At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
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Anonymous
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DD is 2.5 and generally a really easy kid. She is very verbal, sleeps and naps very well, and is well behaved- at least for a 2 year old.
Our challenge is getting rid of her pacifier. She only has one left- and it is only used in her crib for sleeping, but we have had no success taking it away. We tried to say it got lost which resulted in her screaming for 3 hours until we gave it to her (blood curdling, unbearable screaming like she was in terrible physical pain). We gave in on that. We poked some holes in it, no change. We have told her she can get a brand new stuffed animal like her friends, give it to a new baby who needs it, used elmo videos about saying goodbye to pacifiers, etc. Nothing works. She is a really mellow kid except on this issue. She also has it in her mouth all night so its not like she will drop it and eventually forget it- I think she actually needs it to sleep now. I'm tempted to just forget about this for a while and let her come to this on her own or revisit it when she is a little older since 2.5 seems to be the absolute worst age to get into a power struggle. Has anyone had success getting their kids to drop pacifiers around this age or later? Can someone reassure me I am not ruining her teeth/mouth for the rest of her life? I just don't think I can handle going through the hours of screaming again with no success. |
Anonymous
| OP, it's time to cut the cord. Or pull the paci, as the case may be. Take it away. Replace with a gift and a note: Dear Kim, You are such a big girl now so your pacifier was taken to be given to the babies. Here is a stuffy to love in your crib instead. Love, The Pacifier Fairy. Then bear down and prepare for the onslaught. There are some things that parents just need to do and getting rid of a pacifier at 2.5 is one of them. Of course she needs it to sleep - it's all she knows! You're also quite dependent on it because you're scared to take it away. Don't be. Just do it. Quit threatening or cajoling. Just do it and be done. The onslaught won't last too long and it will be over. You can't keep placating her because you're afraid of her reaction. If not the pacifier, it will be something else. Be the grown up. |
Anonymous
| Many dentists say no need to be concerned, in terms of teeth, until 3 or 4. I haven't faced this battle yet (older kid refused to take a pacifier and younger kid is only 4 months old), but I have faced down other challenges where I thought my kid was supposed to be doing something by a certain age and wasn't. In nearly all cases, waiting a few months and trying again (or even waiting a few more months and trying yet again) worked much better. |
Anonymous
| We "left it" at Grandma's house one weekend. Worked great! |
Anonymous
Our pediatric dentist told us at her first visit at 2yo that there was no need to try to take our oldest DD's pacifier away, especially since she was about to get a sister and would likely need the comfort. We didn't try at all. One night when she was 2.5y we couldn't find her pacifier. She fell asleep anyways. She then didn't ask for it for a couple days. When she next asked for it, I simply mentioned that I couldn't find it. Every few days she would bring it up but not fuss when I mentioned I couldn't find it. It was so painless to let her just drop it when she was done. Also, her teeth are perfect -- no cavities, straight. Her dentist thinks she is doing just fine. |
Anonymous
| OP, we have the same issue with our (gulp--I know I'm going to get flamed for this) just turned 3 yo. She still clings to her paci at night. Just at night, but still, she has it. It also has holes in it, etc., and it's pretty pathetic -- but it's her security object. We are moving to a new house next week, so I have been loathe to pull the plug (literally) in anticipation of the move, but am steeling myself to do so soon (maybe a month) after we move. Not looking forward to it, but I know we have to do it. Just comiserating. GL, OP. |
Anonymous
This is a great idea! Thanks! |
Anonymous
| Dude, take it away, let her scream for a week, and it's over. Stop fretting. You only prolong the process by continuing to give into it. Take it away, say no, and grow a pair. Wow. |
Anonymous
| Why don't you really get rid of it instead of just hiding it so that you will not be tempted to give it back to her if she screams? |
Anonymous
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My daughter had hers until she was 5, when she gave it up on her own. Her teeth are pretty darn straight. She's almost 7 now and still talks about her paci -- she misses it. But she feels pretty accomplished for giving it up on her own. I think that counts.
I'm going to go against the grain and say let your child have it -- she's only using it for bed and it seems to provide some level of comfort for her, so be it. |
Anonymous
| Um, she's really 7 and talks about her paci, interesting. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| I'm with the relaxed crowd. My almost-3 year old DD still sleeps with her pacis at home. She doesn't use them at school and she doesn't use them at any other time unless she's in her bed. And I am not concerned in the slightest. Neither her pediatrician nor her pediatric dentist urged us to take it away. She likes it and and our bedtime routine is a snap because of it. I don't see a problem. She'll give it up when she's ready. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, i just dont see a reason to impose hours of screaming on your.kid when dentists say its not harmful until 3 or 4. A three year old is much better equipped to handle this - a 2.5 year old can't understand why they can't have it. |
Anonymous
| DD (now 6) gave it up at 3.5 and that was the end of naps. DS is almost 3.5 and we are holding off for a few more months because it will end his naps, too. As my dad used to say, "she won't go to college with it ..." |