At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?

[Anonymous]

My daughter voluntarily gave hers up about 3 months after her third birthday. We talked about it for a long time beforehand, how she was a big girl, and didn't need it anymore, and how we would wait for her to tell us when she was ready to give it to the paci fairy to give to a new baby. We talked about the paci fairy with the dentist when she went for her first appointment at 3. She selected the toy she wanted the paci fairy to bring (a ride-on digger like the neighbor has). We watched the Elmo Good Bye Pacifier video more times than I can count. And every morning for about 6 months, she'd wake up and say "I'm a big girl, I don't need the paci any more" And then at nap and/or bed time she'd say "I'm not ready to give up my paci." Until one day she really was ready. And that was that. No tears. She never asked for it again. Like one of the PPs, it was the end of the naps, which was sad, and now has a harder time relaxing by herself in bed if she's not quite ready to fall asleep, but we were glad to bid farewell to the paci. Her baby brother is giving his up when he turns 1!

[Anonymous]

My parent's allowed me to have a paci somewhere between the age of 2 and 3. Then they finally took it away. My mother still says that was a huge mistake to have not done it sooner.

It didn't really effect me until I started getting my permanent teeth in. Seems that I had learned how to incorrectly swallow from sleeping with a pacifier. So by the time I was 13 the bad swallowing I did was slowly pushing out my teeth. It took YEARS of orthodontia and gear in my mouth. It was extremely painful and there is nothing like going through the awkward years with various devices to correct your mouth. They spent a fortune and I was in mouth gear for approximately 5 years.

I am sure this is not the case for every child but it is a possibility. Just take it away now. I wish my parent had.

[Anonymous]

I never took our daughter's away from her. I am rigid and inflexible enough in other areas of her life and I just don't have any issue with kids having binkies for lengthy periods of time. If she were a thumb sucker, I couldn't get rid of her thumb. So she decided on her own to give it up 2 weeks before kindergarten. She is 10 now and we have seen no lasting effects. Dentist says her teeth are great and her bite is perfect. So no worries about extended binky use here.

[Anonymous]

Start saving for braces. Really, that's the only problem with it. My dd sucks her thumb so there's nothing for me to take away

[Anonymous]

Ok, one of the Pp's was asking for a reason to take it away. One huge reason that never seems to be discussed is the fact that because they are just starting to pronounce words and talk that tons of their conversation comes out muffled, because they have a plug in their mouth. I mean, how many times do you see a little one say something, and you can't understand them. They are just start learn vocabulary, and it messes with it. You wanted a reason, but let me guess, you won't like that one either.

[Anonymous]

20:34 - most people are saying their kid uses it for sleeping. My 2.5 puts his in right before his head hits the pillow and it falls out pretty soon after he goes to sleep. He doesn't even take it out of bed. So no, I personally don't think it affects his speech at all and this don't consider your reason to be one that requires me to take it away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Dude, take it away, let her scream for a week, and it's over. Stop fretting. You only prolong the process by continuing to give into it. Take it away, say no, and grow a pair. Wow.

+1

Buckling over a 3 hour crying fit is only going to assure you of more three hour crying fits, over lots of other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Ok, one of the Pp's was asking for a reason to take it away. One huge reason that never seems to be discussed is the fact that because they are just starting to pronounce words and talk that tons of their conversation comes out muffled, because they have a plug in their mouth. I mean, how many times do you see a little one say something, and you can't understand them. They are just start learn vocabulary, and it messes with it. You wanted a reason, but let me guess, you won't like that one either.

So obnoxious. OP said her child is very verbal and only uses her pack for sleeping. So of course she won't like your reason. And I don't get where you think she's been turning down reasons right and left. One person said the dentist recommends it go by age 3, many others said their dentists didn't think it was a problem at all. One person said she used a pacifier and somehow knew that it was the one thing that contribute to her dental issues 10 years later and another said to start saving for braces which most kids get anyway it seems regardless of pacifier use. So really I have not seen this wealth of arguments against night-time pacifier use for a 2.5yo that OP had been willfully ignoring.

[Anonymous]

We let our DS keep his paci until he was almost 3.5. He only used it for naps on the weekends (not at daycare) and nights by then (I think we switched to sleeping and airplanes only about age 1). He had no other lovey, so I wanted to get rid of the paci but worried we had nothing to replace it with security-blanket-wise. And then we went to my visit my parents on the west coast and, cue scary music, I forgot the bag of pacis. I thought it would be a perfect time to get rid of them entirely, but DH talked me into buying him a new one so we could all get some sleep. Lo and behold, he popped the new one in his mouth and gagged. Apparently, by that point, only the completely disgusting years-old pacis tasted right?! And that was the end of that. I kind of wish now that I'd gotten him a new paci MUCH sooner!

Seriously, OP, do whatever feels right for you and your kid. Ignore the haters.

[Anonymous]

One person said she used a pacifier and somehow knew that it was the one thing that contribute to her dental issues 10 years later

That's not what I said. I said that given how awful the dental issues I experienced were for me, even if there were a one percent chance that the paci was the cause, I didn't want to risk it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ok, one of the Pp's was asking for a reason to take it away. One huge reason that never seems to be discussed is the fact that because they are just starting to pronounce words and talk that tons of their conversation comes out muffled, because they have a plug in their mouth. I mean, how many times do you see a little one say something, and you can't understand them. They are just start learn vocabulary, and it messes with it. You wanted a reason, but let me guess, you won't like that one either.

So obnoxious. OP said her child is very verbal and only uses her pack for sleeping. So of course she won't like your reason. And I don't get where you think she's been turning down reasons right and left. One person said the dentist recommends it go by age 3, many others said their dentists didn't think it was a problem at all. One person said she used a pacifier and somehow knew that it was the one thing that contribute to her dental issues 10 years later and another said to start saving for braces which most kids get anyway it seems regardless of pacifier use. So really I have not seen this wealth of arguments against night-time pacifier use for a 2.5yo that OP had been willfully ignoring.

This is person is the last person who should be having dcurbanmom debates. Ok, let me explain slowly so you get it. Not the Op, but another poster was asking what a good reason to take it away it, well, have you ever been in Starbucks, and seen a kid with a Pacifier, talking up a storm, not understanding anything he's saying. It's because tons of people have their kids walk around town with with one in their mouths, when they could be, I don't know, talking, maybe.

[Anonymous]

If OP's child only uses the paci for sleeping, this isn't an issue for her, but our neighbor's child, who is 4, uses a paci during the day, and other children in the neighborhood talk about it negatively. A child at DS's daycare, who is three, uses one at school, and I have also heard kids making fun of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ok, one of the Pp's was asking for a reason to take it away. One huge reason that never seems to be discussed is the fact that because they are just starting to pronounce words and talk that tons of their conversation comes out muffled, because they have a plug in their mouth. I mean, how many times do you see a little one say something, and you can't understand them. They are just start learn vocabulary, and it messes with it. You wanted a reason, but let me guess, you won't like that one either.

So obnoxious. OP said her child is very verbal and only uses her pack for sleeping. So of course she won't like your reason. And I don't get where you think she's been turning down reasons right and left. One person said the dentist recommends it go by age 3, many others said their dentists didn't think it was a problem at all. One person said she used a pacifier and somehow knew that it was the one thing that contribute to her dental issues 10 years later and another said to start saving for braces which most kids get anyway it seems regardless of pacifier use. So really I have not seen this wealth of arguments against night-time pacifier use for a 2.5yo that OP had been willfully ignoring.

This is person is the last person who should be having dcurbanmom debates. Ok, let me explain slowly so you get it. Not the Op, but another poster was asking what a good reason to take it away it, well, have you ever been in Starbucks, and seen a kid with a Pacifier, talking up a storm, not understanding anything he's saying. It's because tons of people have their kids walk around town with with one in their mouths, when they could be, I don't know, talking, maybe.

Really no getting your attitude on this. Not going back to re-read the entire thread, but Op did indeed ask if there was a reason she needed o give it up: "Can someone reassure me I am not ruining her teeth/mouth for the rest of her life?" and I don't think there was anyone else who asked again. Sure I'll give you that it's gross and harms verbal development to see 5yos walking around during the day with a pacifier, but everyone on this thread has said their child uses it only for sleeping. No one has asked for a reason that their kid shouldn't bewalking around with it a day. I just don't get why you had to insert that obnoxious "but oh probably won't like that reason either" at the end of your post - has Op or anyone been back on to say why they don't like any of the few reasons given?

[Anonymous]

"Can someone reassure me I am not ruining her teeth/mouth for the rest of her life?"

I guess the best person to ask that question to is a doctor or dentist. I don't understand why OP didn't ask a doctor or dentist before initially taking the pacifier away. The problem that I have with the post is that it seems to me like OP's real reason for not wanting to do this is because it upsets her daughter, not because her opinion of whether it should be done (which can reasonably vary from family to family) has changed. To me, that in and of itself is not a good reason. Advice, directly from the child's medical providers, is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One person said she used a pacifier and somehow knew that it was the one thing that contribute to her dental issues 10 years later

That's not what I said. I said that given how awful the dental issues I experienced were for me, even if there were a one percent chance that the paci was the cause, I didn't want to risk it.

Sorry PP - I think I was confusing the two posts after reading them quickly - yours and the swallowing story. Anyway, I'm just saying that there are many people who have no issues after long-time paci use, many people who have many dental issues even without using one, and certainly some who can attribute paci use to dental issues. Hard to say.