderate bitch (even though I think she is), I never said it in my post.
The clothes were winter clothes and it will be summer when DS is 12 mos.

Regardless, I don't re-use gift boxes, maybe that is why I was so surprised. And like a PP said, you don't buy a frying pan in Walmart and gift it in a Williams Sonoma bag. At least I don't do it...

12:21: My husband can't stand his sister either, but he doesn't care about this issue. He doesn't care about anything relating to her really, even if it means she never got to meet DS. It was me who tried to get closer so that she could meet DS. She didn't call to congratulate on pregnancy or when DS was born.

07:45: I might be upset at my SIL, but you sound upset at the world.... so angry...

The purpose of this post were to see if anyone else thought there was smthg behind this incident, as like I said in my post, I know i am biased bc I can't stand her so I might see stuff where there really isn't anything.

If you were at any point sincerely trying to get closer to your SIL, you are not doing a great job at it...lol. You are so on edge desperately seeking out any perceived slight that you couldn't possibly nurture any sort of relationship with this woman. Your effort was over before it even began. The gift is a no brainer - in answer to your question, yes, you were seeing stuff where there was really nothing. It's a gift. Gracious people thank the giver (no matter who it is) and don't spend time analyzing the box and tissue paper. Let it go and be polite and cordial and leave it at that. In my opinion it's a very bad example to your DC to try and maintain ties almost as a trap to SIL...i.e., we invited her to Thanksgiving and she came but she brought BRUSSELS SPROUTS. Which of course indicate that she is DISSING ME!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: we invited her to Thanksgiving and she came but she brought BRUSSELS SPROUTS. Which of course indicate that she is DISSING ME!!!

OP here
That was very funny, hahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Guess I'm not the only one - my son is 11 months old and still no visit from the in-laws, and of course no gifts either. My SIL dislikes me very, very much (per her emails essentially saying so), and of course no gift from her family! I wouldn't care about the box - to me, it's more entertaining than spiteful.

Anonymous wrote:Ditto the pp whose inlaws never got them a gift for any of their kids. My MIL/FIL actually wouldn't come for the birth of their grandson until we offered to pay for their airfare, and my DH had to shame them into it by pointing out my parents came to the first child's birth and were happy to not only come and stay but pay their own way.

All my inlaws are cheap, cheap people, and too selfish to think of the kids to even send a gift or a card.

Your SIL sounds like a piece of work, whether mightily cheap or conniving pyscho - - imo, best to ignore someone like that and live as though they don't exist other than holidays and family gatherings.

[Anonymous]

OP, Just in case this helps, my son was wearing size 12 months at 5 months so the clothes may still be good. Really, they shrink and they are so much smaller than you think they are. Especially the Circo stuff, it is small and shrinks. You may be able to use it.