Household Division of Work Question
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Anonymous
I think you are in the minority. I read once that in something like 70% of American households, the wives manage the bill paying. |
Anonymous
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DH does almost all the cooking. I make stuff that (sorry in advance) involves breastmilk, but other than that he does the cooking. Sometimes DH uses me as a sous chef, but mostly I make yogurt for the baby, ice, and reservations. Since he's the cook, he's the main food shopper, though I often go along to do things like keep him company.
Laundry is split 33%/33% (the baby's laundry is done by the nanny, and our sheets/towels are done by the cleaning lady). Errands are 50/50. Bill paying is about 50/50. I work longer hours so he does more childcare than me, but the baby doesn't sleep through the night and night shifts are all mine. I initiate travel plans, he does the details. Socializing is 50/50. |
Anonymous
Cooking - 90/10 - DW Pay bills - 95/5 - DH Help w/ homework - 99/1 DW House cleaning - 100/0 - DW Yard maintenance - none Laundry - 100/0 - DW Grocery shopping - 90/10 - DW I work part-time, but this was also the arrangement when I worked full time. Really unhappy about it, actually, but DH is very hostile to both the idea of his helping me more and to the idea of my hiring help. For that matter, it also pisses him off if I try to do any of these things when he's around, since it "ruins his weekend". |
Anonymous
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Cooking - 100 - DW Pay bills - 90/10 - DW Balance accounts - 100 - DH (used to be DW but DH took over when pregnancy brain arrived and we haven't gone back) Help w/ homework - n/a House tidying - 50/50 (we have a cleaning person) Dishwasher - 100 - DW, by-hand dishes 60/40 - DW Yard maintenance - 80/20 - DH (lawn - 100 - DH, garden beds - 100 - DW, extra projects - 90/10 - DH) Laundry - 90/10 - DW Grocery shopping - 70/30 - DW It's way more gendered than I'd ever have predicted but it works for us. (I'm DW and SAH.) |
Anonymous
| What I want to know is this: How do you deal with readjusting, esp. if the SAHM/DW goes back to work and is no longer able to do so much of the household stuff? And yes, I know to talk to DH about it but it's going to take more than just a chat. |
Anonymous
In my case, no readjustment happened. We just live with things that don't get done as well as I'd like, since I can't do everything. Chats had no effect. DH either ignores me (stares straight ahead) or gets really angry. |
Anonymous
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I work 80% so have a more flexible schedule:
Cooking: 70/30 me Laundry: 90/10 me Grocery shopping: 70/30 DH Cleaning:50/50 but we have different priorities (and a once a month cleaner) Outside: 80/20 DH Bathing kids & bedtime reading: 50/50 Playing w/kids/sports/school activities: 80/20 DW |
Anonymous
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Cooking 80/20 DH
Bills 95/5 DW Laundry 75/25 DW Grocery 80/20 Dh Dishes 95/5 DW Tidying 90/10 DW Kid stuff 50/50 except buying clothes 100 percent DW no outdoor space Basically DH is the cook and I do most everything else household related. He's a good cook and I'm a micromanager so it works. |
Anonymous
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Here's ours. Our children are 10 and 13.
Cooking - 85/15 - DH Pay bills - 100 - DW Help w/ homework - 85/15 - DW House cleaning - 50 DW the other 50 is cleaning service and children. DH does literally nothing Yard maintenance - 25 DH, 75 lawn service I only weed and plant flowers Laundry - 100 DW Grocery shopping - 100 - DW |
Anonymous
It's sad that I have to. DH is low energy and lazy and his lack of contribution has long been a bone of contention. |
Anonymous
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Both work FT but regular hours. One toddler.
Cooking - 75/25 - DH Dishes - 100 DH Pay bills - 100 - DW Baby stuff (laundry, food prep, daycare prep) - 85/15 - DW House cleaning - 80/20 DH Yard maintenance - 100 DH Laundry - 50/50 Grocery shopping - 85/15 - DW but he does other shopping (Target, Home Depot etc) |
Anonymous
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It used to be:
Cooking: 95/5 DW Laundry: 100 DW Grocery shopping: 98/2 DW Bills: 100% DH Cleaning:100 DW Outside: 10 DW/90 Service Bathing kids & bedtime reading: 100 DW Playing w/kids/sports/school activities: 100 DW Snow shoveling car/walk: 60 DH/40 Kids I got really pissed off, so now it's: Cooking: 100 Housekeeper Laundry: 100 Housekeeper Grocery shopping: 100 DW Bills: 100% DH Cleaning: 100 Housekeeper Outside: 100 Service Bathing kids & bedtime reading: 100 DW Playing w/kids/sports/school activities: 50/50 Snow shoveling car/walk: 60 DH/40 Kids I'm much happier now. I forgo lots to have a full time housekeeper, but my attitude is fabulous! |
Anonymous
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We both work FT. Cooking - 80/20 - DW (DH does lunch and snacks for school) Pay bills / finances - 90/10 - DW Help w/ homework - 50/50 House cleaning - 80/20 - DW Yard maintenance - 90/10 - DH Laundry - 100 - DH Grocery shopping / target stuff - 90/10 - DW Fun activities for kids & travel planning - 70/30 DH |
Anonymous
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Cooking - 100 - DW
Pay bills - 100 - DH, but most of the bills are on autopay Help w/ homework - NA - kid is 2yo House cleaning - 70/30 - DW Yard maintenance - 100 - DH Laundry - 90/10 - DW Grocery shopping - 100 - DW Dog - 80/20 - DH This is how it works out for us in terms of the day to day stuff around the house. DH takes care of all one-off projects, such as leaky faucets, leaking pipes, shoveling snow, etc. |
Anonymous
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Cooking 100 DW
Laundry 25/25/50 Housekeeper/DW/DH Cleaning 75 DW Bills 100 DW Scheduling planning 100 DW Shopping 95 DW 5 DH Medical care for all 95 DW 5 DH Homework 75 DW 25 DH Dog 100 DW |