Household Division of Work Question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Cooking - 90/10 - DW
Pay bills - 95/5 - DH
Help w/ homework - 99/1 DW
House cleaning - 100/0 - DW
Yard maintenance - none
Laundry - 100/0 - DW
Grocery shopping - 90/10 - DW

I work part-time, but this was also the arrangement when I worked full time. Really unhappy about it, actually, but DH is very hostile to both the idea of his helping me more and to the idea of my hiring help. For that matter, it also pisses him off if I try to do any of these things when he's around, since it "ruins his weekend".

That is so sad. A relationship where one of the partners can say "this pisses me off" and the other is "really unhappy about that", doesn't seem very healthy.

Time for YOU to get pissed off.

Thanks- very validating to hear it. I've long been pissed, but since he absolutely refuses all alternatives, that's the deal unless I'm prepared to leave.

[Anonymous]

Cooking- all DH
Kitchen clean up - all me
Laundry- we do our own and alternate kids and common laundry
Bill paying- DH
Daycare bill paying - all me
Cleaning- housekeeper
Kids bath time - mostly me
Bedtime - we each get a kid, sometimes I put the baby to bed
Grocery shopping - all DH
Gardening- all me
Trash - all DH
Morning duty- all DH, I do pick up
We alternate sick kids and doctor appts
Organizing household, buying gifts, play dates, sports/activities, kids clothes, daycare issues- all me
We both work.

[Anonymous]

We both work FT with two young kids

Cooking and meal-planning 100% DW

Packing lunches getting bottles together for daycare 90% DW

De-cluttering 60/40 DH

Organizing closets/spring cleaning etc. 100% DH

House cleaning 80% cleaning service 20% DW

Bills 50/50 (mostly online)

Yard 100% DH

Car stuff 100% DH (we share one car)

Laundry 90% DW

House repair 100% DH

Taxes 100% DH

Weekly trash and recycle 100% DW

Errands 70/30 DH (I do a lot of stuff online, he does most of the Target/Home Depot runs etc.)

Grocery 90% DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how does one pay the bills and not handle the investments and understand the bank flow. When you say pay bills do you mean just pay the utilities or are you including, mortgage, student loans, credit cards, car payments etc...

Yes.

[Anonymous]

I'm finding it interesting that the men who are posting are those who do the majority of the work in their homes. I'm guessing those who don't are unaware DCUM even exists!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding it interesting that the men who are posting are those who do the majority of the work in their homes. I'm guessing those who don't are unaware DCUM even exists!

But how many of our husbands believe (or merely claim) they do much more than they actually do?

[Anonymous]

Work 40 hr week-DH
Work 0 hr/week DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Laundry 0/100-DW

Dinner 0/100-DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Yard 0/100-DW

Bills 0/100-DW

Misc. Household chores 0/100-DW

Sick kids/ Dr visits 0/100-DW

Investments 0/100-DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Is Stepford a walkable neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Cooking - 90/10 - DW
Pay bills - 95/5 - DH
Help w/ homework - 99/1 DW
House cleaning - 100/0 - DW
Yard maintenance - none
Laundry - 100/0 - DW
Grocery shopping - 90/10 - DW

I work part-time, but this was also the arrangement when I worked full time. Really unhappy about it, actually, but DH is very hostile to both the idea of his helping me more and to the idea of my hiring help. For that matter, it also pisses him off if I try to do any of these things when he's around, since it "ruins his weekend".

That is so sad. A relationship where one of the partners can say "this pisses me off" and the other is "really unhappy about that", doesn't seem very healthy.

Time for YOU to get pissed off.

Thanks- very validating to hear it. I've long been pissed, but since he absolutely refuses all alternatives, that's the deal unless I'm prepared to leave.

We reached the same impasse. Went to counselling. It helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding it interesting that the men who are posting are those who do the majority of the work in their homes. I'm guessing those who don't are unaware DCUM even exists!

But how many of our husbands believe (or merely claim) they do much more than they actually do?

I've got to give DH credit on this one: he's lazy and he admits it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work 40 hr week-DH
Work 0 hr/week DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Laundry 0/100-DW

Dinner 0/100-DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Yard 0/100-DW

Bills 0/100-DW

Misc. Household chores 0/100-DW

Sick kids/ Dr visits 0/100-DW

Investments 0/100-DH

How do you feel about this arrangement? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Especially since 40 hrs. is not an overwhelming work schedule...

[Anonymous]

http://money.cnn.com/2012/08/28/pf/investment-rich-men/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Is Stepford a walkable neighborhood?

Not the pp, but I wish I lived there!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work 40 hr week-DH
Work 0 hr/week DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Laundry 0/100-DW

Dinner 0/100-DW

Dishes 0/100-DW

Yard 0/100-DW

Bills 0/100-DW

Misc. Household chores 0/100-DW

Sick kids/ Dr visits 0/100-DW

Investments 0/100-DH

I'm a WOHM but seeing that 0 hours next to DW is pretty insulting. The mother of your children is staying home to take care of the kids and you don't give her credit for hours worked? You seem like a real ass.